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Deadpool 2 Quotes

“I use a device to slide through time. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. I got two charges: One to get me here, one to get me home.”
— Nathan Summers / Cable, Deadpool 2
Tagged: time travel, battery charge
“[from trailer] Your time's up, you dumb fuck.”
— Nathan Summers / Cable, Deadpool 2
Tagged: Time's Up, dumb, Fuck
“Dubstep is for pussies!”
— Nathan Summers / Cable, Deadpool 2
Tagged: Dubstep, Pussies
“Here's a spoiler alert. You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.”
— Nathan Summers / Cable, Deadpool 2
Tagged: fucking hero, Annoying, sex toy, Clown
“From trailer, playing with action figures] Zip it, Cable! I got the stones to help you! [Teabags Cable's action figure with Deadpool's action figure]”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: zip it, action figures, teabagging
“[From trailer] [looks at Cable's incomplete intro] What in the actual ass? Steel! Why...why are the visual effects not done? It's a metal arm! It's not like we're trying to remove a mustache!”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: mustache, Steel, Metal, visual effects
“What do you get when you take eight feet of chrome, one pinch of courage, a cup of good luck, a dab of racism, a splash of diabetes, and a wheelbarrow full of stage 4 cancer? Answer: a family. See? I didn't lie on what kind of film this was. If there's anything you take away today, other than the need to Google 'what the fuck is dubstep,' it's that we all need to belong to someone.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: racism, Courage, Diabetes, cancer, Google, Dubstep
“I hope you sharpened the cream cheese spreader. [throws the spreader onto a criminal who's about to shoot Vanessa, successfully killing him] I'll be right back. [uses Cable's time-traveling device; to Vanessa] We're definitely naming our kid Cher! Wooooo!”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Cher, Cream Cheese
“[To Juggernaut] Hey, big guy! The sun's getting real low!”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool, Deadpool 2
Tagged: Sunset, Big guy
“I'll be the first to admit: This did not go according to plan. I'll also be the first to admit that that plan was written in crayon. Looks like Russell found a new friend, Jelly. Turns out Domino is a bit of a badass and maybe possibly mildly lucky. But Cable, yeesh, that guy's in the mood. A mood that is about to get significantly worse.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Friend, badass, Lucky
“You killed Black Tom, you racist son of a bitch!”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Murder, racist
“In every film, there's a moment when the hero hits rock bottom. In Cool Runnings, it was when John Candy's prized bobsled broke. In Human Centipede, it was when those people signed on to be in that movie. But in this film, well, you're looking at it. Rock, meet bottom.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: human centipede, john candy, Rock Bottom, Hero, cool runnings
“[To Cable] You're so dark. You sure you're not from the DC Universe?”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: DC Comics, dark
“[after listening to Cable's monologue] Well, [he looks at the viewer] that's just lazy writing.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Monologue, lazy writing
“[speaks in Spanish] Donde esta la biblioteca? Which literally translates to 'I don't bargain, pumpkin-fucker'.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: spanish, biblioteca, fucker, pumpkin-fucker
“[after the X-Force team was killed off accidentally in a series of mishaps] Good news and bad news. Bad news is the whole team is dead. The good news is I don't think anyone is gonna miss Shatterstar. He was a bit of a prick.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Prick, Good News, Bad News
“[while going around the X-Mansion using Professor X's wheelchair] All these elderly white men on the walls. Should have brought my rape whistle.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Ageism, Anti-White, Anti-Male, rape whistle
“Is it just me or does 'Do You Wanna Build a Snowman' from Frozen sound suspiciously like 'Papa, Can You Hear Me?' from Yentl? [singing] 'Papa, can you hear me?' [starts speaking again] And nobody fucking realizes it.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: frozen, Yentl, Fucking
“[narrating while executing Russian criminals] My world tour brought me home to this guy: Sergei Valishnikov, but we'll get to him in a moment. 'cause I know what you're thinking: 'I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home.' But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every good family film starts with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7. [a guy on fire runs around screaming] Holy shit-pickles! That guy's on fire! That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire. Yeah.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: babysitter, high as fuck, The Lion King, Saw 7, Bambi, CGI
“[narrating after attempting suicide by blowing himself up] Fuck Wolverine. First he rides my coattails with the R-rating, and then, that hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying. What a dick. Well, guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too.”
— Wade Wilson / Deadpool / Juggernaut (voice), Deadpool 2
Tagged: Motherfucker, dick, r-rating, wolverine
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