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Justin Roiland Quotes

Total quotes: 55
“Rick: Alright, Morty, I just gotta erhp combine it with some of your DNA.

Morty: Oh well, okay. [unzips]

Rick: A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. This isn't Game of Thrones.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Rick Potion #9
Tagged: DNA, hair, Game of Thrones, Sassy
“And this is why you don't invite a Floopy Doop and a Shmoopy Doop to the same party.”
— Party-Goer, Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business
Tagged: party, Invitation, tension
“No, no, I haven't seen that. I mean, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, th-that would be like the scariest place for them to live. Y'know what I mean?”
— Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: M. Night Shaym-Aliens!
Tagged: Pop-Tart, toaster, Fantasy, scary, creepy
“Get off the high road, Summer! We all got pinkeye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Total Rickall
Tagged: Toilet, High Road, Texting, germs, Pinkeye
“Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals.

Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.”
— Jerry Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Rixty Minutes
Tagged: Marriage, Sex, Unprotected Sex, Prom Night
“I'm Doctor Who in this motherfucker! I could be a clone! I could be a hologram! We could clones controlled by robots controlled by special headsets that the real Rick and Morty are wearing while they're fucking your mother!”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Rickchurian Mortydate
Tagged: Doctor Who, clones, Holograms, Robots, Diss
“Ambassador: Mr. Smith, Shrimply Pibbles' life can be saved... if we replace his heart with your human penis.

Jerry: I see... Wait, what?!”
— Jerry Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Interdimensional Cable 2
Tagged: penis, Organs, Heart Transplant, Life, Saved
“Stupid-ass, fart-saving, carpet-store motherfucker.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Mortynight Run
Tagged: Stupid, Fart, Carpet, Diss
“The universe is a little too big to care about something so small.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Big Trouble in Little Sanchez
Tagged: Universe, small, big, Vast, Care
“I'M A PICKLE! I'm pickle Riiiiiick!”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: Pickle Rick
Tagged: Pickle, Catchphrase
“Don't break an arm jerking yourself off, Morty.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind
Tagged: masturbation, Jerking Off, Broken Arm
“TO GET R*ugghhb*IGGITY RIGGITY WRECKED SOONN”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business
Tagged: Drinking, party, crazy, Wrecked
“Come on, flip the pickle, Morty. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge. I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal! I'm a pickle! What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: Pickle Rick
Tagged: Pickle, surprise, Transformation, Science
“Beth: Am I evil?

Rick: Worse, you're smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I've never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal, it grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots, just to eat them, not unlike your friend Timmy.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The ABC's of Beth
Tagged: Evil, Smart, Universe, Nothing Matters, idiots, Ordinary, Extraordinary
“Put a saddle on your universe. Let it kick itself out.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The ABC's of Beth
Tagged: Life, Universe, strength
“I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!”
— Mr. Meeseeks, Rick and Morty, Season 1: Meeseeks and Destroy
Tagged: introduction, hello, Look At Me
“I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Meeseeks and Destroy
Tagged: Fart, Adventure, Failure
“I masturbated to an extra curvy piece of driftwood the other day!”
— Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: The Ricks Must Be Crazy
Tagged: masturbate, Driftwood, teenager
“Rick: Have you acquired creepy specific old stuff from a mysterious antique or thrift store that gives you powers, but fucks with you in unforeseeable ways? Bring it to 'Curse Purge Plus'! I-I use science to un-curse the items for cash, and you get to keep the powers. This guy got mysterious sneakers to make him run faster, but guess what? He would've had to run until he died, making them worthless. I removed the curse, making them worth, like, I don't know, $8 million? See you at the Olympics. This eerily intelligent doll was threatening to murder its family. Now it does their taxes.

Doll: Everything's deductible.

Rick: Don't pay for cool stuff with your soul. Pay for it with money. You know, like how every store in the world works?”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Something Ricked This Way Comes
Tagged: creepy, devil, Powers, Curse, olympics, Taxes, Soul, Money
“[they both exchange kisses, upping their sexual arousal]

Unity: Yes, Rick, yes! Yes, yes!

