I’m not like, some like, fifties Letterman who pins a girl. I mean, yeah, we blow each other sometimes. But it’s not a thing. I just like, I don’t know. I don’t believe in possession, chowfeel.
Catalog
Movie
21 Jump Street
In high school, Schmidt was a dork and Jenko was the popular jock. After graduation, both of them joined the police force and ended up as partners riding bicycles in the city park. Since they are young and look like high school students, they are assigned
If any of my officers are caught giving alcohol to minors, they’ll find themselves in prison with a snorkel duct taped to their mouth, and me shitting down that snorkel!
I don’t like when guys are mean to girls.
— Michael Bacall, Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, Jonah Hill, imdb.com
Liking comic books is popular, environmental awareness, being tolerant. If I was just born ten years later, I would have been the coolest person ever.
— Michael Bacall, Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, Jonah Hill, imdb.com
Korean Jesus, I just really don’t want to fuck this up. I’m sorry for swearing so much. The end? I don’t really know how to end a prayer. The end? Yeah.
— Michael Bacall, Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, Jonah Hill, imdb.com
They’re teenagers, man. They’re really stupid, so you should blend right in.
Fortunately for you two, we’re reviving a canceled undercover police program from the eighties, and revamping it for modern times. You see the guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity and are completely out of ideas. So all they do now is recycle shit from the past and expect us all not to notic…
You ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfucker?
— Michael Bacall, Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, Channing Tatum, imdb.com
You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it.
Sir, if I have to suck someone's dick... I will but I prefer not to.
— Michael Bacall, Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, Jonah Hill, imdb.com
You don't care about the environment? That's fucked up, man!
One, don't try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three, be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-ass car.
— Michael Bacall, Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, Channing Tatum, imdb.com
I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the face away from a nervous breakdown.
I know what you're thinking: angry, black captain. Well guess what? I'm black, and I worked my ASS off to be the captain. And sometimes, I get a little angry, so suck a dick!
You know what they do to handsome guy like me in prison. It Rhymes with GRAPE. It Rhymes with grape.
When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say 'shut the fuck up,' I'm talking to you.
Chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?
— Michael Bacall, Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, Channing Tatum, imdb.com
Captain Dickson: He's white, that means people actually give shit. Schmidt: Um, I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black.
One particle of unobtainium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor - carry the '2' - changing its atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider. Fuck you, Science!
— Michael Bacall, Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, Channing Tatum, imdb.com
Hey, hey! Stop fuckin' with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for yo problems, he's busy wit Korean shit!