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Shawn Spencer Quotes

Total quotes: 51
“Lassiter: What do you two know about street racing anyway?

Shawn: Only what we learned from The Fast and The Furious. So... everything.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 5: Shawn & Gus in Drag
Tagged: Street Racing, Learned, Fast and the furious, Knowledge
“Injury-free since June, when Gus broke his finger flipping the injury countdown calendar.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 5: We'd Like to Thank the Academy
Tagged: Ironic, Irony examples, Finger, broken, Injury
“It's a gift that I bust out on rare occasions and almost all the time.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 6: This Episode Sucks
Tagged: Gift, Special Occasions, All the Time, contradictory
“There is a witness. There's a cat. I want to talk to that cat as soon as he's done licking himself... wow, I'm jealous.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: 9 Lives
Tagged: Witness, Cat, licking, Jealousy
“He is very forgiving of others. For instance just the other day, I spilled the hot cocoa all over his genitals, and I say 'I'm sorry,' and it is fine.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: Forget Me Not
Tagged: I am sorry, Forgiving, Accidents, genitals
“Remember Dad, you treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: Black and Tan
Tagged: Woman, princess, Goddess
“This is the best shake on the planet. One part ice cream, two parts awesome!”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable
Tagged: shake, ice cream, planet, The Best, Awesome
“Ahoy, there! Um, yes. Right. Um, my name is Shawn Spencer. This is my first mate, Hummingbird Saltalamacchia.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: Six Feet Under the Sea
Tagged: First mate, Nickname, Wrong Name, Partner
“Mary: Do you think it could be PTSD?

Shawn: I think it's far more serious than a mere menstrual issue.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: The Devil Is in the Details... And the Upstairs Bedroom
Tagged: PTSD, Menstrual Issue, serious
“Lassiter: You brought a date to the crime scene?

Shawn: It was either this or ice skating.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: You Can't Handle This Episode
Tagged: Date, Crime scene, ice skating, Shock
“Gus: I've seen it all.

Shawn: You've seen it all though the cracks in your fingers while you were hiding your eyes.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: The Head, The Tail, The Whole Damn Episode
Tagged: Sassy, Seen it all, Scared, Hiding your eyes
“Mary Lightly: I wanted to be heroic.

Shawn: Oh, Mary, with a flare gun?”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: Mr. Yin Presents...
Tagged: Rescue, Heroic, flare gun, useless, Let Down
“Hello! I'm Shawn Spencer. This is my partner Radio Star. I'm afraid your video will kill him.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 5: Dead Bear Walking
Tagged: Iconic, Partner, Radio Star, Buggles, Video Killed The Radio Star
“Henry: How much blood was it exactly, Shawn?

Shawn: It was just a small stream. It wasn't like the end of Carrie or the beginning of Carrie.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 6: This Episode Sucks
Tagged: Blood, Amount of Blood, Carrie, Bloody
“Gus: You're dating a murderer!

Shawn: Not exclusively.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Dating, murderer, Exclusive
“Gus: I need Facetime with my boss; I already missed the pamper pole trust exercise.

Shawn: I'm uncomfortable with you even saying the words 'pamper pole.'”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: Game Set...Muuurder?
Tagged: facetime, pamper, Uncomfortable
“Gus: What are we looking for anyway?

Shawn: Anything that points to criminal activity. You know... a white cloth sack with a green dollar sign. A red barrel labeled 'TNT.' An anvil. Anything.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: Zero to Murder in Sixty Seconds
Tagged: Clues, obvious, Criminal Activity, sarcastic
“Henry: Well, that's a stupid house to rob.

Shawn: Does anyone live up to your expectations? Maybe we should get the robber's phone number so you can call and tell him how disappointed you are.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: Rob-a-Bye Baby
Tagged: Fatherhood, Expectations, Sassy, Diappointment
“Shawn: Well, at least that gives us the 'how.' Now we just gotta figure out the 'why,' which reminds me, Gus, will you please get us those tickets for The Who?

