1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Barney Stinson
Barney Stinson photo

Barney Stinson Quotes

Total quotes: 20
“Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother,
Tagged: how i met your mother, HIMYM, Friendship, Life, Love
“OK, here's my thing —if gay guys start getting married, then suddenly the whole world's gonna be doing it. That's how it works: they start something, then six months later, everyone follows. Like...now everyone gets manicures.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 2: Single Stamina
Tagged: Gay Marriage, Manicures
“A lie is just a really great story that someone ruined with the truth.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 1: Zip, Zip, Zip
Tagged: Wait, Sex, month, young, illegal
“There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 1: Return of the Shirt
Tagged: Reasons, Date, Girl, already dated, Breast Implants
“That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 3: The Yips
Tagged: Night, born, Phoenix, Simile Examples, strode, World, Armani, Awesome
“For the first time in my life I don't want to find myself in three years with some random girl, no matter how many boobs she has. I wanna be with Quinn.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 7: Trilogy Time
Tagged: boobs, Random, Desire
“Three days. We wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait... True story.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 4: The Three Days Rule
Tagged: jesus, Three Days Rule
“There’s three rules of cheating: 1. It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married. 2. It’s not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels. 3. And it's not cheating if she’s from a different area code.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 3: No Tomorrow
Tagged: Cheating, Cheaters
“Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot. Think about that, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There is no one hotter than God.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 2: Ted Mosby
Tagged: architects, Hot, Hot Guys, God
“Lily: I don't think your sword will fit.

Barney: I get that a lot.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 2: Columns
Tagged: sword, Penis Size, fit
“God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Suits are full of joy. They’re the sartorial
equivalent of a baby’s smile.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM Quotes, T.V Quotes
“It’s time to let go of the fantasies. It’s time to grow up.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 6: Cleaning House
Tagged: Letting Go, Fantasies, Growing Up
“Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: Life, Searching, HIMYM, how i met your mother
“Oh right, because there can be too many of something wonderful. Hey Babe Ruth, easy big fella, let’s not hit too many homers. Hey Steve Gutenberg, maybe just make three Police Academy movies. America’s laughed
enough.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Tagged: HIMYM, T.V Quotes
“Hey! I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them—and I have done some horrible things. I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her. So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 3: The Bracket
Tagged: Mercedes, player, Apology
“ I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly. I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life. I thought love was just something idiots thought they felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to -- and there have been times that I wanted to. It has been... overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, How I Met Your Mother Season 8: Splitsville
Tagged: Loving Someone, Madly In Love
loading next page...