Well, Lance, you're clearly gay. There's nothing really else to say about that. I think you all know that. And that's cool, but, you know, you were trying to oil me up and that's not really cool.
Catalog
Tim Meadows
Timothy "Tim" Meadows (born February 5, 1961) is an American actor and comedian best known as one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, where he appeared for ten seasons. He currently co-stars in the FOX sitcom Son of Zorn. 2Early life Tim Meadows was born in Highland Park, Michigan, the son of Mardell, a nurse's assistant, and Lathon Meadows, a janitor. He studied television and radio broadcasting at Wayne State University. 2Career Meadows began performing improvisational comedy at the Soup Kitchen Saloon. Meadows' start in show business was in Chicago as a member of The Second City comedy troupe alongside future star Chris Farley. In 1991, Meadows landed a spot on Saturday Night Live and would go on to become a longtime cast member, appearing on the program until 2000. (Meadows was on the show for ten seasons; this was the record for the longest tenure on the show until it was surpassed by Darrell Hammond in 2005.) Meadows' lengthy tenure on the show was used as a gag in three monologues when former cast members Phil Hartman and Mike Myers returned to the show to host, and when Alec Baldwin hosted for his twelfth time. Meadows often spoofed famous personalities including O. J. Simpson, Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey and Erykah Badu on SNL, and one time remarked that he had no character that was identified to him, such as Wayne and Garth being identified to Mike Myers and Dana Carvey. Eventually he did get an original character with Leon Phelps, "The Ladies' Man", a perpetually horny talk show host who falsely believed himself to be the living definition of what women search for in a ma
But guys you cannot blame the wang.
So...you...don't want a fish sandwich?
Well, listen baby. My car, uh, doesn't exist, so...
How long have you been uhh nunnin' it up?
I will probably begin with a very classy first line...something like: say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?
Ya know, when a man works hard his entire life enduring hundreds of ladies, many of whom he does not even remember you'd like to think that at the end of the day he will be given a lot of money, without having had to earn it.
Listen. I don't care what you say. Chlamydia is a soup. It's my opinion. I can have that if I'd like. You don't have to argue. I've seen it on the grocery store shelf. Don't argue with me about it. I don't care if you are a doctor.
Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified not by women but by a man.
Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified not by women but by a man.
Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed ‘dabut’ under your hobbies? Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's ‘da butt.’
Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh...was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.
My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutante, high society...bus station skank.
What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do…
What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do…