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Zach Galifianakis

27 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Oct 1, 1969 · United States Of America · Male

Zachary Knight Galifianakis (; born October 1, 1969) is an American actor, writer and comedian. He came to prominence with his Comedy Central Presents special in 2001 and presented his own show called Late World with Zach on VH1 the following year. He has also starred in films, such as The Hangover trilogy (2009–2013), Due Date (2010), The Campaign (2012), Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014), Masterminds (2016) and The Lego Batman Movie (2017). He currently hosts the Emmy Award-winning talk show Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis on the Funny or Die website, and executive produces, writes and stars in the dark comedy series Baskets on FX. 2Early life Galifianakis was born in Wilkesboro, North Carolina. His mother, Mary Frances (née Cashion), is a community arts center owner, and his father, Harry, is a heating oil vendor. His mother has Scottish ancestry, while his paternal grandparents, Mike Galifianakis and Sophia Kastrinakis, were immigrants from Crete, Greece, and Galifianakis was baptized in his father's Greek Orthodox church. He has a younger sister named Merritt and an older brother named Greg. His cousin is Washington Post cartoonist Nick Galifianakis. His uncle, a politician, is also named Nick Galifianakis. Galifianakis attended Wilkes Central High School, and subsequently attended but did not graduate from North Carolina State University, where he was a communication majo

All Quiet (3)order (2)Question (2)Diss (2)hamburger helper (2)period (2)camera (2)private (2)Ding-Dong (2)upset (2)comedian (2)Jokes (2)Questions (2)Fast Cars (2)Names (2)

From “Are You Here”

Therapist: Are you afraid right now? Ben: I feel alone in the universe, except for Steve.

Fear Alone

Judge: Mr. Baker, have you been having difficulty distinguishing between real and unreal? Ben: My whole life.

Reality

How can you live here without looking for a high place to jump from?

Suicide

From “50+ Painfully Funny One Liners”

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

Funny Growing Up Getting Older

From “Stockholm Syndrome”

I have a real phobia around my ass.

From “Missing Link”

I have a lot of autumn in me, a lot of autumn colors.

Autumn Colors Fall Vibe

Yeah. Susan. That should be my name.

name Happy decision

I'm a quiet guy at heart, but do you mind if I just kind of growl a little bit in excitement?

Excited Quiet Growl

Take me away from this place. I'm lonely.

Lonely travel Adventure Request

Am I rambling? I’m a little nervous!

rambling Nervous

From “Between Two Ferns”

It's Dickerflick Cabbagepatch.

Names

It's Dickerflick Cabbagepatch.

Names

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, maniacs, to the loonies, and ding-dongs. And some people would say that we're the crazy ones, but I think we are geniuses, because we're crazy enough to try to change this ding-dong crazy world.

crazy Ding-Dong World

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, maniacs, to the loonies, and ding-dongs. And some people would say that we're the crazy ones, but I think we are geniuses, because we're crazy enough to try to change this ding-dong crazy world.

crazy Ding-Dong World

You dated a guy from One Direction. Which one direction was his penis pointing, north or south?

Direction One Direction Word Play

I'm not a practicing Jew. I perfected it.

practice Jew Religion Perfect

You love fast cars. In what other ways is your penis small?

Question Fast Cars joke Diss

You love fast cars. In what other ways is your penis small?

Question Fast Cars joke Diss

Just point your camera and shut the fuck up.

camera order Quiet

Just point your camera and shut the fuck up.

camera order Quiet

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