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- Walter Matthau
Walter Matthau Quotes
|Birthday:||October 1, 1920|
|Birthplace:||New York City, NY, United States|
|Death:||July 1, 2000|
|Educated At:||The New School|
|Manner of Death:||Natural Causes|
|Nationality:||United States Of America|
|Occupations:||Television Actor, Film Actor, Stage Actor, Film Director, Character Actor|
Birthday: October 1, 1920
Birthplace: New York City, NY, United States
Death: July 1, 2000
Educated At: The New School
Manner of Death: Natural Causes
Nationality: United States Of America
Occupations: Television Actor, Film Actor, Stage Actor, Film Director, Character Actor
Spouse: Carol Grace
John Gustafson: I'm cold.
Max Goldman: [hands him some matches] Here's some matches. Set yourself on fire.”
Max Goldman: Me, neither.”
Max Goldman: Oh, shut up, fatass.”
John: Gangster, huh? So tell me, was it more of a holdup than a stickup?
Max: Even your infantile penis jokes seem funny and witty this morning.”
Geraldo: ‘Lesbian Bandits’ next on Geraldo.
Max: Ooooh, lesbians yummy.”
John Gustafson: Hello, moron.”
Max Goldman: What's your point?”
Max Goldman: You cut the anchor, you dumbass.
John Gustafson: All right, then grab the net.
Max Goldman: You cut that, too, you dickhead.”
Max Goldman: Don't tell me, Jacob; it isn't me.
Jacob: Oh it never is. Uh huh, I'm sure John started every fight since 1940.
Max Goldman: ’38.”
Max Goldman: You traitor, you Benedict Arnold.
John Gustafson: Yeah, yeah.
Max Goldman: Finally. I didn't think he would last that long.
[Grabs milk and smells it]
Max Goldman: Smells all right to me.”
John: He was always very fond of you, Max.
Max: He was a good man.
John: The best.
Max: You know I didn't mean what I said about Melanie.
John: And you know how I really feel about Jacob.
Max: Yeah, well, he deserves to be happy.
John: He deserves Melanie.
Max: Hmmmm. Well, whaddya wanna do now?
John: You wanna get drunk?
Snyder: Have you seen him?
Max Goldman: The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication.
Max Goldman: Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.”
John Gustafson: Lucky bastard.
Max Goldman: You bet.
John Gustafson: Hey, how is he, anyway?
Max Goldman: Dead! Died on impact!
John Gustafson: Jacob, moron, Jacob.”
John Gustafson: Oh, well, I'll remind you, Einstein, that Mae was no prize.
Max Goldman: She was to me.
John Gustafson: I was married to the woman for 20 years, she was no prize!
Max Goldman: She was to me.
John Gustafson: Well, that's why you're a moron! If you'd had Mae you wouldn't have had Amy! And Amy was a good woman!
Max Goldman: She was the best.
John Gustafson: Yeah, and she was a darned sight more loyal than Mae ever was!
Max Goldman: Yeah!
John Gustafson: Yeah.
Max Goldman: What?
John Gustafson: What?
Max Goldman: Huh?
John Gustafson: Huh?
John Gustafson: What...?
[Both forget what they were arguing about]”