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Jersey Shore Quotes

“The Snook... is out.”
— Nicole Snooki Polizzi, Jersey Shore, Season 1: That's How The Shore Goes
Tagged: Leaving, is out, Nickname
“Down here at the Shore, one minute you've got three girls in the jacuzzi, the next minute somebody's in jail and you have to bail them out. That's what happens down at the Shore.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: That's How The Shore Goes
Tagged: Shore, Jacuzzi, Jail, bail them out
“This whole summer has been pretty wild, pretty crazy. Lots of fights. Lots of hookups. Lots of drama.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: That's How The Shore Goes
Tagged: Summer, Wild, crazy fights, hookups, Drama
“Snooki's outfit is crazy. She looks like a birthday cake.”
— Vinny Guadagnino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: One Shot
Tagged: outfit, crazy, Birthday Cake, Simile Examples
“ I hate guys. I should be a fucking lesbian.”
— Nicole Snooki Polizzi, Jersey Shore, Season 1: That's How The Shore Goes
Tagged: upset, Men, Sex, Relationships
“It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me and that's obvious. It goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: One Shot
Tagged: obvious, prehistoric, Kindergarten, Crush
“Yo, Pauly D has a little situation on his hands. She's definitely a stage 5 clinger.”
— Vinny Guadagnino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: One Shot
Tagged: situation, Clingy, stage five clinger
“Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi: Can I have a roll, please?

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino: Don't worry, you got a couple.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: What Happens In AC
Tagged: roll, fat rolls, fat
“G.T.L, baby! Gym, tan, laundry!”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Boardwalk Blowups
Tagged: gym, Tan, Laundry
“I would give her dick and bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick and a pack of bubblegum and say; chew on this.”
— Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Just Another Day at the Shore
Tagged: penis, bubblegum, Pictures, sexting, chew on this
“She called Snickers fat and that, like, triggered me... umm, so I threw my drink in her face.”
— Jenni Farley, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Just Another Day at the Shore
Tagged: snickers, fat, triggered, threw my drink, Rude
“I look over and I see, like, hair being pulled and all this shit. I was like; oh my God. How do I get in?”
— Nicole Snooki Polizzi, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Just Another Day at the Shore
Tagged: hair pulled, Oh My God, get in, interested
“I'm not touching one dish because I cooked a crazy meal and she's got the nerve to tell me to clean my plate. You know what? You are excluded from dinner then. From now on, you're excluded from surf and turf night. You're excluded from ravioli night. You're excluded from chicken cutlet night.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Just Another Day at the Shore
Tagged: cleaning dishes, Cooking, clean your plate, Dinner, exclusion
“Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point.”
— Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Fade to Black
Tagged: bang, gatorade, Sex, Pulse
“And then I hear her girlfriend, like, standing over me like; what are you doing... under the covers? I was just like; oh wow! I was like; what is going on right now?”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Fade to Black
Tagged: Girlfriend, under the covers, flustered
“At first, I was all about, like, I'm not going to shit where I sleep. But, I mean, for her I would roll around in my shit all day to be honest with you.”
— Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Good Riddance
Tagged: Love, Sex, shit where you sleep
“ I told Pauly D to start the grill and he puts charcoal in a gas grill, then he asks me to light it and we were this close to pretty much blowing up the house.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: Good Riddance
Tagged: grill, charcoal, Gas, blowing up, Fire
“I'm the smallest guy here. Fuck!”
— Vinny Guadagnino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: A New Family
Tagged: smallest guy, short, tiny
“My only rule; never fall in love at the Jersey Shore. Never, ever, ever.”
— Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Jersey Shore, Season 1: A New Family
Tagged: rule, Love, Fall in love, never
“If you don't know me then you hate me and you wish you were me.”
— Jenni Farley, Jersey Shore, Season 1: A New Family
Tagged: Hate, Jealous, Wish
“My abs are so ripped up, it's called; the Situation.”
— Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, Jersey Shore, Season 1: A New Family
Tagged: abs, situation, ripped, Working Out
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