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Danny McBride Quotes

Total quotes: 51
“The good thing about getting over depression is...well...you can start to see your enemies more clearly. Suddenly, everyone isn't an obstacle, just some people are...And it might be someone that you find is in your bloodline, distant and as brown as their skin can be, they still are part of you.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: Depression, obstacle, Bloodline
“'Cause when I do me... Good things happen. I've got great methods.”
— Kelvin Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Good Things, Methods, Doing me
“I ain't no charity, I'm a commodity.”
— Baby Billy Freeman, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: They Are Weak, But He Is Strong
Tagged: charity, commodity, Ego
“They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice...FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.”
— Honey Mustard (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: gods, monsters, Fuck You, Oblivion
“See, in life, when you have talent all the other s**t doesn't matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 1: Chapter 3
Tagged: Talent
“Oddly enough, the people here aren't that different from the ones back home, when you get past the lack of interest in real sports, and the need to have yellow rice at every fuckin' meal.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: Mexico, Sports, Yellow Rice
“Why would you do this to me? Here this whole time I thought you were the whore with a heart of gold. Instead you're just a whore with a real whore's heart.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: Whore, heart of gold
“I'm wearing all black. Outlaws wear black. Fags and cocaine dealers wear white.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: Black, wearing black, Outlaws, fags, Cocaine, Homophobia
“We don't have standards... I mean we do. We have a lot of them. And they're real high. ”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Standards, High Standards, difficult
“You see, a foe can plan your destruction, but only a loved one can break your heart.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Foe, Destruction, heart, loved one
“I learned a lot down in Mexico. I learned that sometimes to be the man, you gotta beat the man. I learned the grass is not always greener. I learned that adversity's sweet milk. That's philosophy, April.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: Mexico, Grass is Green, Adversity, Philosophy
“I got two hard rules I live by, pop: I don't fuck with the Devil, and I never do tag teams with blood relatives.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: devil, blood relatives, tag teams
“Did this tale end the way I thought it would? Probably not. But as long as I win, who gives a shit?”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: Winning
“It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: tits and ass, Tits, ass, Muslims, Jews
“I have regular woman panties where the string goes up my crack. I have tits. I do sex. I'm carvin' my own path.”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Woman, Womanhood, thong, grown up
“If you're gonna be a preacher, you gotta be able to talk about anything, all right? Even if it makes us uncomfortable. When we stop doing that... People burn in hell.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 2: I Speak in the Tongues of Men and Angels
Tagged: Preacher, Uncomfortable, talk
“A goddamn Mexican standoff in fuckin' Mexico. I was hoping to get into one of these before I left.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: Mexican, Mexican Standoff
“Too hot for hugs here, man. I've been battlin' a war with swamp ass since I got down here.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: hugs, swamp ass
“Purity—it's what we all desire, and it is what I've come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: Purity, whites
“I can't believe I opened up my heart up to that bitch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: booty, Pooping, Bitch
“Is that my thong? Oh, dude no way! You do not go in my drawers and take out a pair of my chones. That is a big no-no!”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: no-no, thong, Gross
“There's gonna be an ass-ton of crabs, lobsters, wine, Bartles & Jaymes, corn on the cob, fuckin’ booger sugar.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 9
Tagged: lobster, bartles & jaymes, corn on the cob, Cocaine
“Judy: Kelvin, eat my ass. 

Kelvin: Yeah right. That'd be incest, and that is disgusting. Bye.”
— Kelvin Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Incest, disgusting, Fued
“When people see you do something bad it's hard for them to see you any other way.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 2: I Speak in the Tongues of Men and Angels
Tagged: Reputation, Bad
“Well, I wouldn't want to ruin a sale, huh? Guess you guys got to make those commissions to be able to buy all the goddamn...the FUBU, and the Oshkosh B'gosh, and the shit the baby's gonna be wearing. Hey, potential home buyers. Hope ya'll know there were a lotta rapes that happened in this house.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 7
Tagged: FUBU, Oshkosh B'Gosh, Rape
“I brought you guys up from less than fuckin' nothin', and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there...leave you high and dry, naked and nude, prey, easy targets for the competitions, to rape and buttfuck you. I'm sorry for that.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 12
Tagged: Rape, buttfuck, Championship, dry, nude
“That's my baby bro bro right there!”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Is This the Man Who Made the Earth Tremble
Tagged: Happy, Excited, Baby Bro , Nickname
“Get your head out of your asshole, okay?”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Is This the Man Who Made the Earth Tremble
Tagged: Head, butt, Insult, Sassy
“Hold on to your dick.”
— Scotty, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Wicked Lips
Tagged: Hold On, Warning
“I didn't know art could be useful.”
— Rick Mitchell (voice), The Mitchells vs. The Machines
Tagged: Art, useful, helpful
“I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 1: Chapter 1
Tagged: Real Sports
“You just go through life being a shithead.”
— Eli Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Interlude
Tagged: Life, Diss, upset
“You made your choice. And you broke my fuckin' heart.”
— Scotty, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Choice, Heartbroken, heart, Break My Heart
“Don't take glee in it. I'm being blackmailed!”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Glee, blackmailed, upset
“God bless you, air vent.”
— Judy Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: The Righteous Gemstones
Tagged: Bless, Air Vent , god bless
“I paid cash for the motherfucker. Bought it with an advance that I was paid for this, uh...self help novel I'm about to have published onto the Oprah's book clubs...Pretty much saved all my pennies from my major league days. Invested a lot of it very wisely in stocks, bonds, famous works of arts.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: Cash, Oprah's Book Club, Major League Baseball, Stocks
“Truth be told, things aren't going as good for me as I led on to believe. The love of my life married some other dude, and my new girlfriend fed her pussy to the owner of the baseball team I just quit. I stole homeboy's car, and now I'm probably a wanted fugitive.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 11
Tagged: Pussy, Girlfriend, fugitive
“Yeah Stevie, I'm pretty sure the guy I'm looking for didn't direct the fucking Blair Witch Project. Just forget you ever heard the name Eduardo Sanchez. Forget that he supposedly lives in a village near here. Forget that he is not Mexican, but a gringo.”
— Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down, Season 2: Chapter 10
Tagged: Blair Witch Project, Mexican, Gringo
“Good afternoon, Jesus.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: Is This the Man Who Made the Earth Tremble
Tagged: jesus, afternoon, Greeting
“That's the Gemstone way right there.”
— Jesse Gemstone, The Righteous Gemstones, Season 1: And Yet One of You is a Devil
Tagged: Gemstone , way, Family
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