Tim Taylor Quotes
Total quotes (28)
Total quotes (28)
Jill Taylor: They broke the mirror, they put in the wrong tiling, we've got a cement...
Jill Taylor: [suddenly seeing her new whirlpool bath] Oh, wow, wow, what's this?
Tim Taylor: This is what will make it all worthwhile: Your new whirlpool.
Jill Taylor: Oh, Tim, it's so beautiful. Look at the color; it's perfect.
Tim Taylor: Not to mention seven adjustable jets, three speeds—low, medium and 'who needs a man?'
Tim: If I ever said it was hard living with you, just say one word, 'Al'.
Jill: It's that bad, huh?
Tim: His mother recorded his whole life on video tape. Last night it was three hours of Muskie Fishing With Uncle Phil. Did you know that in the seventh grade he built a replica of the Washington Monument out of Popsicle sticks?
Jill: Lot's of kids do stuff like that.
Tim: It was life-sized.
Tim Taylor: A live chicken? Brad, who the hell do you hang out with?
Brad Taylor: Mom...
Jill Taylor: What?
Brad Taylor: Dad's cussing.
Tim Taylor: I wasn't cussing.
Mark Taylor: He said a bad word.
Tim Taylor: It wasn't bad.
Randy Taylor: Yeah, he said 'hell' and 'damn'.
Tim Taylor: I did not say 'damn'.
Randy Taylor: Now you did.
Tim Taylor: I'm gonna let you guys in on a little secret, all right? Women, as we know them, are born without a face.
Randy Taylor: Bull!
Tim Taylor: Listen to me—women are like a Mr. Potato Head. You've heard your mom say every now and then, 'Excuse me, fellas, I've gotta go upstairs and put my face on.' She scurries up here, and draws one on with this stuff.
Jill: What, do you have rocks in your head? Don't you think?
Tim: Let's talk about who doesn't think for a minute—who drove around for two days with the oil light on?
Jill: Wait—I thought you said you weren't going to bring up the oil light.
Tim: With all those rocks in my head, sometimes I don't know what I'm sayin'!