I'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steaming between two fluffy seaweed sea buns.

Burgers Parody Pickles Lettuce Tomato

From “Ripped Pants”

I heard that in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. No, wait, it wasn't coral.Maybe it was sand...no, mud.

Hardship Pioneers coal Coral mud

From “Plankton!”

Hall Monitor SpongeBob reporting for duty, ma'am! I'm ready to assume my position in the hall! I will protect all that are weak in the hall! All rules to be enforced in the hall!

Hall Monitor

This guy’s not half-bad-looking for a maniac.

Maniac Self-awareness

From “Your Shoe's Untied”

I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud!

Ugliness Pride Self-Esteem

SpongeBob: Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am. Patrick: Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look!

ugly Irony Wingman

From “Squid's Day Off”

The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter.

Hot That's Hot Humblebragging

From “Something Smells”

First I need to find a friend! (holds up as stick) Stick buddy...! Nah. (stands next to a pile of rocks) Rock buddy...! No. (stands next to a sink) Sink buddy! Almost.

Anthropomorphism Friends Inanimate Objects

From “Bossy Boots”

The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and may only be discussed in part or in whole with its creator Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary.

Krabby Patty Krusty Krab Mr. Krabs The World of Fast Food in Spongebob Squarepants

You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.

Death Wish Irony

From “Grandma's Kisses”

Fish boy, are they smelly? Whoo hoo!! How could a creature who spend so much time in the water smell so bad?

fish Smelly soap

SpongeBob: Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Fish: Why?! SpongeBob: Because, they're so darn stupid!

Anti-Jokes Stupid

From “Squidville”

Sandy: I'm a squirrel. See? *Sandy points to an acorn.* SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.

Jokes Puns Squirrels Double Entendres

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