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Melissa Joan Hart Quotes

Total quotes: 32
“Roxie: Did you put in fresh batteries?

Sabrina: Yeah, I'm packing two Ds. And believe me, that's the first time I've ever said that.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: House of Pi's
Tagged: Raunchy, Irreverent, joke, Womanhood
“I just don’t get why they’re making us read 1984 when Orwell got so much wrong...”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Cat Showdown
Tagged: Literature, 1984, George Orwell, School, joke
“Annabelle: Who better to be my Maid of Honor than the person who fixed the rift between my Daddy and me?

Sabrina: Well, besides a sister, college roommate or lifelong friend, I can't think of anyone...”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 4: Salem's Daughter
Tagged: wedding, Marriage, Maid Of Honor, awkward, Friendship
“Sabrina: Hey, guys, having fun?

Roxie: I'm standing here with Miles, what do you think?

Miles: If this is the best party of all time, I'm glad I'm a social outcast.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: The Halloween Scene
Tagged: party, Outcast, Socially Awkward, Introvert, awkward, Bored, Relatable
“Roxie: If you're gonna date based on principle, your choices are the Pope or St. Francis of Assisi.

Sabrina: So I've got options.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Finally!
Tagged: Dating, Options, Principle, Francis of Assisi, Pope, joke, Relationships
“Jenny: This is such a great place! I mean, how many people have their own turret?

Sabrina: I don’t know, me and Rapunzel?”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Jenny's Non-Dream
Tagged: Rapunzel, witch, Castle, Turret, House, joke, Nervous
“A French dinosaur. I only wish this was the strangest thing I've ever encountered.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 3: Sabrina's Real World
Tagged: french, Dinosaur, joke, strange, Magic
“Zelda: So, I hear things are heating up between you and Derek.

Sabrina: Well, let's just say we could melt a glacier.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Some of My Best Friends are Half-Mortals
Tagged: Dating, Relationships, joke, Pun, Climate Change
“Salem: Hmm. I knew this day would come. Sabrina, it's time for the talk.

Sabrina: Most girls get it from their mothers, I get it from the cat.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Sabrina's Got Spirit
Tagged: the talk, Cat, Magic, Animals, joke
“Sabrina: Great! Great, great, great!

Hilda: That’s the spirit!

Sabrina:  I was being sarcastic! 

Hilda: So was I...”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Sabrina Through the Looking Glass
Tagged: Sarcasm, joke, upset, angry
“Sabrina: You know that love between two people is stronger than any legal document.

Gail: Yes. But as a lawyer, I’m not supposed to admit it...”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Meeting Dad's Girlfriend
Tagged: Love, Relationships, Lawyer, Legal Documents, Marriage, joke
“At the end of the day, the important thing to remember is that Aaron loves me, and I love Harvey.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Spellmanian Slip
Tagged: Love, Love Triangle, Relationships, Complicated
“Sabrina: So you're my prince...

Aaron: Not a prince, just a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: You Slay Me
Tagged: Prince, wedding, Royal, Love, sweet, Confession
“Oh, my gosh, Josh, this is fantastic! You're the greatest boyfriend in the universe. And I know, I've been out there.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 6: Hex, Lies & No Videotape
Tagged: Relationships, Love, Boyfriend, Universe, Magic, witch
“Josh: It's funny how you two became best friends. Didn't she hate you at first?

Sabrina: Roxie hates everybody at first. It's her way of reaching out to people.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 6: Cloud Ten
Tagged: Friendship, Hate, Enemy, Frenemies, awkward
“So what are you looking forward to most about being a Mu Pi? Doing your toenails with the other girls, or highlighting each other's hair?”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: House of Pi's
Tagged: Sororities, Girly, College, Making Fun, Impersonation
“Morgan: Why am I such an idiot? I keep fooling myself into thinking that one year I am actually going to have a normal Christmas.

Sabrina: Morgan, normal is relative.

Morgan: Yeah, too bad my relatives aren't normal.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Sabrina's Perfect Christmas
Tagged: Christmas, Holidays, Relatives, relative, Family
“Valerie: I was just invited to a party.

Sabrina: At seven o’clock?

Valerie: Well, I wasn’t exactly invited, but people saw me hear about it and didn’t warn me to keep away. D’ya wanna come?”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 2: A Doll's Story
Tagged: Teens, Youth, party, joke, Eavesdropping
“Zelda: What’s the matter?

Sabrina: I got an A+ in a really hard test and won a blue ribbon on my invention.

Zelda: ...Uh-huh. So, what’s the problem?

Sabrina: That! No one's excited!”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 3: And the Sabrina Goes To...
Tagged: award, Success, Excitement, Disappointment
“Shirley: I like her. I like her a lot. Even more than Brenda.

Sabrina: Thank you.  Who’s Brenda?

Aaron: Oh, no one. No one important.

