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Triipper Harrison Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Kids are starving in India and you're walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Starvation, India, sombrero, Peanuts
“Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed ‘some kind of beef.’”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: veal, Beef, Mystery Meat
“[entering party] Alright, virgins to the left, non-virgins to the right. [to Crocket and Wheels] You guys split 'em up however you want.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Virgins
“Important announcement—some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you're hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Hunters, Hunting Humans
“Mmmmm. Look at all those steaming wieners. Do you know what they're saying? They're saying, ‘This is the year that Fink beats 'The Stomach'. [Fink picks up a hot dog and holds it to his ear] No, it's a couple of them over here... but they're saying it.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Hot Dogs, Anthropomorphism
“Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And six-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE A MENACE!”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: campers, Lobsters, tadpoles, trout, herring, IQ
“Rudy: I saw you dancing with Roxanne.

Tripper: Oh yeah? Well, she sorta cornered me and there was nothing I could do without embarrassing her.

Rudy: Do you like her?

Tripper: Well I feel sorry for her, you know. She's got a glass eye. And, uh, I'm one of the few people who knows exactly which eye to look at when they're talking to her, so she's sort of fixated on me.

Rudy: Well, I like her.

Tripper: Well you're not exactly known for your taste. I'll probably just use her for the rest of the summer and then throw her on the scrap heap with all the rest of the women that I've destroyed.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Dancing, player
“Wendy: Tripper, I'm looking forward to some action this summer. I hope you can supply it.

Tripper: I'll supply it for you, but the guy you gotta watch out for is Spaz!

Wendy: Spaz?

Tripper: He's a sex machine.

Wendy: He couldn't wake me up with a trumpet and a drum!

Tripper: Well I went out with him one night and he got off six nurses by himself, and four of them couldn't report to work the next morning!”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: sex machine, priapism
“But, the real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness Week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness Week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Hookers, Sexual Awareness Week, rape and pillage
“Tripper: And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good-looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!

Rest of Group: IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER...”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: God in Heaven, Money
“Tripper: I'm takin' the C.I.T.s on an overnight for the next couple days so you're gonna have to do your own training, son. I want you to run two miles today and two and a half tomorrow.

Rudy: I've never run that far.

Tripper: Neither have I but somebody's gotta do it. I can't be expected to do it. Somebody's gotta do it, and it can't be me. Because I'm too busy. I've responsibilities. I'm the entertainment director for the overnight.

[Holds up a bottle of wine]”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Training, Responsibilities
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