Rick: Wait, wait, stop! H-Hold it! Not like this. We need a hang glider, and a crotchless Uncle Sam costume, and I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads, and I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Auto Erotic Assimilation
Tagged: Sex, Hang Glider, Fantasy, Uncle Sam, Crotchless
“Can somebody just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: A Rickle in Time
Tagged: Bets, Lose A Bet, Death, Cage
“There's a lesson here and I'm not going to be the one to figure it out.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Edge of Tomorty
Tagged: Lesson, figure it out, Thought
“Rick: When's the last time you got laid, 'pers?

Birdperson: It has been a... challenging mating season for Birdperson.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business
Tagged: Laid, Mating, Mating Season, Challenging
“Must... continue... moving... in... ways... that... lead... to... dying... with... you.”
— Morty Smith, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Edge of Tomorty
Tagged: Lead, Dying
“Beth: Sorry Jerry, you're real.

Jerry: [crying] I'm a parasite!

Beth: Yeah... but you're real.”
— Beth Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Total Rickall
Tagged: Reality, Parasite, real, Crying
“This seems like a good time for a drink, and a cold, calculated speech with sinister overtones. A speech about politics, about order, brotherhood, power... but speeches are for campaigning. Now is the time for action.”
— Evil Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Ricklantis Mixup
Tagged: Politics, Sinister, Speech, Campaigning, Action
“ How many of these are just horrible mistakes I made? I mean, maybe I'd stop making so many if I let myself learn from them.”
— Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: Morty's Mind Blowers
Tagged: Learning, Lessons, Mistakes
“They named a holiday after me. Ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school!”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: The Ricks Must Be Crazy
Tagged: Thanksgiving, School, holiday, Teaching
“SCREW YOU, RICK! I'LL PURGE YOU TOO, YOU OLD... "RICKETY" PIECE OF CRAP! THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING GUTS OUT AND SMEAR 'EM ALL OVER YOUR FACE! I AIN'T TAKING NO SH-AAAHH!!”
— Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Look Who's Purging Now
Tagged: Purge, Guts, Violence
“We're miserable Morty! There's a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, and they've weaponized the Eiffel tower!”
— Summer Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Rickshank Redemption
Tagged: curfew, calendar, weapons, Eiffel Tower
“Morty: You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?

Rick: Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.”
— Rick Sanchez / Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Mortynight Run
“Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.”
— Mr. Meeseeks, Rick and Morty, Season 1: Meeseeks and Destroy
“Yes, I will! That's right, assholes! Take my penis. Take it all!! And tell Shrimply Pibbles that when the galaxy came calling, Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch!”
— Jerry Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Interdimensional Cable 2
Tagged: penis, galaxy, Flinch, Donor
“ It's not the same, Summer! Lincler's a crazed maniac. He's just a misguided effort of mine to create a morally neutral super-leader by combining the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln. Turns out that ehh-it just adds up to a lame, weird... loser.”
— Rick Sanchez (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business
Tagged: Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler, DNA, Maniac, Loser
“Bird Person: Morty, do you know what wubba lubba dub dub means?

Morty: Oh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase.

Bird Person: It's not nonsense at all. In my people's tongue, it means, I am in great pain. Please help me.”
— Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Ricksy Business
Tagged: Catchphrase, Nonsense, Pain, Meaning
“Morty, you know outer space is up right? ”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Edge of Tomorty
Tagged: Outer Space, Space, Sassy
“Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: One Crew Over the Crewcoo's Morty
Tagged: Stealing, Theft, Lesson
“I wasn't born into the God business, I fucking earned it.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Rattlestar Ricklactica
Tagged: Business, Work Hard, earned it
“Your parents are a bag of dicks.”
— Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, Season 4: Childrick of Mort
Tagged: Parents, lame, metaphor example
“Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity. They're no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy. They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful. And then, because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful. Never gonna happen though, right?”
— Rick Sanchez / Morty Smith (voice), Rick and Morty, Season 2: Auto Erotic Assimilation
Tagged: Dating, Power, empowerment
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