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Tom Kapinos Quotes

Total quotes: 34
“I impulse remarried a depraved lunatic who can't even get it up for me.”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Cokey Smurf, Marriage
“Gotta keep it simple, motherfucker. Gotta learn to walk before you run, man.”
— Ron Balls, Wolves
Tagged: Keep It Simple, Simplicity
“You wouldn't try to be making me a little bit jealous, if you weren't jealous yourself.”
— Floyd Mooney, Wolves
Tagged: jealously, Why We Make People Jealous
“We wanna knock people on their asses and we gotta give them a show. I'm talking like on stage or in clubs. The fans, they're dying for some anarchy. So let's give it to them.”
— Nikki Sixx, The Dirt
Tagged: Anarchy, showmanship
“You wanna continue just throwing noise at our culture? Do you wanna be a headline or an icon?”
— Ron Balls,
Tagged: Popular Culture, Cultural Noise, Being Famous
“When it rains, it jizzes all over our fucking faces, but that's why we are a couple of come-guzzling sluts, am I right? We chug it down.”
— Malcolm,
Tagged: When It Rains It Pours, Vulgar, Bad Day
“I have managed the Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, KISS. I had been dragged through the deepest shit with all kinds of mentally ill people. But I have never been through what Mötley Crüe put me through.”
— Doc McGhee, The Dirt
Tagged: scorpions, bon jovbi, skid row, kiss, Shit, mentally ill, motley crue
“I mean, we all have things that trigger our arousal, and if we just acknowledge them as normal and not deny them, then we could just move the fuck on with our lives!”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: sexuality, Why Is Sex Such A Big Deal?, Sex
“You can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her dreams. It’s not gentlemanly.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: California Son
Tagged: Californication
“I've been rich and famous for so long now that I don't think I know what it means to be a human being anymore.”
— Atticus Fetch, Californication, Californication Season 6: In the Clouds
Tagged: rich, Rockstars, Rich People Problems, Famous
“You're not like me. You're not a warrior. Listen, if we were members of the same tribe, I mean, I'd be out hunting and gathering. You'd be home with the women.”
— Richard Bates, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: insults
“You have got to get the toxins out, somehow, some way. It's the only thing that'll clear a man's head.”
— Stu Beggs, Doctor Who, Series 10: Smile
Tagged: Sex, Lizard Brain
“Everything is so fucking crazy right now. I don't feel like I can make the right move to save my life.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: 30 Minutes or Less
Tagged: Confusion, Crazy Life
“She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it up again and again and again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: Mistakes, Relationships & Dating, Sorry
“Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: Californication
“At the end of the day, it’s all about her. It’s always been about her.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: La Petite Mort
Tagged: Californication
“I can’t keep apologizing for something I can’t change. All I can do is keep moving forward and try to become someone that you can love again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Home Sweet Home
Tagged: Sorry, How To Say Your Sorry, How Many Times Can I Say I'm Sorry
“If you were gonna have sex with someone and you knew that it would be the absolute last time, what do you think it would be like?”
— Karen van der Beek, Californication, Californication Season 4: The Last Supper
Tagged: Sex, last time, Relationship Questions
“I thought we were a fucking fairy tale, but if you're careless with something long enough you know it breaks. And that's how I feel, broken, completely and utterly broken.”
— Karen van der Beek, Californication, Californication Season 4: The Last Supper
Tagged: broken, Relationship Struggles
“You do something nice for people — they take advantage of that shit over and over again.”
— Samurai Apocalypse, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: Being Kind, Taken Advantage Of
“I’m just like my father. You know, there isn’t a woman that I’ve met that I haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“She said one thing. I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“I guess we all have that someone somewhere.”
— Kali, Duality
Tagged: Lost Love, Waiting For That Person, Mr. Right
“Win it all, lose it all, we are Mötley Crüe.”
— Nikki Sixx, The Dirt
Tagged: Win, Lose, motley crue
“I'm like walking heroin, very habit forming. It never ends well.”
— Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Examples of Similes, Not A Good Idea To Engage With Me, Dangerous People, Toxic People
“Man, fuck them motherfuckers if they can't take a joke!”
— Tom Kapinos, White Famous, White Famous Season 1: Zero F**ks Given
Tagged: Jokes, No Sense of Humor
“Children are hideous little creatures. Terrible, taxing burdens.”
— Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: kids, Children, Why Parenthood Sucks
“A morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: Hell-A Woman
Tagged: One Night Stand, Casual Sex
“Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“Turns out it's really expensive to live in a hotel.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 4: Another Perfect Day
Tagged: Living In A Hotel, hotels
“You need boundaries. Sometimes you just need someone to say no, let's not do that because that is fucking sick. Otherwise, we'd all be running around with shit, piss, and blood all over our damn selves and shoving vibrators up our asses all day.”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 4: The Last Supper
Tagged: Sexual Limits, boundaries, Perverted
“Rehab is for quitters.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 1: California Son
Tagged: Californication
“I have squandered a lot of opportunities, it's true. I could give you a bunch of excuses. I could blame it on my masturbating agent or I could chalk it up to fear and self-loathing in Los Angeles, but the truth is that... I'm trying to grow the fuck up for once. You know, I'm on a quest to reclaim the best parts of myself before it's too fuckin' late.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Californication
“As a writer, I'm a sucker for happy endings. The guy gets the girl, she saves him from himself, fade to fucking black. As a guy who loves a girl, I realize there's no such thing. There's no sunset. There's just now, and there's just the two of us, which can be scary fucking ugly sometimes. But if you close your eyes and listen for the whisper of your heart—if you simply keep trying and never ever give up, no matter how many times you get it wrong, until the beginning and the end blur into something called until we meet again -- and that's it.”
— Hank Moody, Homeland, Season 1: Grace
Tagged: Californication
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