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Flaked Quotes

“Alex: You brought the party to me. That is so romantic.

Cooler: At last, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio.

That Guy from Season One: That's Hamlet.

Cooler: No, man...Shakespeare.”
— Cooler, Flaked, Season 2: Day Four
Tagged: Hamlet, shakespeare
“Chip: Do you wanna exchange info or something? Maybe we could get a coffee or...

Cute Girl: Seriously? I have a boyfriend... you should put some walls up.”
— Evan Mann, Gareth Reynolds, Flaked, Season 2: Day Five
Tagged: Flirting
“ I tried to drown my sorrows in alcohol, but the bastards learned how to swim.”
— Chip, Flaked, Season 1: Westminster
Tagged: Alcohol, Sorrows, Bastards
“Dennis: This guys is unbelievable, He wrote the fucking book on bullshit.

Tilly: At least he says he did.”
— Mark Chappell, Will Arnett, Flaked, Season 1: Shell
Tagged: Bullshit, unbelievable, Fucking
“Cooler: She is, like, my idea of the perfect wife. We would be so happy together for, like, 15 years.

Chip: Wait, I'm sorry. Even your idea of the perfect fantasy wife ends in divorce?

Cooler: Yeah. Yeah, for sure, but it would be amicable.”
— Chip, Flaked, Season 1: Westminster
Tagged: perfect wife, Divorce
“No. That's not how it works. Winning the lottery twice, like, the chances of that are astrological.”
— Cooler, Flaked, Season 2: Day Two
Tagged: Malapropism, astrological, astronomical, lottery
“[speaking to the group] I came to Venice by accident. No, let me rephrase that. I came to Venice because of an accident. Ten years ago, I killed a man. It was my fault. There's no excuse for it. You see, when it's left up to me, my best thinking, well, my best thinking tells me it's okay to get loaded and get behind the wheel of a car. And that's what I did. I took another human being's life. And, in the process, destroyed what was left of mine. But the people in these rooms, you got me sober. You got me back on my feet, which is just as well, as I walk everywhere now. The State of California no longer thinks it's a good idea for me to drive. You taught me to be humble, to be honest, brutally honest, about who I am and what I'd done. You taught me that if I really wanted to help myself, that I had to stick my hand out and help others.”
— Chip, Flaked, Season 1: Westminster
Tagged: accident, Murder, California, Drive
“You've got a serious platitude problem.”
— Mark Chappell, Will Arnett, Flaked, Season 1: Horizon
Tagged: platitudes
“Chip: I'm not not yet past the cut-off point.

Dennis: You mean the point at which you cut her off?

Chip: No. The point at which a series of casual hook-ups turns into a relationship.

Dennis: Let me get this straight. So, you were willing to jeopardize our friendship for this girl, and you're not even serious about her?

Chip: No, man, I am serious about her. That's why we're not in a relationship.”
— Chip, Flaked, Season 1: Westminster
Tagged: Relationship, Cut-Off, Hook-Up
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