Drake & Josh

(18 total)

Drake & Josh is an American television sitcom created by Dan Schneider for Nickelodeon. The series follows the lives of two teenage boys with opposing personalities, Drake Parker and Josh Nichols, who become stepbrothers. Both actors had played previous r

Seasons

Season 1 (7)Season 2 (9)Season 3 (2)Season 4

Characters

Dan Schneider (9)Eric Friedman (7)Drake Bell (3)Drake Parker & Josh Nichols (3)Drake Parker (3)Drake Bell & Josh Peck (3)Josh Peck & Drake Bell (3)Andrew Hill Newman (2)Josh Nichols & Drake Parker (voice) (2)Barry O'Brien (1)

Josh: Drake? Drake: Yeah? Josh: You just met her and you're already kissing? Drake: I gave her a soda.

— Eric Friedman, Josh Nichols & Drake Parker, Josh Peck & Drake Bell, imdb.com

Drake: You're kind of a girl, right? Mindy: Well, if I'm not, then I've been buying the wrong underwear!

— Dan Schneider, Drake Parker & Mindy Crenshaw, Drake Bell & Allison Scagliotti, imdb.com

Drake: [talking about the Gary Coleman grills] I'm telling you, we didn't steal the grills. FBI Agent: It was reported that two Caucasian males stole the grills from a factory truck. Drake: See! We're not Caucasian, we're white guys!

— Eric Friedman, Drake Parker, Drake Bell, imdb.com

Mrs. Hayfer: Drake, what's your favorite novel from the 20th century? Drake: Uh... Catcher in the Rye. Mrs. Hayfer: Wrong.

— Eric Friedman, Drake Parker & Mrs. Kelly Hayfer, Drake Bell & Chelsea Brummet, imdb.com

Josh: Drake, we're supposed to be studying for our driving test! Drake: [playing a driving video game] I am! Josh: Drake, I highly doubt that our driven test will include stealing a bus and running into dragons. Drake: Do you know that for sure?

— Dan Schneider, Drake Parker & Josh Nichols, Drake Bell & Josh Peck, imdb.com

[Megan has put a bucket full of water over Drake and Josh's bedroom door, and it falls on Ashley Blake] Josh: Megan! Why was there a bucket on top of our door? Megan: Why was your door under my bucket?

— Eric Friedman, Josh Nichols & Megan Parker, Josh Peck & Miranda Cosgrove, imdb.com

Drake: Look who's gonna be at this after-party, Ashton Kutcher, Adam Sandler, Ethan LaRoche... Josh: Who's Ethan LaRoche? Drake: I don't know, but he's gonna be there! [later] Josh: Hey, Drake! I just got an autograph from Ethan LaRoche! Drake: Who's that? Josh: I don't know!

— Eric Friedman, Drake Parker & Josh Nichols, Drake Bell & Josh Peck, imdb.com

Josh: I don't know Drake, all this cheating makes me feel... dirty. Drake: Well, take a bath when you get home.

— Eric Friedman, Dan Schneider, Drake Parker & Josh Nichols, Drake Bell & Josh Peck, imdb.com

Mr. Nichols: [needing a last minute birthday gift for Audrey] Uh, get her some toothpaste. She's always using toothpaste! Josh Nichols: Dad, there's two-hundred dollars here. Mr. Nichols: Well, get her some mouthwash, too! I'M JUST A MAN!

— Eric Friedman, Dan Schneider, Walter Nichols & Josh Nichols, Jonathan Goldstein & Josh Peck, imdb.com

Josh: Do you sell guitars? Guitar World Salesman: [sarcastically] Here? At Guitar World? Gee, I don't know.

— Dan Schneider, Josh Nichols & Guitar Salesman Dude, Josh Peck & Jeremy Kent Jackson, imdb.com

You know what Josh? I have dreams. And sometimes in those dreams, things happen to you.

— Barry O'Brien, Megan Parker, Miranda Cosgrove, imdb.com

Drake, be a dear and take my stuff upstairs. And while you're at it, unpack my stuff. And make sure you put my thongs in order by color!

— Andrew Hill Newman, Grammy (voice), Randee Heller, imdb.com

Scottie: [after the band got arrested for having fake tickets to a concert] I'm telling you, the tickets aren't fake! Drake: Are you sure? Scottie: Yeah, I mean I photocopied them myself! Rina: Scottie, you can't photocopy tickets! Scottie: Yes, you can. You just put the tickets on the glass and clo…

— Andrew Hill Newman, Scottie / Drake Parker / Rina, Johnny Lewis / Drake Bell / Molly Orr, imdb.com

[talking to Josh about his crush] Good Luck with Kathy. Remember, she's just a person. I mean, girls are just guys without... just do good.

— Steve Holland, Drake Parker, Drake Bell, imdb.com

Josh: [dangling from the roof] I deserve this. This is all because I forgot to feed my pet turtle, Sheldon in kindergarten. He went to heaven, and now my life is bad. [shouts] Josh: You happy, Sheldon? We're even now! Mr. Nichols: [offscreen] Josh? Josh: Sheldon?

— Dan Schneider, Josh Nichols, Josh Peck, imdb.com

Josh: [walking away from Susan] I think we handled that very maturely. Drake Parker: That felt good. [Susan opens her locker and gets blasted with purple paint] Drake: [sees Susan covered in paint; turns to Josh] That felt better. Josh: Yeah, it did!

— Dan Schneider, Josh Nichols & Drake Parker (voice), Josh Peck & Drake Bell, imdb.com

Josh: I wonder where Drake is with our pizza. Drake: I cannot believe I ate an entire pizza!

— Dan Schneider, Josh Nichols & Drake Parker (voice), Josh Peck & Drake Bell, imdb.com

You didn't get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.

— Dan Schneider, Drake Parker, Drake Bell, imdb.com

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