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That '70s Show Quotes

“People of America, I give you 'Genitals in the Sky!'”
— Fez, That '70s Show, Season 5: Immigrant Song
Tagged: America, genitals, Sky, Art
“Wow! It’s every little girl’s dream to get married out of spite!”
— Donna Pinciotti, That '70s Show, Season 5: Nobody's Fault But Mine
Tagged: Wow, Dream, Little Girl, married, Spite, sarcastic
“I'm sorry, but a man in his sexual prime has needs. And you are lucky to have such a stallion at your disposal.”
— Fez, That '70s Show, Season 5: Trampled Under Foot
Tagged: Man, sexual prime, stallion, Metaphor Examples
“I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man. They just don’t want us to know, because then we'd buy all the water.”
— Steven Hyde, That '70s Show, Season 5: Trampled Under Foot
Tagged: Government, Car, Water, Buy
“We keep our Christmas decorations down there. Baby Jesus was watching.”
— Kitty Forman, That '70s Show, Season 5: Bring It on Home
Tagged: Christmas, decorations, Baby Jesus, Watching
“Jackie: No way, Fez I can’t believe you finally lost your virginity.

Eric: Wait, this isn’t like the time you bought a hamster, named it Virginity and then lost it, is it?”
— Eric Foreman, That '70s Show, Season 5: Whole Lotta Love
Tagged: Sex, lost virginity, hamster, lost
“I mean, it’s simple. The woman just needs to be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room, and an acrobat in the bedroom. And I can hire a cook and a maid.”
— Jackie Burkhart, That '70s Show, Season 5: When the Levee Breaks
Tagged: Simple, Woman, Cook, Clean, acrobat, Sex, Hire
“Eric, honey, could you get the Thanksgiving turkey out of the freezer? Oh, wait. It's a 20-pounder. Donna, could you get the Thanksgiving turkey out of the freezer?”
— Kitty Forman, That '70s Show, Season 5: Thank You
Tagged: Thanksgiving, Turkey, heavy, Strong
“Well, I think this whole room is a great example of bad taste.”
— Donna Pinciotti, That '70s Show, Season 5: Ramble On
Tagged: whole room, Example, Bad Taste
“Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I'm sick and tired of hearing about that little fruit!”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 5: Going to California
Tagged: Luke Skywalker, Sick, Tired, little fruit
“I love that woman with a FIERY PASSION...that consumes my soul!”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 4: Leo Loves Kitty
Tagged: Woman, Love, Fiery, Passion, Soul
“ Ah good, all the half-wits are here.”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 4: Prank Day
Tagged: Good, Sassy, half-wits
“No, wh-what is it now. You want me to drop out of high school, join the Salvation Army, and go off and fight wars?”
— Michael Kelso, That '70s Show, Season 4: Leo Loves Kitty
Tagged: high school, salvation army, fight wars, mixup
“Eric: I'm... sleepwalking?

Red: And I'm about to be sleepkicking your ass.”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 4: Eric's Hot Cousin
Tagged: Sleepwalking, kicking, Kicking Ass
“Eric: Hey...leggo my Eggo.

Red: Hey...leggo my foot up your ass!”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 4: Jackie Says Cheese
Tagged: leggo my eggo, waffle, Threat, Foot
“Fez, the foundation of every good relationship is three words: I don't know. Where are you going? I don't know. What are you thinking about? I don't know. Who is that under you? I don't know. You see, it's bulletproof!”
— Michael Kelso, That '70s Show, Season 4: The Third Wheel
Tagged: Three Words, I Don't Know, Questions, excuses
“Technically I got you. And then you blew it.”
— Donna Pinciotti, That '70s Show, Season 4: Red and Stacey
Tagged: Dating, Relationships, Blew It, broke up
“Things at ballet class have taken a turn for the worse. Somehow, I've become one of the girls...a hairy, brown girl.”
— Fez, That '70s Show, Season 4: Bye-Bye Basement
Tagged: ballet class, Worse, Girls, Hairy
“God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?”
— Eric Foreman, That '70s Show, Season 4: Bye-Bye Basement
Tagged: breakfast, Morning, carnation, Instant, Diss
“Oh, I hope I win this van. I really need a place to do it with Jackie.”
— Michael Kelso, That '70s Show, Season 4: Hyde Gets a Girl
Tagged: Win, van, Prize, Sex
“If you can see a future for yourself without me, and that doesn't, like, break your heart, then we're not doing what I thought we're doing here and you know what? Maybe we shouldn't even be together at all!”
— Eric Foreman, That '70s Show, Season 3: The Promise Ring
Tagged: Future, heart breaking, Relationship, break ups
“ A promise ring is not only a gift from the heart, but it also means more sex and less mouthin' off.”
— Michael Kelso, That '70s Show, Season 3: The Promise Ring
Tagged: promise ring, Gift, heart, Sex, mouthing off
“Oh wonderful, I started out in God's magic circle and ended up in Satan's evil square. I can't believe any of you would walk into church without bursting into flames.”
— Kitty Forman, That '70s Show, Season 3: Holy Craps!
Tagged: wonderful, God, Church, satan, bursting into flames
“While we were getting beat up, I think I got to second base.”
— Fez, That '70s Show, Season 3: The Trials of M. Kelso
Tagged: Beat Up, second base, breasts
“ I just wanna say...when my time comes, I want to be buried face down, so that anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass!”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 3: Who Wants It More
Tagged: time comes, Death, buried, face down, Kiss my ass
“That's your own brain comprehending its own stupidity.”
— Red Forman , That '70s Show, Season 3: Hyde's Christmas Rager
Tagged: Brain, comprehending, stupidity, Insult, Diss
“I'm not that drunk... I just can't walk or see... Man, that was a great party.”
— Eric Foreman, That '70s Show, Season 3: Hyde's Christmas Rager
Tagged: Drunk, Walk, party, see
“Okay, you know what: you forced me to do this. I'm gonna explain my feelings to you through a highly disciplined form of Japanese poetry: Haiku.

My heart aches with pain. 
When I see you, I vomit. 
Die away from me.”
— Steven Hyde, That '70s Show, Season 3: Jackie Bags Hyde
Tagged: Forced, Feelings, Japanese poetry, haiku, heart ache, Pain, Vomit
“I can't believe Laurie bit me. I hope she didn't give me slut rabies.”
— Donna Pinciotti, That '70s Show, Season 2: Cat Fight Club
Tagged: Bite, Slut, Rabies, Sassy, Fight
“ You tried to control her Eric, and the women always controls the men.”
— Fez, That '70s Show, Season 2: Kelso's Serenade
Tagged: Control, Men, Women, Relationships, Advice
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