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Criminal Minds Quotes

“You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.”
— David Rossi, Criminal Minds, Season 11: A Beautiful Disaster
Tagged: Fatherhood, Healing, Parenthood
“Everyone says that love happens when you least expect it. I guess it's true, because when I met you, love was the last thing on my mind. I'd find myself sneaking out to see you. I'd put fancy makeup on just to make you smile. I still feel the touch of your skin. You help me get through every night. You give my life purpose. That's why no matter what people try to do... Nothing is going to keep us apart.”
— Maggie Hallman, Criminal Minds, Season 7: I Love You, Tommy Brown
Tagged: True Love, Falling In Love, Love, Inspirataional
“Medieval medical practitioners believed that chickens could absorb illness. They would rub the birds all over the bodies of the diseased in an attempt to rid them of their sickness.”
— Dr. Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds, Season 13: Submerged
Tagged: Medieval Europe, Illness, sickness, Quack Cures, Folk Medicine
“When Garcia can't find a breadcrumb, it's usually because the bread was never baked.”
— Jennifer Jareau, Criminal Minds, Season 13: Full-Tilt Boogie
Tagged: Breadcrumbs, Detectives
“Aside from being slightly morally repugnant, he's clean as a whistle. If that whistle was slightly morally repugnant.”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds, Season 13: Neon Terror
Tagged: Backhanded Compliments, Morally Repugnant
“Midnight on the clock represents a hypothetical global catastrophe, like a... a nuclear war. Uh, the number of minutes to midnight stand for how soon that could happen.”
— Matt Simmons, Criminal Minds, Season 13: The Bunker
Tagged: Alarmism, midnight
“Did they tell you I'm being hideous? It's because, like...listen to me. I've lost my voice because I've been crying so much. I have, like, major PTSD, with an emphasis on the... on the ’S’ and the ’T.’ And definitely some of the ‘D’ and the ‘P.’ Because it's been a while since all of this happened and...”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds, Season 13: Lucky Strikes
Tagged: Hideous, PTSD, Crying
“Symphorophilia is a type of paraphilia in which sexual arousal is derived from staging and then watching disasters, such as fires or, in this case, car accidents.”
— Dr. Tara Lewis, Criminal Minds, Season 12: Collision Course
Tagged: Symphorophilia, Paraphilia, Sexual Arousal
“Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn't I think of that?”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds, Season 12: A Good Husband
Tagged: Marriage, Marital Bliss
“Statistically, copycat killers tend to be vulnerable narcissists. Though overtly boastful, they harbor deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. Emulating notorious crimes makes them feel powerful.”
— Jim Clemente, Criminal Minds, Season 13: Lucky Strikes
Tagged: Copycat Killers, Narcissists, Inadequacy
“I'm gonna walk you through a scenario and your face is gonna tell me how close I am. From the moment I arrested you, you watched and waited for the right time to take your revenge. When you learned I was going to Mexico, you took it. You and Lindsey framed me for murder so I'd be put in prison and treated like a criminal, and then you kidnapped my mother so I would know how it feels to have a parent manipulated, because you want to prove that you and I are the same. Am I right?”
— Dr. Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds, Season 12: Red Light
Tagged: Mexico, Prison, manipulation
“Destroying a book is like...destroying a whole world.”
— Diana Reid, Criminal Minds, Season 12: Surface Tension
Tagged: Book Burning
“Bullying leaves lasting scars.”
— Dr. Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds, Season 12: The Anti-Terror Squad
Tagged: Buillying, Trauma, Scars
“So you know how I like to sometimes say something clever before I say something sad and disturbing to self-soothe. To that end: please, make sure your seat backs and your tray tables are in their fully upright position, because...yesterday in South Florida the body of a woman was found encased in concrete in a 55-gallon drum.”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds, Season 12: Taboo
Tagged: Parody, Flight Announcements
“Have you always lived on the sappy side, or did that come out when you became a mother?”
— Antonia Slade, Criminal Minds, Season 11: The Storm
Tagged: Sappy, Motherhood
“Look, of all the serial killer types, the ones I find most dangerous are the hyper-intelligent ones that get off more on the mind games than the killing. They're like vampires, ready to suck your soul dry and file your information away for a rainy day.”
— Dr. Tara Lewis, Criminal Minds, Season 11: Devil's Backbone
Tagged: Serial Killers, Vampires
“When in doubt, go with the guy with the long prison record.”
— David Rossi, Criminal Minds, Season 11: The Night Watch
Tagged: Prison, Advice
“Mr. Sandman, bring me a nightmare.”
— David Rossi, Criminal Minds, Season 11: The Sandman
Tagged: Mr. Sandman, Nightmare
“Dying is easy. You know what's hard? Not being there for your son.”
— Hank Morgan, Criminal Minds, Season 11: Derek
Tagged: Dying, Fatherhood
“I don't take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.”
— Derek Morgan, Criminal Minds, Season 11: The Job
Tagged: Pissed Off, Being Blown Up
“David Rossi: You were having an affair, weren't you?

