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21 Jump Street Quotes

“I’m not like, some like, fifties Letterman who pins a girl. I mean, yeah, we blow each other sometimes. But it’s not a thing. I just like, I don’t know. I don’t believe in possession, chowfeel.”
— Eric Molson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Casual Sex, Casual Relationship
“If any of my officers are caught giving alcohol to minors, they’ll find themselves in prison with a snorkel duct taped to their mouth, and me shitting down that snorkel!”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Minors, underage drinking
“I don’t like when guys are mean to girls.”
— Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Guys, Girls
“Liking comic books is popular, environmental awareness, being tolerant. If I was just born ten years later, I would have been the coolest person ever.”
— Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Popularity, Protect The Environment
“Korean Jesus, I just really don’t want to fuck this up. I’m sorry for swearing so much. The end? I don’t really know how to end a prayer. The end? Yeah.”
— Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: prayer, Cursing
“They’re teenagers, man. They’re really stupid, so you should blend right in.”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: teenagers, Stupid
“Fortunately for you two, we’re reviving a canceled undercover police program from the eighties, and revamping it for modern times. You see the guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity and are completely out of ideas. So all they do now is recycle shit from the past and expect us all not to notice.”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Movie Remake, Breaking The Fourth Wall
“You ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfucker?”
— Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: badass, boasting
“ You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it.”
— Mr. Gordon, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Achievements, Try Your Best
“You don't care about the environment? That's fucked up, man!”
— Eric Molson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: environment, Nature
“Sir, if I have to suck someone's dick... I will but I prefer not to.”
— Officer Morton Schmidt / Doug McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Oral Sex, SMD
“One, don't try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three, be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-ass car.”
— Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Popularity, high school
“I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the face away from a nervous breakdown.”
— Principal Dadier, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Black, gay
“ I know what you're thinking: angry, black captain. Well guess what? I'm black, and I worked my ASS off to be the captain. And sometimes, I get a little angry, so suck a dick!”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Black, Police
“You know what they do to handsome guy like me in prison. It Rhymes with GRAPE. It Rhymes with grape.”
— Eric Molson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Rape, Prison
“When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say 'shut the fuck up,' I'm talking to you.”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: shut up, insults
“Chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?”
— Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: chemistry, Shapes
“Captain Dickson: He's white, that means people actually give shit.

Schmidt: Um, I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black.”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Black, white
“One particle of unobtainium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor - carry the '2' - changing its atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider. Fuck you, Science!”
— Officer Greg Jenko / Brad McQuaid, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Science, Back To The Future
“Hey, hey! Stop fuckin' with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for yo problems, he's busy wit Korean shit!”
— Captain Dickson, 21 Jump Street
Tagged: Korea, jesus
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