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David Kirschner Quotes

Total quotes: 35
“Hang him on a hook and let me play with him!”
— Sarah Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Torture, Misandry
“It’s a full moon tonight. That’s when all the weirdos are out.”
— Dani, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: full moon, Weirdos
“Couldn’t you forget about being a cool teenager just for one night?”
— Dani, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: teenagers
“You know I’ve always wanted a child. And now I think I’ll have one…on toast!”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Cannibalism, Infanticide, Children
“Unfaithful lover long since dead. Deep asleep in thy wormy bed. Wiggle thy toes, open thine eyes, twist thy fingers toward the sky. Life is sweet, be not shy. On thy feet. So sayeth I!”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Unfaithful, wormy
“Master: They called me master.

Master's Wife: Oh, really? Well. wait until you see what I'm gonna call you!”
— Master, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Threats, Master, Dominance
“[to Winifred] It doesn't matter how young or old you are, you sold your soul! You're the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!”
— Dani, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: sold your soul, young, Old, ugly
“Jenny: [singing and laughing] I put a spell on you.

Dave: And I thought L.A. was a party town.”
— Jenny Dennison, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Screamin' Jay Hawkins, I Put a Spell on you, LA, Party Town
“Master's Wife: Aren't you broads a little old to be trick or treating?

Winifred Sanderson: We'll be younger in the morning.

Master's Wife: Yeah, sure, me, too.”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Old, Ageism, Broads, trick or treating
“Mama Mousekewitz: It's the end of the world.

Papa Mousekewitz: No, it's worse.”
— Mama Mousekewitz, An American Tail
Tagged: End of the World, hanukkah movies
“Come little children, I'll take thee away / Into a land of enchantment / Come little children, the times come to play / Here in my garden of magic.”
— Sarah Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: land of enchantment, Magic, Garden
“Sarah: What is this place?

Mary Sanderson: It reeks of children!

Winifred Sanderson: It is a prison for children.”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Children, Prison, reeks
“Jay: Oh man, how come it's always the ugly chicks that stay out late?

Winifred Sanderson: [Winnie, Sarah and Mary stop, turn and glare at the boys] Chicks?”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Chicks, Misogyny, late
“Dani: You saved my life.

Max: I had to. I'm your big brother.

Dani: I love you, jerkface.

Max: I love you, too.”
— Dani, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: lifesaver, Big Brother, jerkface, I Love You
“Max: [looking at the salt can] Well, what does it say?

Allison: Well, it says to form a circle of salt to protect from zombies, witches, and old boyfriends.

Max: And what about new boyfriends?”
— Max Dennison, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: magic spells, Witches, Old Boyfriends, zombies
“Sarah: I am alive!

Winifred Sanderson: Damn that boy, he's tricked us again.

Mary Sanderson: Oh, you're right, you're always right.

Winifred Sanderson: [Interjects] It's my curse, that and you two! Get off me, you thundering oafs!”
— Sarah Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: alive, tricked, oafs
“Oh, I’ve been there, thank you.  I found it quite lovely.”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Hell, lovely
“This is…this is terribly uncomfortable.”
— Sarah Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Uncomfortable
“Hi!  Hello Billy!”
— Sarah Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: hello
“Oh, cheese and crust! He's lost his head! Damn that Thackery Binx!”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: cheese and crust, fake swearing
“I am calm!!!”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Calm Down
“It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus!”
— Max Dennison, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: hocus pocus, when they say the title in the movie
“I smell children!”
— Mary Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Children, Smell
“I am beautiful! Boys will love me!”
— Sarah Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: So Pretty!, Pretty Witches!
“I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle.”
— Thackery Binx (voice), Hocus Pocus
Tagged: virgin, Candle
“It's the chocolate-covered finger of a man named Clark!”
— Mary Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: chocolate-covered finger
“Allison: I like your costume, Dani.

Dani: Thank you! I really like yours, too. Of course, I couldn't wear anything like that because I don't have any. What do you call them, Max? Yabbos? [Max embarrassed nearly spits out the cider he's drinking] Max likes your yabbos. In fact, he loves them!”
— Allison, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: costume, compliments
“Jay: [with a tree filled full of numerous rolls of toilet paper in the background] You want to smash some pumpkins?

Ernie 'Ice': No.

Jay: Well then, do you want to look in windows and watch babes undress?

