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Shameless Quotes

“I always fantasized about having enough money to stock up on toilet paper.”
— Fiona Gallagher, Shameless, Season 9: Are you there Shim? It’s me, Ian.
Tagged: poor, Being Poor
“Thank God, I'm great at sex.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 9: Are you there Shim? It’s me, Ian.
Tagged: Sex, Being Great at Sex
“Expenses? Alcohol and drugs is non-negotiable.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: Church of Gay Jesus
Tagged: Drugs, Alcohol
“Revolutions don't come wrapped in a cute ribbon. You want to bring down power structures? You want to get in the face of people who are peddling corroded ideals? You need a uniform that screams authenticity.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: Church of Gay Jesus
Tagged: Revolutions
“I'm home! I'm home! Overweight minimum wage workers buying discount laundry detergent! I have missed you so much! God bless America! God bless America!”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: The Fugees
Tagged: America!
“They tell you that Jesus had all these messed-up ideas, but the truth is that you fucking girls is exactly what Jesus wants you to do, because that's love and Jesus is love. You know, most of the assholes are closeted gays anyway. They wish they were as free as you. ”
— Ian Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: The Fugees
Tagged: Homophobia, Gay Therapy Conversion, Jesus Is Love
“When my son looks at me, I wanna see that same twinkle. And not from being stoned. That's more of a glaze.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: Fuck Paying It Forward
Tagged: Stoned Parents, Drugs
“That girl you brought into our house bit off a dick!”
— Fiona Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: The
Tagged: Biting Off Dicks
“You see, this is the point I'm making with the liberal elite. In the war between the have-nots and the have-everything's, their guilt is our ammunition. Never forget that.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: The
Tagged: Liberalism, Limousine Liberals
“I forgive you for everything you've done. For stealing my dad's car and driving it into Lake Michigan. For not telling me when you cut that batch of coke with just a touch of Drano. I forgive you for promising me to that drug dealer in exchange for crystal meth. I forgive you for dragging me three blocks with the car.”
— Monica Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: Happily Ever After
Tagged: True Love, Funny Forgiveness
“I prefer the hands yanking my Johnson to be soft, petite, and wearing nail polish.”
— Phillip 'Lip' Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: Requiem for a Slut
Tagged: Handjobs
“You are not gonna hand a pound of meth to a six-year-old.”
— Fiona Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: Requiem for a Slut
Tagged: Crystal Meth, Giving Meth To Young People
“You're my best friend and the best fuck I ever had.”
— Monica Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: Happily Ever After
Tagged: Lovers
“Why was the broom late for the meeting? It overswept.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: Ouroboros
Tagged: Jokes, Word Play, Brooms
“I got no clean drawers, and my junk hasn't been lady-touched in a week.”
— Kevin 'Kev' Ball, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: Ouroboros
Tagged: Lonely Man
“I was raised by a con artist, so I know one when I see one.”
— Fiona Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: You Sold Me the Laundromat, Remember?
Tagged: Con Artists
“Look, it was fun while it lasted, but it stopped being fun right around the time she started fucking her fake father with the scary tattoos in our bed.”
— Kevin 'Kev' Ball, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: You Sold Me the Laundromat, Remember?
Tagged: Not So Common Relationship Problems
“Daddy Frank, you are a serious badass and an essential member of this family.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: You Sold Me the Laundromat, Remember?
“I just thought squirting was a myth, like unicorns or moderate Republicans. ”
— Phillip 'Lip' Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: The Defenestration of Frank
Tagged: Female Ejaculation, Sex
“Fuck mortgage-backed security. Fuck bailouts. Fuck too big to fail. It's time we get a piece of the action.”
— Phillip 'Lip' Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: The Defenestration of Frank
Tagged: Too Big Too Fail, Working Class Anger
“I'm washing dishes, and Carl's got a scholarship. The world's upside-down.”
— Phillip 'Lip' Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 7: The Defenestration of Frank
Tagged: Upside Down World
“Life throws challenges at us to see what we're made of, right? Yeah, apparently, I'm made of bourbon and blow.”
— Robbie Pratt, Shameless, Shameless Season 4: Like Father, Like Daughter
Tagged: Drugs, Alcohol Abuse
“We have a moral duty to rip this asshole off.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Season 8: Sleepwalking
Tagged: Assholes, Jerks
“Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.”
— Sarah Cleary, Shameless, Shameless Season 6: Refugees
Tagged: Risk, vulnerability
“Just because we were born here, doesn’t mean that we end up here.”
— Amanda Milkovich, Shameless, Shameless Season 6: A Yurt of One's Own
Tagged: opportunities, chances, Childhood
“Sometimes we get so wrapped up in getting what we want, that we forget to ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place.”
— Ian Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 3: El Gran Canon
Tagged: Wants, Needs
“Pretty soon, there's not gonna be any Jew or Aryan or Hindu or Muslim or Mexican or Blacks. There's just gonna be the rich and the fucked, and our grandson is already one of the fucked.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 6: Pimp's Paradise
Tagged: Race, Wealth, The Rich Get Richer, Identity
“You get roofies, I Google waterboarding.”
— Debbie Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 5: Drugs Actually
Tagged: Torture, Waterboarding, Hurting Someone
“I call this beer, Milk Of The Gods.”
— Frank Gallagher, Shameless, Shameless Season 5: I'm the Liver
Tagged: Beer, In Praise of Beer, Beer Rocks, Hops, Alcohol
“You're needy and annoying. And slutty, and a bad mother.”
— Sheila Jackson, Shameless, Shameless Season 5: I'm the Liver
Tagged: insults, Bad Mothers
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