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Sloane Crosley Quotes

Total quotes: 13
“Personally, I like my child friends to be at least seven years old, as there is little difference between what amuses me and what amuses a seven-year-old.”
— Sloane Crosley, The Doctor Is a Woman: Sloane Crosley Considers the Prospect of Parenthood
Tagged: My aesthetic, kids
“Here’s the paradox: Every day, we see more unapologetically self-assured female role models, yet women’s extreme prostration seems only to have increased.”
— Sloane Crosley, Why Women Apologize, Andy Why They Should Stop
Tagged: Etiquette, Apologies
“Aesthetics in literature are important, but literature as aesthetics makes me nervous. When did a candle-topped pyramid of paperbacks become a symbol of depth?”
— Sloane Crosley, The Virtues Of Shelf-lessness
Tagged: Books, library
“As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.”
— Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Tagged: First Lines In Books, first lines of books
“My goal, which isn’t always successful, is to try to take the training wheels off of essays, because I tend to have a roundabout way of getting to things.”
— Sloane Crosley, You Have to Be Slightly Uncomfortable to Walk Down the Street and Notice Things
Tagged: Writing, Essays, Being A Writer
“I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn’t plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: I’ve never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring.”
— Sloane Crosley
Tagged: Love, Breakups, Heartbreak, strength, Relationships
“You feel like telling him you’re not single in the way that he thinks you’re single. After all, you have yourself.”
— Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Tagged: Love, Breakups, Heartbreak, strength, Relationships
“Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.”
— Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Tagged: humor, Life, Growing Up
“Looking back, it’s clear that he was building a case for himself, a verbal paper trail in which the reason it didn’t work out with us was because I was in a hurry to procreate. When the truth was he just wasn’t sure he wanted to have kids with me. Which was fair. I wasn’t sure I wanted kids with me either.”
— Sloane Crosley, An excerpt from Sloane Crosley's new book
Tagged: kids, Breaking Up
“ Before I went under, I asked the anesthesiologist what would happen if I didn’t fall asleep. Most people, she said, wondered what would happen if they never woke up. I told her this seemed like a nonsense question. Who cares? You’ll be dead. Your concerns are minimal.”
— Sloane Crosley, The Doctor Is a Woman: Sloane Crosley Considers the Prospect of Parenthood
Tagged: My aesthetic, Nonexistence
“I had no idea that eggs were competitive like sperm. This is something we should toss into middle school health curriculums, if only for the sociological implications. My entire life, I have assumed that eggs were passive creatures, inert trophies to be earned by ambitious sperm. I blame Woody Allen.”
— Sloane Crosley, To Egg Freeze, Or Not To Egg Freeze: Sloane Crosley Considers The Prospect Of Parenthood
Tagged: egg freezing
“But most people don’t get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this one thing. This relationship is an impulse buy, and you’ll figure out if it’s worth it later.”
— Sloane Crosley, How Did You Get This Number
Tagged: Love, Breakups, Heartbreak, strength, Relationships
“The best way I can describe the feeling of installing new shelves in one’s bathroom is that it’s like being a little kid and having a new case for your pencil collection. I keep rearranging bottles and candles. These shelves make me want to invest in sea sponges.”
— Sloane Crosley, What Sloane Crosley Bought In July
Tagged: humor, Shopping
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