Ernie 'Ice': It's 3am. They're undressed already.

Jay: [throws another roll of toilet paper] Well then, you think of something!

Ernie 'Ice': [grumpy eating candy] Look, I don't feel so hot.

Jay: It's because you're eating too much candy, you oinker! [hits Ice causing him to drop a piece of candy he was eating]”
— Ernie / 'Ice', Hocus Pocus
Tagged: candy, smashing pumpkins, voyeurism, Overeating
“Jay: So let's have a butt.

Max: No thanks, I don't smoke.

Ernie 'Ice': They're very health-conscious in Los Angeles. [Jay and Ice laugh]

Jay: You got any cash, Hollywood?

Max: No.

Ernie 'Ice': Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?

Max: Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose. [Jay laughs but stops as Ice offensively glares at him]

Jay: Whoa. Check out the new cross-trainers.

Ernie 'Ice': [looks at Max's sneakers] Cool. [turns to Max] Let me try them on. [Max tries to leave, Jay stops him and smiles]

Jay: Later, dude!

Ernie 'Ice': See you, Hollywood! [Jay and Ernie laughing]”
— Ernie / 'Ice', Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Cigarettes, Los Angeles
“Winifred Sanderson: [sings while flying] Book! Come to Mommy!

Voice of Thackery Binx: [Jumps on the book to prevent it from floating up to Winifred, with a screech] Afraid not!

Winifred Sanderson: Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline. Still alive?

Voice of Thackery Binx: And waiting for you!

Winifred Sanderson: Oh! Thou hast waited in vain. And thou will fail to save thy friends, just as thou failed to save thy sister!
[Screams and swoops down toward Binx]”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: mangy, feline
“Winifred Sanderson: Twist the bones and bend the back.

Sarah, Mary Sanderson: Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca.

Winifred Sanderson: Trim him of his baby fat.

Sarah, Mary Sanderson: Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca.

Winifred Sanderson: Give him fur black as black, just…

Mary Sanderson: Like…

Sarah: This!”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: magic spells, baby fat
“Master's Wife: Okay that's it, party's over! Get out of my house!

Master: Now, pudding face.

Master's Wife: Shove it, Satan!

Sarah: Ooh. Thou mustn't speak to Master in such a manner.

Master: They call me Master.

Master's Wife: Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna call you. Now, tart-face, take your Clark bars and get out of my house!

Winifred Sanderson: Make us!
[the witches gather around her]

Master: Honeybunch.

Master's Wife: Ralph, sic 'em!

[the witches runs out of the house in fear]”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: party's over, Shove It, satan, sic 'em
“Thackery's Father: Winifred Sanderson?

Winifred Sanderson: Yes?

Thackery's Father: I will ask thee one final time.

Winifred Sanderson: Yes?

Thackery's Father: What hast thou done with my son, Thackery?

Winifred Sanderson: Thackery? Hmm.

Thackery's Father: Answer me!

Winifred Sanderson: Well, I don't know. Cat's got my tongue. [Winifred, Mary, and Sarah laugh at her own joke as Binx angrily meows]

Winifred Sanderson: [thunder clash]”
— Winifred 'Winnie' Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Answer Me!, Cat Got Your Tongue
“Billy Butcherson: [to Winifred, after finally freeing his mouth] Wench! Trollop! You bucktoothed, mop-riding firefly from hell!
[Winifred yells offensively]

Billy Butcherson: [happily to Max] I've waited centuries to say that.

Max: [disgusted] Say what you want; just don't breathe on me!

Winifred Sanderson: Billy! I killed you once, I shall kill you again, you maggoty malfeasance! Hang on to your heads!”
— Billy Butcherson, Hocus Pocus
Tagged: wench, trollop, maggoty, malfeasance, insults
“Thackery Binx: Elijah! Elijah! [he runs up to Elijah] Hast thou seen my sister Emily?

Elijah: Nay. But look. [he points to purple smoke in the sky] They conjure.

Thackery Binx: Oh, God. The woods! [he and Elijah run towards the field and see Sarah leading Emily into the woods] Emily!

Elijah: She's done for.

Thackery Binx: Not yet! You wake my father. Summon the elders. Go! [Elijah races off while Thackery heads for the woods]”
— Thackery Binx (voice), Hocus Pocus
Tagged: Elders, sister, Woods
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