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Scott Caan Quotes

Total quotes: 15
“Steve McGarrett: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around food?

Danny “Danno” Williams: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around armed conflict?”
— Danny Williams, Hawaii Five-0, Season 1: The Siege
Tagged: Life, revolves, food, armed conflict
“Steve McGarrett: That guy was only going to talk under fear of death?

Danny “Danno” Williams: Fear of death? People will tell you anything under fear of death. That doesn't make it true!”
— Danny Williams, Hawaii Five-0, Season 1: Family
Tagged: Fear, Death, false
“Well, we’re all naked in there and we’ve got handcuffs and cool shit to play with, so take off your clothes and get in the car.”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: bondage, S&M, handcuffs, cool shit
“Jonathan Moxon, you are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your goddamn clothes and get in the car.”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: you're under arrest, sophomore, Naked
“Charlie Tweeder: Hey, you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance? [Tweeder dances] You know what it’s called?

Mox: What?

Charlie Tweeder: The New Tweeder End Zone Dance.”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: End Zone, dance, eponymous
“[Mooning Mox and Billy Bob through the truck window] Good moonin, boys! Good moonin! I have been up since the crack of dawn and I had to ass you a question.”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: Mooning, ass, crack of dawn
“Danny “Danno” Williams: First you have to seek to understand before you can be enlightened.

Steve McGarrett: I will literally pay you cash to stop talking.”
— Danny Williams, Hawaii Five-0, Season 1: Victory
Tagged: Understand, Enlightened, Seek, Sassy, Cash, Money, stop talking
“[singing] ‘She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw.’”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: Misogyny, Heartbreak, Domestic Violence
“Danny “Danno” Williams: You know what the greatest invention of all time is?

Chin Ho Kelly: What?

Danny “Danno” Williams: The ignore button. I have a theory that whoever invented the modern cellular phone also had an ex-wife.”
— Danny Williams, Hawaii Five-0, Season 1: To Protect
Tagged: Greatest, invention, ignore button, Theory of Everything, cellular phone, ex-wife
“Charlie Tweeder: What is up with Carrie Ann Baker?

Billy Bob: Darcy’s friend?

Charlie Tweeder: Oh, my God! She’s got this look. Like, I just fell out of the I’m-gonna-suck-your-dick tree and hit every branch on the way down!”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: Slut Shaming, suck your dick
“Charlie Tweeder: Say I’m stupid and I’m about to get hit in the nuts.

Billy Bob: That’s funny.

Charlie Tweeder: Ain’t it funny? That’s what I mean. See, they need to change the name of the show to America’s funniest shots in the nuts.”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: ow my balls, kick in the nuts
“Ladies, shut up and hold on to your nipples!”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: Misogyny, nipples, Sexual Assault
“Danny “Danno” Williams: Can I ask you a question? Why are you always driving my car?

Steve McGarrett: I like to drive.

Danny “Danno” Williams: No. Rainman liked to drive. You have control issues.”
— Danny Williams, Hawaii Five-0, Season 1: Desperate Measures
Tagged: Question, Driving, Rainman, control issues
“Police Officer: Congratulations.

Charlie Tweeder: Congratulations to you, too.

Police Officer: Congratulations for what?

Charlie Tweeder: For getting to wear such cute ‘mount me’ hats.

Police Officer: Mount me?

Charlie Tweeder: Not right away. After a few drinks...”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: Congratulations, disrespect
“Charlie Tweeder: Will you listen to me? Bitches are all just panty-droppers. You understand? That’s it.

Mox: What?

Charlie Tweeder: Listen. You give ‘em a Percocet, two Vicodin and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It’s very nice.

Mox: [laughing]

Charlie Tweeder: [emphatically] It’s nice.

Mox: Tweeder, you think you’ll enjoy prison?

Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don’t know. [looks into his jockstrap] The fuck is that?”
— Charlie Tweeder, Varsity Blues
Tagged: Bitches, panty-droppers, date rape drugs, STDs, Prison
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