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Tina Fey Quotes

Total quotes: 38
“When it comes to hair, no one is more bitchy than conservative males.”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 2: Somebody to Love
Tagged: hair, Bitchy, Conservative Male, Appearance
“A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory”
— Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: book, trouble, Where's Waldo?, barber pole
“I'm sorry I'm a real woman and not some oversexed New York nympho like those sluts on Everybody Loves Raymond”
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock, Season 5: Reaganing
Tagged: Real woman, Oversexed, nympho, Everybody Loves Raymond
“Dating is like your haircut. Sometimes awkward triangles occur.”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 4: Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter
Tagged: haircut, Dating, awkward, Love Triangle
“Jack: Human contact is important, Lemon. I can tell from your stress level that you’ve not been touched in any way for quite some time. Not caressed. Not massaged. Not even groped on the subway. Do you agree that you need someone in your life, Lemon? 

Liz: No. I have bigger things to worry about than my personal life.

Jack: I would think that the single woman’s biggest worry would be choking to death in her apartment.”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 1: Blind Date
Tagged: human contact, Sex, personal life, Choking To Death, Alone
“It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Perfection, Boring
“Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you're science. Tell her, Jack!”
— Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock, Season 2: Somebody to Love
Tagged: donate, Body, Science, Sex, Pick Up Lines, get her back
“Liz: We sure had quite a year.

Jack: What’re you talking about? It’s May.
  
Liz: Shh.”
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock, Season 3: Kidney Now!
Tagged: Jumping the Gun, Premature
“Back in Stone Mountain, even the mayor had bedbugs. And she was a horse.”
— Kenneth Parcell, 30 Rock, Season 4: Audition Day
Tagged: bedbugs
“Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 1: Tracy Does Conan
Tagged: Tux, Farmer, Sassy, Comeback, fancy
“It has sex, lies, puberty, betrayal, relay races… 'MILF Island' reflects the drama of the human experience, and isn’t that the essence of art?”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 2: MILF Island
Tagged: Sex, Lies, Puberty, Betrayal, Drama, Human Experience, Art, Artistic Interpretation
“Jacqueline Voorhees: I look so sad. What filter is this?

Kimmy Schmidt: None! Hash brown no filter!”
— Jacqueline Voorhees / White, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Goes to the Doctor!
Tagged: photo filters, Sad, Hash brown
“Miss Lemon, your eyes look like my uncle’s after he would drink from the air conditioner”
— Kenneth Parcell, 30 Rock, Season 2: MILF Island
Tagged: Eyes, look like, Uncle, Drink, Air Conditioners, Gross
“Kenneth: Ma’am, this is a wild animal. You can’t treat it like a person.

Jenna: No, he’s happy. His costume is hiding his erection.”
— Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock, Season 3: The Natural Order
Tagged: Wild Animal, erection, costume
“The Italians have a saying, Lemon: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.' And although they’ve never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this case, they’re right.”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 1: Blind Date
Tagged: Italians, Keep Your Friends Close and your enemies closer, War, Car, Right, saying
“Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?”
— Ms. Norbury, Mean Girls
Tagged: Mean Girls Quotes, Movie Quotes
“In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Good Boss, Business
“You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Blond, Guys Are Stupid
“Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Alpha Female, Women, Powerful Women, boss
“Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... do your thing, and don't care if they like it.”
— Tina Fey, 50 Inspiring Motivational Quotes to Increase Your Confidence
Tagged: Selfie Captions, Changing Opinions, Do Your Thing, don't care, Be yourself, Selfie Captions
“Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Decisions, Decide, How To Handle A Difficult Problem
“Some people say, ‘Never let them see you cry.’ I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: emotions, Tears, Feelings
“If you're going to expend energy being mad about Photoshop, you'll also have to be mad about earrings. No one's ears are that sparkly.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: photoshop, looks, beauty
“You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Overthinking, Over-Thinker, Thinking, Anxiety, Relationships, life advice
“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.”
— Tina Fey, The Beer Devotional: A Daily Celebration of the World's Most Inspiring Beers
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, irish
“ I hate those corporate things. Bunch of drunk people talking about synergy.”
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock, Season 3: Retreat to Move Forward
Tagged: Corporate Culture, Synergy
“In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Hiring, Good Bosses, Getting Out Of The Way, Delegation
“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Anxiety, Paranoid
“Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Hard Work, Problem Solving
“I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.”
— Ms. Norbury, Mean Girls
Tagged: Dating, Relationships, Mean Girls Quotes
“Jack: I’m warning you now that the entertainment division is gonna come under some very close scrutiny. The days of your wild coke parties are over.

Liz: Well, if by 'coke,' you mean 'sodas'...”
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock, Season 3: Cutbacks
Tagged: Coke Parties, Office Parties, Cocaine, soda, Coca-Cola
“I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: bold, young woman, Compliment, Younger
“God, this is like dating Katie Couric all over again.”
— Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, Season 1: The C Word
Tagged: Dating, Katie Couric, repeat
“My hobby is using the toilet.”
— Sarah, Modern Love, Season 1: Rallying to Keep the Game Alive
Tagged: Sassy, sarcastic, Hobby
“Elisa: I cannot marry him because of a terrible secret. Please don’t ask me what it is!

Liz: I won’t. I don’t want to know... Are you a man?

Elisa: Really? That’s your guess, a man? You want to see me naked?

Liz: ... Sort of.”
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock, Season 3: The Ones
Tagged: Naked, Secrets
“This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. "You're up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara." Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Career, Women, Competition
“So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants
Tagged: Career, Work, Opinions
“Liz: Hey, Jack, do you treat me any differently because I’m a woman?

Jake: Well, I pay you a little less, yes

Liz: No, I mean day-to-day. Do you coddle me?
  
Jake: In some ways. With a man, I can be more direct, but with you, uh, I have to have a conversation, Talk things through more.”
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock, Season 3: The Natural Order
Tagged: gender, Gender Pay Gap
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