1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Selma Nemer

Selma Nemer Quotes

Total quotes: 10
“Daughters of narcissistic fathers learn rules by observing the relationship of the mother and father. Roles become unconsciously internalized.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Narcissistic Fathers, Parental Narcissism
“It is safer not to emit the essence of one's self, for this will be taken and burned. And so the spark of self goes into hiding.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Self Hibernation
“Beheaded goddesses, daughters of patriarchy, have a choice: give up or fight.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Patriarchy, feminism
“An integrated woman is powerful, erotic, insightful, and grounded, and this is too great a threat to a divided father-husband.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: powerful woman
“Yet abuse is attention, which habituates one to defeat and numbness.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Abuse, Numbness
“The father needs to affirm to the daughter his way of loving her. The acknowledgment can be in words or action but must be clear and not hidden; otherwise the message she receives is that she is unlovable or that love is something shameful, needing to be hidden.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Parenting, Fatherhood, Fathers and Daughters
“Each daughter of a narcissistic father experienced the need to perform, excel, care for others, and provide, never again to be vulnerable, where the libido experienced a lack of mirroring, absence and loss. Each daughter had to be better than her mother in order to be loved, but was not loved for herself, but rather only as she met the father's expectations and needs.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Narcissistic Fathers, Narcissistic Abuse
“The narcissistic father does well receiving adoration, but the giving process is incomplete; it lacks empathy from the father back to the daughter. The reflective function breaks down, and the father keeps the adoration for himself, to fill a void. The daughter remains unseen. Her function is to mirror the father, and any other seeing is betrayal.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
“A daughter of a narcissistic father unconsciously sacrifices her self, seething and stuffing the resentment. For years she may not even know she is angry, yet symptoms appear. The shell begins to crack; the veneer is thin. Her authentic wants and needs have never been experienced, so they cannot be voiced or heard. She is mute, alone, and this she hides even from herself.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Narcissistic Fathers, Narcissistic Abuse, Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
“Grandiosity, self-importance, and requiring admiration and compliance with his own expectations are the attributes of the narcissistic father. The narcissistic father is critical and perfectionistic to the point where no one can meet his standards. The father gives loyalty to those who hold the father in esteem. There are winners and losers; the winner reflects wants and desires of the father, and the loser is cut off and no longer exists.”
— Selma Nemer, The Beheaded Goddess: Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
Tagged: Narcissistic Fathers, Narcissistic Abuse
loading next page...