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The Sopranos Quotes

“Hi, my name is J.T., I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I'm also a TV writer, which by default makes me a douchebag.”
— J.T. Dolan, The Sopranos, Season 5: In Camelot
Tagged: Alcoholic, TV Writer, douchebag
“Silvio Dante: [A series of phone conversations] Adriana got caught givin' the big guy a blowjob.

Bobby Baccilieri: And when the paramedics found them, she had his cock still in her mouth.

Hesh Rabkin: Now, statistics show that most single-car fatalities are the result of guys poppin' their load behind the wheel.

Uncle Junior: Apparently, he came all over the sun visor.”
— Silvio Dante, The Sopranos, Season 5: Irregular Around the Margins
Tagged: blowjob, Fatalities
“They're gonna find this piece o' shit in a trunk someday.”
— Gigi Cestone, The Sopranos, Season 3: University
Tagged: Shit, Death Threat
“Paulie Walnuts: Amazing thing about snakes is that they reproduce spontaneously.

Tony Soprano: What do you mean?

Paulie Walnuts: They have both male and female sex organs. That’s why somebody you don’t trust you call a snake. How can you trust a guy who can literally go fuck themselves?

Tony Soprano: Don’t you think that expression would’ve come from the Adam and Eve story? When the snake tempted Eve to bite the apple?

Paulie Walnuts: Hey, snakes were fucking themselves long before Adam and Eve showed up, T.”
— Paulie Walnuts, The Sopranos, Season 3: The Telltale Moozadell
Tagged: Snakes, Reproduction, Adam And Eve
“Maybe the fact that you stick your dick into anything with a pulse...you ever thought of exploring that as a root cause?”
— Carmela Soprano, The Sopranos, Season 3: Another Toothpick
Tagged: dick, Manwhore, Promiscuity
“Jesus fuckin' Christ. How come every piss I take is a fuckin' news story?”
— Tony Soprano, The Sopranos, Season 2: Big Girls Don't Cry
Tagged: Paranoia, tabloid news, publicity
“She's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.”
— Silvio Dante, The Sopranos, Season 3: Employee of the Month
Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's the one thing, every woman, your mother, your wife, your daughter, have in common?

Tony Soprano: They all break my balls.”
— Tony Soprano, The Sopranos, The Sopranos Season 1: Pax Soprana
Tagged: ball breaker, Women, Misogyny, Wife, Daughter, mother
“Clipping a famous rat would put me a cunt hair away from being made.”
— Christopher Moltisanti, The Sopranos, The Sopranos Season 1: College
Tagged: Cunt hair, Made Man, Mafia Hit Man
“Tony Soprano: Like Popeye says, I yam what I yam.

Carmela Soprano: Well, I didn't marry a cartoon character.”
— Tony Soprano, The Sopranos, Season 5: Long Term Parking
Tagged: Popeye, Cartoon Characters
“You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?”
— Christopher Moltisanti, The Sopranos, Season 6: Members Only
Tagged: Lou Gehrig, ALS, Coincidences
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