Gus: Where?”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: The Old and the Restless
Tagged: how, what, when, where, why, The Who
“Henry: I warned you, Shawn, fire fighters are trouble. I did everything in my power to keep you off of the pole!

Shawn: And you succeeded, Dad... in every conceivable way.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: Earth, Wind and...Wait for It
Tagged: trouble, Off the pole, Parenthood
“Lassiter: Are you in my apartment?

Shawn: Please. I haven't snuck into your apartment for weeks. Which reminds me, you're all out of peanut butter.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: Extradition
Tagged: Sneaking In, apartment, All Out, Peanut Butter
“Bad Guy: But know this: one stupid move, and I've got more than enough plastic bags for your body parts.

Shawn: Note to self: call Hefty with commercial idea.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark
Tagged: Body Parts, Murder, Plastic Bags, Hefty, Commercial idea
“Gus wants to know if your boat has cable. It's the season finale of Leverage and his TiVo's on the fritz.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: The Head, The Tail, The Whole Damn Episode
Tagged: Cable, Priorties, leverage, TiVo, fritz
“Henry: Oh, yeah? Well, I've got an ice-cold can of whoop-ass just sitting in that fridge!

Shawn: Actually, it's diet whoop-ass.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: American Duos
Tagged: Whoop-ass, diet, fridge
“Gus: I'm not mad; I'm happy, I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.

Shawn: That explains your shoes.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: 65 Million Years Off
Tagged: Idiot, Thriled, Diss, Shoes
“Gus: How do you share a Popsicle?

Shawn: I take a lick, you take a lick, I take a lick, you take a lick, I take a lick.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing
Tagged: sharing, Popsicle, Lick, Taking turns
“Major General Felts: I assume you realize this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base!

Shawn: Is there another type of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: You Can't Handle This Episode
Tagged: idiocry, not be tolerated, comfortable, Comeback, Army base
“Gus: Don't you watch the news?

Shawn: I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 4: The Head, The Tail, The Whole Damn Episode
Tagged: News, Channels, Toupee, Newscast, Lies
“Gus: That owl is made entirely out of cinnamon!

Shawn: Which means it is both wise and delicious.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 5: Dual Spires
Tagged: Owl, cinnamon, wise, Delicious, Excited
“How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: Truer Lies
Tagged: Sarcasm Quotes, TV Show Quotes
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely why time travel is not only possible but may have already happened.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: From the Earth to the Starbucks
Tagged: TV Show Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes
“What isn't clear is why people always say 'goes without saying,' yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying. Doesn't that bother you?”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered!
Tagged: Sarcasm Quotes, TV Show Quotes
“Clouds don't kill people. People kill people.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: Cloudy... With a Chance of Murder
Tagged: Clouds, Murder, Killing
“Why you dirty, filthy rascal with the suede, suede head.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 1: Poker? I Barely Know Her
Tagged: dirty, Filthy, rascal, Suede
“My name is Shwan. This is my partner, Scoony 'U-Turn' Singleton”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: Gus's Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy
Tagged: Partner, joke, Nickname, Wrong Name
“Just call me the suck-stopper. No, wait. Don't ever call me that.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: There's Something About Mira
Tagged: Nicknames, Regret, suck
“I've heard it both ways.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 2: Shawn
Tagged: Catchphrase, Heard It Both Ways, Both
“Great, dripping with swagger!”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 3: Gus Walks Into A Bank
Tagged: Great, Swag, Coolness
“I'm just getting started, you giant cockroach. You know what? That was out of line. I apologize to cockroaches everywhere, especially Jiminy Cricket, although for the first time in thirty years, it occurs to me... he might be a cricket.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 5: The Polarizing Express
Tagged: Diss, Cockroach, Apologies, Jiminy Cricket, Cricket
“We're so far off the grid I think we may be back on the grid.”
— Shawn Spencer, Psych, Season 6: The Tao of Gus
Tagged: Off The Grid, Extreme, Back on the grid
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