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Sharon Horgan Quotes

Total quotes: 29
“You see a little troll tobogganing out of your wife's snatch on a wave of turds and part of you will hold her responsible.”
— Chris, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Troll, Vagina, Birth, Reproduction, Poop, graphic, Baby
“If you think I'm going to put time, money and effort into maybe getting into some woman's pants, you're crazy.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 4
Tagged: Time, Money, Sex, Effort, crazy
“Rob Norris: So I just write a check every month and leave it at that? Fuck that. I didn't know my father and it sucked. This kid gets a dad.

Sharon: Oh, God, you don't have to be so American about it.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Baby, Money, Fatherhood, American, Cheap
“I'll remember you as a sturdy love maker with a massive chin, who was kind to waiters and taxi drivers, which suggests you might actually be a good person.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Love, Sex, Chin, Kind, Waiters, Taxi Drivers, Good
“Rob Norris: If I thrust too deeply, will my penis latch onto the IUD coil thingy and pull it out?

Sharon Morris: Yeah. No, it's fine. They put it more than two and a half inches inside me.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 5
Tagged: thrust, penis, IUD, Diss, Penis Size
“Your situation sounds fucking awful, I'd love to hear more about it.”
— Dave, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 2
Tagged: situation, Awful, talking, Gossip
“Oh. That human loaf of bread?”
— Diane, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: human, loaf, Metaphor Examples, Bread, Diss
“You don't love him. You love his dick.”
— Dallas, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Sex, penis, Love, Love for the wrong reasons
“Why haven't I cheated on you? Because... Loads of reasons. I mean, the biggest is you have been pregnant so much, so, not fucking some prostitute is the least I can do when you have been carting around our babies in your body.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 4
Tagged: Cheating, Reasons, pregnant, Sex
“I'm gonna look back on my time with you and remember you as an extraordinarily good smelling woman with a magical ass, and you're smart, so you can even get away with being less attractive, and you'd still be fairly attractive.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Reflect, Extraordinary, Love, romance, Attractive
“If I ever do cheat on you, it's going to be a cash transaction with a guaranteed ejaculation, after which she immediately leaves so I can ponder suicide because of how guilty I feel.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 4
Tagged: Cheating, Cash, ejaculation, ponder, Suicide, Guilt
“I don't think you need to be a mother, though, you know, to know unconditional love. ”
— Shona, This Way Up, Season 1: Episode 4
Tagged: mother, Love, Unconditional
“You wish you were a fugitive. You were arrested so you're a criminal. Criminal in a neck brace. What a fucking catch.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 4: Episode 1
Tagged: Fugative, Arrested, criminal
“It became apparent within 30 seconds that the two of you have been fucking for quite awhile.”
— Robert, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: apparent, Sex, affair, long time
“Sometimes when I get home from work, I feel happy. I actually feel happy. Then I see your car parked outside and I realize you’re home, and my heart … sinks.”
— Frances, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Home, Work, Happy, heart sinks
“She's one of these people where, like, everything has gone her way. You know, and she thinks she did it. But, it was luck.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Luck, Good Things, fortunate
“How do you go from eight years of a happy marriage to wanting to blow someone's head off?”
— Frances, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Marriage, Divorce, People Change, Love Evolution
“Answer my cry for help.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 4: Episode 1
Tagged: help, cry
“You know I just wish one bad thing would happen to her. Like I don't want her to get hit by a bus or anything. But you know, maybe she got arrested for tax fraud or if her dad got caught with child porn or something, you know just to knock the smug out of her.”
— Sharon Morris, Catastrophe, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: bad thing, bus, Arrested, tax fruad, Smug
“You don't have a monopoly on pain. Look around.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 4
Tagged: Pain, Monopoly, Called Out
“I very fancy you.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 3
Tagged: Love, fancy, enjoy
“You exude black squid ink. ”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 2: Episode 6
Tagged: Squid, Ink, Diss, mean
“You know, there's no playbook on how to grieve.”
— Rob Norris, Catastrophe, Season 3: Episode 6
Tagged: Playbook, Grief, Sad, Advice
“You're Jesse James, and I get to be Sandra Bullock.”
— Robert, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: jesse james, Sandra Bullock, Roles, situation
“When did it start to go off the tracks in your mind?”
— Robert, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: off the tracks, Mind, Questions
“Ugh, he’s such a … wet pussy.”
— Diane, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: annoyed, wet, Insult, Diss
“Perhaps when you grew the mustache?”
— Frances, Divorce, Divorce Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Timing, Perhaps, Theory, mustache, facial hair
“My hobby is using the toilet.”
— Sarah, Modern Love, Season 1: Rallying to Keep the Game Alive
Tagged: Sassy, sarcastic, Hobby
“I want to save my life while I still care about it.”
— Frances, The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Marriage, Divorce, Fix Yourself, Before It's Too Late, Running Out Of Time
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