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American Vandal Quotes

“Instagram filter, Snapchat filters. They're not fucking filters, they're masks.”
— Grayson Wentz, American Vandal, Season 2: The Dump
Tagged: Instagram, Snapchat, filters, Masks
“One day everyone wants to be your friend. The next, everyone wants to see you cry.”
— Jenna Hawthorne, American Vandal, Season 2: Sh*t Storm
Tagged: Friend, cry, high school, Changes
“A bidet shoot, like, a water stream up your ass. Now, it sounds a little gay, but it's not at all. It's hella clean and it's hella tight.”
— DeMarcus Tillman, American Vandal, Season 2: Wiped Clean
Tagged: bidet, Water Stream , tight, cool
“Everybody sees me as this island. Like I don't need anything from anyone. I feel like I'm sinking.”
— Kevin McClain, American Vandal, Season 2: Wiped Clean
Tagged: Island, metaphor example, sinking, upset
“I know without definitive proof, hope means nothing.”
— Peter Maldonado, American Vandal, Season 2: Wiped Clean
Tagged: Proof, Hard Evidence, Hope
“I don't think it would be appropriate for me, as a teacher to say that he's a ten. But you know, he's at least a nine.”
— Angela Montgomery, American Vandal, Season 2: Wiped Clean
Tagged: Teacher, rating, Attractive
“Period after emojis? That's, like, serial killer weird.”
— Sam Ecklund, American Vandal, Season 2: Sh*t Talk
Tagged: punctuation, Emoji, Similie Examples
“If you were untouchable, how bold would you be?”
— Peter Maldonado, American Vandal, Season 2: Leaving a Mark
Tagged: Untouchable, bold, Strong, Questions
“Like, for instance, did you know dolphins weren't fish? Dolphins are mammals, bro. That's crazy. Like, they're just like us, they just swim.”
— DeMarcus Tillman, American Vandal, Season 2: Leaving a Mark
Tagged: Dolphins, Swim, mammal
“The idea that I should care what a bunch of kids at my school think about me... It's preposterous.”
— Kevin McClain, American Vandal, Season 2: #2
Tagged: Care, Preposterous, Peers, School, Perception
“I mean, kids can be really cruel.”
— Chloe Lyman, American Vandal, Season 2: The Brownout
Tagged: cruel, kids, bullying
“You can't throw a watermelon at me.”
— Kevin McClain, American Vandal, Season 2: The Brownout
Tagged: throw, Watermelon, annoyed
“After four years, if enough people see you a certain way, do you start to believe they're right?”
— Peter Maldonado, American Vandal, Season 1: Clean Up
Tagged: Perceptions, Belief, Thoughts
“I'm not, like, book smart or fucking street smart or whatever, but, like I'm not dumb.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Clean Up
Tagged: Street Smart, Book Smart, dumb
“I signed a dick in a girl's yearbook this morning.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Clean Up
Tagged: Yearbook, Signature
“Everyone has something to hide. People withhold information. People exaggerate. People lie.”
— Peter Maldonado, American Vandal, Season 1: Climax
Tagged: Something to Hide, Exaggerate, Lies
“When this is all over, so are you, okay? Because you are nobody, and you're just mad about it.”
— Mackenzie Wagner, American Vandal, Season 1: Climax
Tagged: upset, Diss, Mad, nobody
“You did the dicks because he deserved it for ruining your life.”
— Peter Maldonado, American Vandal, Season 1: Climax
Tagged: accusation, Life, Ruined
“She tells me shit she doesn't tell anyone else. Dude, she tells me when she's on her period.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Climax
Tagged: period, Opening Up, Trust
“I just always thought my first suit would be for, like high-school graduation, or, like, something sick, like the Winter X Games, or like the regular X Games. Or, like my funeral. Not for lame-ass court.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Gag Order
Tagged: Suit, Graduation, X Games, funeral, Court
“I think that's why we were suspended, for flying too close to the sun. It tells me we were getting somewhere.”
— Peter Maldonado, American Vandal, Season 1: Gag Order
Tagged: Suspended, Icarus, Metaphor Examples
“Lit as fuck, man. There was titties, beer, a lot of candy.”
— Spencer Diaz, American Vandal, Season 1: Premature Theories
Tagged: lit, party, Beer, candy
“Pro-tip dude. Never post an ugly video of a chick on Instagram, no matter how fucking dumb she looks. Not worth it, dude. She won't think it's funny.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Growing Suspicion
Tagged: Instagram, Funny, Ugly Video, Pro-tip
“Mac and I are kinda like orange juice and vodka, you know? We just go together.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Growing Suspicion
Tagged: Similie Examples, Orange Juice, vodka, Go together
“The guy said, 'help me help you.' Did you hear that? That is some straight-up teacher shit.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Nailed
Tagged: Help Me Help You, Teacher, sayings
“I lie about all kinds of little stuff like that I understood Inception.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Nailed
Tagged: Lie, Inception, Understanding
“Dylan does a better Kiefer Sutherland impression than Kiefer Sutherland.”
— Spencer Diaz, American Vandal, Season 1: A Limp Alibi
Tagged: Impression, Kiefer Sutherland, best
“Everyone in history has always known that if you text someone 'heyy' with two Y's it means you wanna fuck.”
— Alex Trimboli, American Vandal, Season 1: A Limp Alibi
Tagged: Texting, History, Sex, sign
“A little bitch is more like someone who makes shit up.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: A Limp Alibi
Tagged: Names, nick names, Integrity, Making Things Up
“We call ourselves the Wayback Boys 'cause we go way back.”
— Dylan Maxwell, American Vandal, Season 1: Hard Facts
Tagged: Way Back, Friends, Best Friends
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