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Roy Munson Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Neighbor: Roy, can you get sick drinkin’ piss?

Roy: I think you can.

Neighbor: Even if it’s your own?”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Urine, Drinking Urine, Piss
“Ishmael: You been drinking, Mr. Munson?

Roy: I don’t puke when I drink. I puke when I don’t.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Drinking, puking
“The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn’t kickin’ mine.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Kick Ass
“Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don’t mow another guy’s lawn.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Piece of Shit, coveting thy neighbor's wife
“McKnight Bowl Bartender: So, you two are dictionary salesmen?

Roy: You would be punctilious in assuming that.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Dictionary, Punctilious
“That coffee wasn’t even hot. [takes a sip of coffee] Now, that’s hot.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Hot Coffee
“Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I’ll lose my entire bonus check because I’m so bombed.

McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?

Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Bowling, Sniffing Glue, Drunk, Bombing
“ESPN Announcer: So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years?

Roy: Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh...drinking. Lot a drinking.

ESPN Announcer: I see. Well, are you still drinking?

Roy: No. I uh...I put...uh...why, you buying?”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Alcoholism
“Roy: Just because you’re familiar with the missionary position doesn’t make you a missionary.

Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you’re not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.

Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: MIssionary Position, missionary
“Ishmael: You really should try to quit, Mr. Munson. They say it’s bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process.

Roy: Is that right? Who’s done more research on the subject than the good people at the American tobacco industry? They say it’s harmless. Why would they lie? If you’re dead, you can’t smoke.”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: smoking, Tobacco, Lungs, heart
“Roy: What about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the novelty machine in the men’s room? I mean, those are fun even when you’re alone.

Lancaster Bowl Manager: Yeah.

Roy: You get it?

Lancaster Bowl Manager: [impatiently, trying to read his Asian Brides magazine] Yeah!

Roy: This is like the hula hoop of the nineties. People go nuts!

Lancaster Bowl Manager: No! Look, we don’t even have a novelty machine in the men’s room anymore.

Roy: And you call this a bowling alley?”
— Roy Munson, Kingpin
Tagged: Bowling Alley, fluorescent condoms, Asian Brides, novelty machine
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