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Twitter's Good Boy Quotes
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Twitter's Good Boy
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I think it's OK when people clap after a movie. They know they're not telling the people who made the movie "thank you," they're just telling each other they enjoyed the movie together. It's human and nice.
—
Twitter's Good Boy
,
Clap After The Movie If You Damn Well Please
LOL
Being Nice
Movies
kindness
sweet
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What do ants get when they do all their chores? An allow-ants.
—
Anonymous
,
50 Short Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Funny
Jokes
Laugh Out Loud
LOL
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My husband told me he thinks my sexual orientation is 'being right' and I’ve never felt more seen.
—
Jessica Valenti
,
via twitter.com
Being Right
LOL
humor
Sassy
True
Quote of the Moment
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I don’t know why I bring out this craziness in women, but somehow I do, and it’s not always pretty.
—
Donald Trump
,
Donald Trump's books reveal his obsession with women — and himself
LOL
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You can't do anything about that heat rash, or that sunburn, or that fatigue. You can only endure more of it, until the day morphs into one you will never forget for all the wrong reasons.
—
Anne T. Donahue
,
Here's why I'm never going to the beach
LOL
humor
Summer
The Beach
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Honey I creative directed my walk over here today. Anyone can be a creative director.
—
Ryan O’Connell
,
Babe?
humor
LOL
Get over yourself
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My favorite measure of success is not pageviews but the sheer amount of ghosts that reappear after publishing a piece.
—
Callie Byrnes
,
Love When My Exes Keep Tabs On Me
Writing
LOL
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Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother.
—
Anonymous
,
via Tumblr
LOL
humor
Funny
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That's not the clitoris: a love story.
—
Melissa Broder
,
So Sad Today
LOL
Sex
Bad Sex
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ya know what’s kind of weird? some people name cats ‘whiskers.’ that’s a cat’s body part. that’s so wild. i’m gonna name my son leg.
—
hatchibomitar
,
via Tumblr
LOL
Funny
Cat
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I love crossing the street while cars are turning cuz it’s like wow either you hit me and I die, you hit me and I sue you, or you don’t hit me and I get to cross the street either way I win.
—
hacksign
,
via Tumblr
LOL
humor
Funny
dark
Death
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Coffee keeps you going until it’s time for wine.
—
Anonymous
,
via Tumblr
LOL
Growing Pains
Coffee
Wine
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Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.
—
Donald Trump
,
via twitter.com
LOL
Intelligence
Stupid
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In case someone hasn't told you today -
You broke. Stop buying all that damn fast food. Carry yo ass home and eat what ya momma cooked.
—
highlitemami
,
via Tumblr
Tumblr
LOL
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Take a selfie it'll last long-wait delete that one my eyebrows look fat take another.
—
Grace Helbig
,
Twitter
humor
digital age
Selfies
LOL
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small boob privilege is so real like…. bralettes… underboob tattoos… going braless?? not looking hyper sexual at all times ???? running comfortably? i could go on
—
averagefairy
,
via Tumblr
boobs
Womanhood
Body Positive
Tumblr
LOL
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this is mean and terrible but it exhausts me to be around people who haven’t finished going through their pretentious asshole phase like okay holden caulfield I know we’re all helplessly suckling at the teat of modern media but can you shut up and play some goddamn mario kart for like five minutes.
—
exeggcute
,
via exeggcute.tumblr.com
Tumblr
LOL
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I've spent 45 minutes putting my outfit together this morning and have brought my SLR camera to lunch, just so we can perfectly capture how casual and spontaneous I look today.
—
Michael Buchinger
,
I Lived Like a Professional Instagrammer for a Week - VICE
Instagram
Social Media
The Digital Age
LOL
Before and after
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Looking back, we chuckle. We’re glad the Internet Wayback Machine hasn’t exposed the Angelfire or Geocities webpages of our past.
—
Jason Winter
,
Cinemagraphs: the latest evolution of the animated GIF - InVision Blog
Design
Web
Wayback Machine
LOL
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'I’m not a feminist. I love men.' are two sentences as unrelated as 'I’m not an accountant. I love archeology.'
—
Erin Gloria Ryan
,
via twitter.com
feminism
humor
Girl Power
Misogyny
LOL
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Serenity and Rose Quartz sound like perfumes from a Parisian boutique, but they’re actually just the names of Pantone’s lame ass colors of the year.
—
Steven Markow
,
Pantone Color Names v. What They Actually Look Like — Slackjaw
Design
Pantone
Color
LOL
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I'm just trying to get this over with.
—
Kevin Radtke
,
via twitter.com
Life
humor
LOL
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I can't believe it's 2017 and I'm smarter than the President, and hotter than the Sexiest Man Alive, and I am still doing so poorly in life.
—
Christin Bailey
,
via twitter.com
Twitter Jokes
America 2017
LOL
broke
Millenials
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1988: made you this mixtape
1998: I burned you this CD
2008: made you this playlist
2018: *doesnt do anything cuz too afraid to come off as thirsty*
—
Eden Dranger
,
Comparing Flirting From 1988 To Now
Flirting
chemistry
crushes
LOL
Twitter
humor
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You can’t have a perfect summer day reminiscing about the four amazing years you all spent together and undoubtedly peaked during or else why would you keep talking about it without a perfect bikini to match.
—
Miranda Kronfeld
,
4 American Flag Swimsuits That Say, ‘I Loved High School!’
humor
satire
LOL
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