Dr. Spencer Reid: You'll be surprised what someone with a broken heart will do.”
— Sharon Lee Watson, Criminal Minds, Season 11: The Witness
Tagged: Affairs, Cheating, Broken Heart
“My mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?”
— Jennifer Jareau, Criminal Minds, Season 10: If the Shoe Fits
Tagged: fairy tales, Children
“David Rossi: So, there's no way that was a mugging?


Penelope Garcia: No, no! Unless it's some sort, you know, bizarre universe with a square planet, where things are like the exact opposite, totally the same.”
— Janine Sherman Barrois, Jim Clemente, Criminal Minds, Season 10: The Hunt
Tagged: Mugging, Bizarre Universe
“You know Garcia, she carries a laptop, not a gun. She can't even look at crime scene photos without needing pictures of panda bears to counter balance them.”
— Dr. Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds, Season 10: Burn
Tagged: Laptop, Gun, Crime Scene Photos
“Stanley Holmes: Is this really necessary? I told you, I didn't see anything except for those damn kids throwing eggs at my house! I got to go to work in the morning!

David Rossi: Oh, I am sorry for the inconvenience, sir, but I am sure the parents of the missing child don't really care and frankly neither do I!”
— David Rossi, Criminal Minds, Season 10: Boxed In
Tagged: Priorities
“Derek Morgan: Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.


Penelope Garcia: Rub my lamp, release the Genie.”
— Derek Morgan, Criminal Minds, Season 9: Fatal
Tagged: Magic Lamp, Genie
“The Mountain Man seems to be a confluence of several local legends. Some say he's part of the backwoods Appalachian population, others say he's a confederate holdout trying to start a second civil war to turn brother against brother. But the one thing they all could agree upon is that when you go into a darkened bathroom and you chant "I hate The Mountain Man" three times, he'll pop up behind you and kill you the next time you hear Lynyrd Skynyrd on the radio!”
— Dr. Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds, Season 9: Blood Relations
Tagged: Mountain Man, Appalachia, Civil War, Lynyrd Skynyrd, folklore
“I'll tell you what, those Canadians, they seem so sweet and innocent, but when they go bad, they go Darth Vader bad.”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds, Season 9: Angels
Tagged: Canadians, Darth Vader
“He...he kept growing despite his disease. The last time I laid beside him he was almost as long as me. He was ready to go, but I was unready to say goodbye. Begged him to open his eyes. Well, the cruelest part was that I could see who he would be at twenty, but I knew he would never get there.”
— Aaron Hotchner, Criminal Minds, Season 9: Demons
Tagged: Loss, Death of a Child, goodbye, cruel
“He is a part-time electrician, full-time alcoholic!”
— Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds, Season 9: The Edge of Winter
Tagged: Electrician, Alcoholic
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