1. Home
    2.  › 
  2. TV Quotes
    3.  › 
  3. Drake & Josh

Drake & Josh Quotes

“Josh: Drake?

Drake: Yeah?

Josh: You just met her and you're already kissing?

Drake: I gave her a soda.”
— Josh Nichols & Drake Parker, Drake & Josh, Season 3: Helen's Surgery
“Drake: You're kind of a girl, right?

Mindy: Well, if I'm not, then I've been buying the wrong underwear!”
— Drake Parker & Mindy Crenshaw, Drake & Josh, Season 3: Playing the Field
“Drake: [talking about the Gary Coleman grills] I'm telling you, we didn't steal the grills.

FBI Agent: It was reported that two Caucasian males stole the grills from a factory truck.

Drake: See! We're not Caucasian, we're white guys!”
— Drake Parker, Drake & Josh, Season 2: The Gary Grill
“[Megan has put a bucket full of water over Drake and Josh's bedroom door, and it falls on Ashley Blake]

Josh: Megan! Why was there a bucket on top of our door?

Megan: Why was your door under my bucket?”
— Josh Nichols & Megan Parker, Drake & Josh, Season 2: Little Diva
“Mr. Nichols: [needing a last minute birthday gift for Audrey] Uh, get her some toothpaste. She's always using toothpaste!

Josh Nichols: Dad, there's two-hundred dollars here.

Mr. Nichols: Well, get her some mouthwash, too! I'M JUST A MAN!”
— Walter Nichols & Josh Nichols, Drake & Josh, Season 2: Pool Shark
“Drake, be a dear and take my stuff upstairs. And while you're at it, unpack my stuff. And make sure you put my thongs in order by color!”
— Grammy (voice), Drake & Josh, Season 1: Grammy
“Scottie: [after the band got arrested for having fake tickets to a concert] I'm telling you, the tickets aren't fake!

Drake: Are you sure?

Scottie: Yeah, I mean I photocopied them myself!

Rina: Scottie, you can't photocopy tickets!

Scottie: Yes, you can. You just put the tickets on the glass and close the lid thingy. Any moron can do it!

Drake : No, Scottie, not just any moron. It takes a special moron, like you!”
— Scottie / Drake Parker / Rina, Drake & Josh, Season 1: Grammy
“[talking to Josh about his crush] Good Luck with Kathy. Remember, she's just a person. I mean, girls are just guys without... just do good.”
— Drake Parker, Drake & Josh, Season 1: First Crush
“Josh: [walking away from Susan] I think we handled that very maturely.

Drake Parker: That felt good.

[Susan opens her locker and gets blasted with purple paint]

Drake: [sees Susan covered in paint; turns to Josh] That felt better.

Josh: Yeah, it did!”
— Josh Nichols & Drake Parker (voice), Drake & Josh, Season 1: Believe Me, Brother
“You didn't get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”
— Drake Parker, Drake & Josh, Season 1: Dune Buggy
loading next page...