Real Rob

(5 total)

Centers around comedian Rob Schneider's real life while living in Hollywood.

Seasons

Season 1 (5)Season 2

Characters

Rob Schneider (6)Patricia Maya Schneider (5)Rob (4)Patricia (1)Patricia Schneider (1)

When it comes to food, guys work around the problem. For a guy not to eat his food, it’ll take more than a hair. For a guy not to eat his food, it’ll take multiple hairs attached to a pair of balls.

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

food men v. women Gross balls

My wife’s Mexican. She’s not like, jump out at you Mexican, you know? I’m not saying that Mexicans jump out at you, but there is some occasional jumping.

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

Mexican Sensitiviity

Wife: I got rid of the pole because I didn’t think it was sending the right message.

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Patricia, Patricia Schneider, imdb.com

Stripper Pole Baby Nursery

I have a 40-year-old assistant. Now, he’s a great guy, but two things: Never hire a 40-year-old assistant. And never hire your friend. Especially a friend who doesn’t know jack shit about computers. Especially when you don’t know jack shit about computers.

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

Assistant Jack Shit Friends

Rob: So I can’t touch your boobs? Patricia: No. Rob: Well, that sucks. Patricia: You can touch my boobs over my shirt. Rob: Yeah, but it’s not the same thing. Patricia: Well, it’s better than nothing. Rob: Well, barely.

— Rob Schneider, Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

boobs

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