Shirley: His last fiancé.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Spellmanian Slip
Tagged: Love, Relationships, Fiance, Secrets, Lies, Pointed
“Sabrina: Salem, any thoughts on what I should go as for Halloween?

Salem: Hmm. Off the top of my head, fashion victim?

Sabrina: The only thing lamer than that joke are my plans for Halloween.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 6: Murder on the Halloween Express
Tagged: joke, Sassy, lame, Insult, Halloween, Holidays, costume
“Sabrina: Hey, it worked! I pulled a rabbit out of a hat!

Rabbit: Hey, put me back, my wife Renée is about to give birth!

Sabrina: Oh, sorry! 

Hilda: Relax, that happens a lot with rabbits.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Bundt Friday
Tagged: Magic, witch, rabbit, joke, Birth, animal
“Maturity is a boring state of mind.”
— Clarissa Marie Darling, Clarissa Explains It All, Season 1: Parents Who Say No!
“Roxie: This is journalism, you write the truth and let the chips fall where they may.

Sabrina: But what if the chips destroy somebody?

Roxie: I think I'm beginning to understand who Sabrina Spellman is. You can't handle the truth!

Sabrina: I can handle the truth. I just can't handle the guilt.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: House of Pi's
Tagged: Journalism, Truth, Guilt, Philosophical, Moral Dilemma
“Roxie: Hey, what's that for?

Sabrina: Josh and I are throwing a singles party at the coffeehouse. I'm sure you think it's stupid.

Roxie: I haven't been on a date in five months. I can live with stupid.

Sabrina: Well, there's no motivation like desperation.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Finally!
Tagged: Dating, Single, Desperate, motivation, Relationships, party
“Sabrina: Why didn't you guys tell me that there's a rule that on Friday the 13th I can tell a mortal I'm a witch?

Hilda: Oh the one where you can tell anyone you want and they can know for a whole twenty-four hours?

Sabrina: Yes.

Zelda: We didn't want you to know.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 2: To Tell a Mortal
Tagged: Lie, witch, Sassy, friday the 13th, mortal
“Roxie: Miles, tell her that Valentine's Day is nothing more than a bogus holiday engineered by the greeting card industry.

Miles: In cahoots with the flower companies and candy manufacturers. I have a hunch the Trilateral Commission is also involved.

Sabrina: That's so cute, I never realized how much you two have in common.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Love Is A Many Complicated Thing
Tagged: Love, valentine's day, Capitalism, Holidays, Scam
“Sabrina: Okay, you go and distract Roxie.

Morgan: Okay. How?

Sabrina: Haven't you ever distracted anyone before?

Morgan: Well, yeah, but I don't think Roxie's gonna fall for the 'Oops, my strap broke!' trick.

Sabrina: It's worth a shot. ”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: It's a Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot Christmas
Tagged: joke, Distraction, flirty, Scheme, Irreverent
“Pete: Hey, hi, I'm... I'm Pete, from your English Lit class. I was wondering if you'd, uh... you'd like to, um...

Roxie: ...grade your pickup line? D minus.

Sabrina: That wasn't a pickup line.

Pete: Oh, actually, it was. You, uh, wanna go to a movie Saturday night?”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Heart of the Matter
Tagged: Dating, awkward, Pick Up Lines, Rude
“James: All right, let's see, you've been expelled from twelve different schools, you forced fourteen teachers into early retirement, one into a straitjacket. On the other hand, you were the top seller in the Other Realm High magazine drive.

Sabrina: That's what I love about Amanda, she's a real go-getter.

James: It says here you never turned in the money.

Amanda: That's because I spent it on a mountain bike. No, wait, I stole the bike, and spent the money on a Kate Spade bag.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Witchright Hall
Tagged: Go-Getter, Ambition, criminal, Thief, Bad Apple, Underachiever
“Sabrina: Hey, Roxie, what's your family doing for Christmas?

Roxie: The usual. We put up an aluminum tree, get take-out from Taco Bell, and then I watch my Dad and step-mom exchange cartons of Winston Lights.

Morgan: Your family exchanges cigarettes?

Roxie: Hey, it's just not Christmas without a visit from Jolly old St. Nicotine!”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Sabrina's Perfect Christmas
Tagged: Holidays, Christmas, present, Pun, Taco Bell, Family
“Sabrina: Hi, I’d like to take half a minute to talk to you about the true meaning of Halloween. It’s not about candy and costumes, it’s about family and showing them how much you care. So, don’t buy into the hype and commercialization of the season. This Halloween, stay home with your loved ones. Just gather round the Jack-O-Lantern and remember: the true meaning of Halloween is inside you. Right Salem?

Salem: There’s a pound of candy corn inside me.

Sabrina: Ignore him. Happy Halloween.”
— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: A Halloween Story
Tagged: Halloween, Holidays, Family, Love, candy, costumes
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