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Daria Quotes

“I can't get the phrase, 'damn idiot teachers with their damn idiot brains,' out of my head.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 5: The Story of D
Tagged: idiots, Teachers, Brain, Frustration
“I know! Like Tiffany would ever date someone who wore a tweed jacket.”
— Quinn Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 5: Lucky Strike
Tagged: Tweed, Diss, Date, Standards
“Jake: Hey, look at this one! 'Kick-ass I-startup, superjazzed about expansion, seeks visionary dot-com expert for media leadership position.' Where do I sign up?!


Helen: Jake, you don't know a thing about the Internet.”
— Jake Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 5: Sappy Anniversary
Tagged: Jobs, Start Up, Application, Leadership, Internet
“Quinn: Oh my gosh! If I hadn't gotten up at just that second, that would've hit my head.

Daria: Or, something vital.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 4: Groped by an Angel
Tagged: Sassy, Injury, Head, vital
“Quinn: Eww! You're not really gonna eat all that fat, are you?

Daria: No, I'm going to stick it in my boots 'cause I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 4: Fire!
Tagged: fat, Eat, Squish, Boots, Gross, Toes, Sassy
“Why, oh why can't she just have a substance abuse problem like a normal mom?”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 4: The 'F' Word
Tagged: Substance Abuse, normal, Mom
“Tiffany: I can't believe the t-shirts that shop tried to give us.

Sandi Griffin: Really. The homeless have suffered enough, don't make them wear a cotton/poly blend too!”
— Tiffany Blum-Deckler (voice), Daria, Season 3: The Old and the Beautiful
Tagged: tshirts, homeless, cotton, Sassy
“Helen: You gloss over everything with a cynical joke and no one knows what you really believe in.

Daria: A-ha. So my evil plan is working.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 2: Write Where it Hurts
Tagged: Cynical Joke, Evil Plan, Belief
“'Thin Thighs For Your Man.' But I don't like men with thin thighs.”
— Daria Morgendorffer, Daria, Season 2: See Jane Run
Tagged: thighs, thin, Man, Attractive
“I am not going to pierce my bellybutton. It never did anything to me.”
— Daria Morgendorffer, Daria, Season 2: Pierce Me
Tagged: Belly Button, Pierce, Pain
“Brittany Taylor: The Telltale Heart? I LOVE romance novels!

Daria: Yeah, nothing says 'Be Mine' like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard.”
— Daria Morgendorffer, Daria, Season 2: Gifted
Tagged: Romantic Novels, Be Mine, heart, Edgar Allen Poe, Sassy
“Quinn: Daria, you can't leave me here with those, those yuppies.

Daria: Yuppies are from the '80s.

Quinn: So what do you call people with funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff?

Daria: Trekkies.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 2: That Was Then, This is Dumb
Tagged: Yuppies, Funny Outfits, Peace, Love, Trekkies
“Daria: You tried to buy my influence with a date?

Quinn: Well, that's how we do it in America, comrade.”
— Quinn Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 2: The New Kid
Tagged: influence, Date, America, Comrade
“Jane: She's cute, there are different standards for cute people.

Daria: You mean no standards.”
— Jane Lane (voice), Daria, Season 2: Quinn the Brain
Tagged: Standards, Cute, Cute People, No Standards
“Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 2: Quinn the Brain
Tagged: shallow, Depth, thorough
“I can't shoot my own mother. Not with paint, anyway.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 2: The Daria Hunter
Tagged: mother, paint, shoot, Gun
“Mr. Anthony DeMartino: And why are we going to engage in simulated combat? Daria.

Daria: Because no high school education is complete until you've chased your fellow students around the woods with toy guns?”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 2: The Daria Hunter
Tagged: high school, Education, Combat, Students, Guns
“I don't like it when I say people should die and then they do. I don't want that kind of responsibility. At least not until I've got a job in middle management.”
— Jane Lane (voice), Daria, Season 1: The Misery Chick
Tagged: Die, Death, Responsibility, Job, Middle Management
“Dammit! It's my turn to say Dammit!”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: The Teachings of Don Jake
Tagged: Dammit, Timing, My Turn
“Trent: Daria, do you ever feel like you are wasting your life?

Daria: Only when I'm awake.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: Road Worrier
Tagged: Wasting Your Life, Awake, Napping
“Jane: So, basically, you've convinced them that you were too dull to be worth grounding.

Daria: Exactly, and the sad thing is, it's kinda true.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: The Big House
Tagged: dull, Grounding, Sad thing
“I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special.”
— Jane Lane (voice), Daria, Season 1: Esteemsters
Tagged: Special, unique, Low Self Esteem
“Daria: It smells like... like...

Jane: Teen spirit?”
— Jane Lane (voice), Daria, Season 1: Malled
Tagged: Smells, Teen Spirit, Nirvana
“And the dish ran away with the spoon. But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize the marriage as legal.”
— Jane Lane (voice), Daria, Season 1: Pinch Sitter
Tagged: Spoon, Legal, Marriage, Hawaii
“Brittany: If you think you're going to take Kevin away from me, you're wrong. Because he's my Kevin, and you're, you're a... a brain!

Daria: You know, Brittany, that was actually a very astute observation about the likelihood of my dating your boyfriend.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: The Lab Brats
Tagged: Boyfriend, Jealousy, Brain, Lab Partner, Dating, Sassy
“We are now entering Hell. Please keep your hands and elbows inside the car.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: Malled
Tagged: Hell, hands, Elbows, Saftey
“Mr. Timothy O'Neill: Right here and now, let's pledge to make Daria's dream a reality!

Daria: You mean... the one where people walking down the street burst into flames?”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: Cafe Disaffecto
Tagged: Dream, Dream Into Reality, Burst Into Flames
“Yeah. I'm tired of being at a school where the kids just think they're cooler than me. I want to go to one where they're smarter than me also.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: College Bored
Tagged: School, Cooler, Smarter
“Brittany: Hey, even though I'm much more popular, we have some things in common.

Daria: Breathing?”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: The Invitation
Tagged: Popular, Sassy, breathing, Things In Common
“Daria: So what do they talk to the guys about?

Jane: Room full of guys and a male teacher.

Daria, Jane: Nocturnal emission.”
— Daria Morgendorffer (voice), Daria, Season 1: Esteemsters
Tagged: Guys, Men, Masculinity, Nocturnal emissions
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