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Rick and Morty Quotes

“Your parents are a bag of dicks.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Childrick of Mort
Tagged: Parents, lame, metaphor example
“If I die, don't eat my ass that'd be weird.”
— Summer Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 4: Childrick of Mort
Tagged: Death, Cannibal, Weird
“Camping is just being homeless without the change.”
— Summer Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 4: Childrick of Mort
Tagged: camping, homeless, Change, Sassy
“Isn't it obvious Morty? I fucked a planet.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Childrick of Mort
Tagged: planet, Sex, obvious
“I wasn't born into the God business, I fucking earned it.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Rattlestar Ricklactica
Tagged: Business, Work Hard, earned it
“Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: One Crew Over the Crewcoo's Morty
Tagged: Stealing, Theft, Lesson
“Must... continue... moving... in... ways... that... lead... to... dying... with... you.”
— Morty Smith, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Edge of Tomorty
Tagged: Lead, Dying
“There's a lesson here and I'm not going to be the one to figure it out.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Edge of Tomorty
Tagged: Lesson, figure it out, Thought
“Morty, you know outer space is up right? ”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Edge of Tomorty
Tagged: Outer Space, Space, Sassy
“Can somebody just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: A Rickle in Time
Tagged: Bets, Lose A Bet, Death, Cage
“Ooh yeah, shame me. At least when I'm disgusting it's on purpose.”
— Summer Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Total Rickall
“Morty: You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?

Rick: Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.”
— Rick Sanchez / Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Mortynight Run
“[addressing Rick] You and Unity are like... like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you're great together, but you're just bringing out the worst in each other.”
— Summer Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Auto Erotic Assimilation
“Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity. They're no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy. They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful. And then, because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful. Never gonna happen though, right?”
— Rick Sanchez / Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Auto Erotic Assimilation
Tagged: Dating, Power, empowerment
“Morty: Uhm, should we maybe stop somewhere and get you a coffee? Maybe splash a little water on your face, or...?

Unity: No, no. If I wanted to be sober, I wouldn't have gotten drunk.”
— Unity, Rick and Morty, Season 2: Auto Erotic Assimilation
“Listen, Jerry, I don’t want to overstep my bounds or anything. It’s your house. It’s your world. You’re a real Julius Caesar, but I’ll tell you some, tell you how-how I feel about school, Jerry. It’s a waste of time, a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, “two plus two.” The people in the back say, “four.” Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can take a dump or something. I mean, it’s—it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry, and I know that’s not a popular opinion, but it’s my two cents on the issue.”
— Rick Sanchez / Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Pilot
“Rick: When's the last time you got laid, 'pers?

Birdperson: It has been a... challenging mating season for Birdperson.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business
Tagged: Laid, Mating, Mating Season, Challenging
“Come on, flip the pickle, Morty. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge. I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal! I'm a pickle! What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: Pickle Rick
Tagged: Pickle, surprise, Transformation, Science
“Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.”
— Mr. Meeseeks, Rick and Morty, Season 1: Meeseeks and Destroy
“I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Meeseeks and Destroy
Tagged: Fart, Adventure, Failure
“I masturbated to an extra curvy piece of driftwood the other day!”
— Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: The Ricks Must Be Crazy
Tagged: masturbate, Driftwood, teenager
“I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!”
— Mr. Meeseeks, Rick and Morty, Season 1: Meeseeks and Destroy
Tagged: introduction, hello, Look At Me
“My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government's lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus wasn't born on Christmas! They moved the date, it was a pagan holiday!”
— Morty Jr., Rick and Morty, Season 1: Raising Gazorpazorp
Tagged: Life, Government, Thanksgiving, Truths, Conspiracy
“An-and I-I-I'll go out and I'll find some more of that Mulan Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty! Th-b-because that's what this is all about, Morty! Th-that's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce! I want that Mulan McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget... dipping sauce Szechuan sauce, Morty! That's what's gon-it's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty!”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Rickshank Redemption
Tagged: McNuggets, Obsessed, Ending
“'I took your family'? Who do you think had taken more from them when you shot 20 CCs of liquid dreamkiller into my daughter? She was Rick's daughter, Jerry! She had options! That all ended because she felt sorry for you. You act like prey, but you're a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive! I survive cause I know everything, that snake survives because children wander off, and you survive 'cause people think 'Ooh, this poor piece of shit, he never gets a break! I can't stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul! I guess I'll hire him or marry him!'”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy
Tagged: Roast, mean, Marriage, Son-In-Law, Victims, Snakes, Fatherhood
“Mr. Beauregard: Ah, Master Rick, remember when you weren't going to shoot me?

Rick: [shoots Mr. Beauregard in the face] I guess Iiii did the butler! Hahaaa! Does that, does that scan?

Ghost in a Jar: Oh, I-I get it. It's a play on 'the butler did it.'

Rick: Thanks Ghost in a Jar. You always were good at pointing out potentially obscure comedy.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Total Rickall
Tagged: butler, Word Play, comedy, shoot, Obscure
“Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen—I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: A Rickle in Time
Tagged: Siblings, Shit, Pieces of Shit, Math, Whiteboard, Favorite
“That's right, baby. A lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population. I'll take the highest bidder—Al-Qaeda, North Korea, Republicans, shriners, balding men that work out, people on the Internet that are only turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers. Anything is better than working for you, you pompous, negligent, iTunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday bonus-giving mother—”
— Poncho, Rick and Morty, Season 1: Anatomy Park
Tagged: Revenge, Hatred, Pompous, Decimate
“Rubber baby bubby bunkers!”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Total Rickall
Tagged: Catchphrase
“Right, yeah, like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever hear about Wall Street, Morty? Y-Y-Y'know what those guys do i-in-in their fancy boardrooms? They take their balls and they dip 'em in cocaine and wipe 'em all over each other—y'know, Grandpa goes around and he does his business in public, because Grandpa isn't shady.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Mortynight Run
Tagged: Wall Street, shady, public, Office, Garage, Work
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