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Californication Quotes

“I mean, we all have things that trigger our arousal, and if we just acknowledge them as normal and not deny them, then we could just move the fuck on with our lives!”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: sexuality, Why Is Sex Such A Big Deal?, Sex
“She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it up again and again and again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: Mistakes, Relationships & Dating, Sorry
“You're not like me. You're not a warrior. Listen, if we were members of the same tribe, I mean, I'd be out hunting and gathering. You'd be home with the women.”
— Richard Bates, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: insults
“Rehab is for quitters.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: California Son
Tagged: Californication
“Everything is so fucking crazy right now. I don't feel like I can make the right move to save my life.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: 30 Minutes or Less
Tagged: Confusion, Crazy Life
“Turns out it's really expensive to live in a hotel.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Another Perfect Day
Tagged: Living In A Hotel, hotels
“I’m just like my father. You know, there isn’t a woman that I’ve met that I haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“I thought we were a fucking fairy tale, but if you're careless with something long enough you know it breaks. And that's how I feel, broken, completely and utterly broken.”
— Karen van der Beek, Californication, Californication Season 4: The Last Supper
Tagged: broken, Relationship Struggles
“I impulse remarried a depraved lunatic who can't even get it up for me.”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Cokey Smurf, Marriage
“You need boundaries. Sometimes you just need someone to say no, let's not do that because that is fucking sick. Otherwise, we'd all be running around with shit, piss, and blood all over our damn selves and shoving vibrators up our asses all day.”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 4: The Last Supper
Tagged: Sexual Limits, boundaries, Perverted
“You can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her dreams. It’s not gentlemanly.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: California Son
Tagged: Californication
“A morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: One Night Stand, Casual Sex
“Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: Californication
“I can’t keep apologizing for something I can’t change. All I can do is keep moving forward and try to become someone that you can love again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Home Sweet Home
Tagged: Sorry, How To Say Your Sorry, How Many Times Can I Say I'm Sorry
“You do something nice for people — they take advantage of that shit over and over again.”
— Samurai Apocalypse, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: Being Kind, Taken Advantage Of
“I have squandered a lot of opportunities, it's true. I could give you a bunch of excuses. I could blame it on my masturbating agent or I could chalk it up to fear and self-loathing in Los Angeles, but the truth is that... I'm trying to grow the fuck up for once. You know, I'm on a quest to reclaim the best parts of myself before it's too fuckin' late.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Californication
“Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“I've been rich and famous for so long now that I don't think I know what it means to be a human being anymore.”
— Atticus Fetch, Californication, Californication Season 6: In the Clouds
Tagged: rich, Rockstars, Rich People Problems, Famous
“She said one thing. I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“At the end of the day, it’s all about her. It’s always been about her.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: La Petite Mort
Tagged: Californication
“Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean, we have all this amazing technology, and yet… computers have turned into basically four-figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but… But all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and… 24-hour day access to kiddy porn. People… They don’t write anymore. They blog. Instead of talking, they text… No punctuation, no grammar, L.O.L. this and L.M.F.A.O. that. It just seems to me that it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a protolanguage that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: LOL
Tagged: Californication
“If you were gonna have sex with someone and you knew that it would be the absolute last time, what do you think it would be like?”
— Karen van der Beek, Californication, Californication Season 4: The Last Supper
Tagged: Sex, last time, Relationship Questions
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