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Paul Rudnick Quotes

Total quotes: 20
“Wednesday: We don't hug.

Becky: Oh, they're just shy.

Pugsley: We're not shy.

Wednesday: We're contagious.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Hugging, Shy, Contagious
“Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?

Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.

Wednesday: Especially his head.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Baby, Hatred, play
“Morticia: My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do?

Grandma: Well, you have a black dress.”
— Morticia Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Black Dress, Loss of Family, Gallows Humor
“Uncle Fester: Dementia! What a beautiful name!

Dementia: It means 'insanity.'

Uncle Fester: My name is Fester. It means 'to rot.'”
— Uncle Fester Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Dementia, fester, Rot, Insanity, Names
“Walter Kresby: You're even better at sex, don't deny it.

Joanna Eberhard: I wasn't going to.”
— Paul Rudnick, The Stepford Wives
Tagged: Sex, Denial
“[about Pubert]
Gomez: He has my father's eyes.

Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.”
— Morticia Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Inheritance
“Joel: I'll never forget you.

Wednesday: You won't?

Joel: You're too weird.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: remember, Weird
“[Pugsley hits a bird during archery practice]
Becky: It's an American Bald Eagle!

Gary: But, aren't they extinct?

Wednesday: They are now.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Bald Eagle, Endangered Species, Extinct
“ [to Fester] You'll meet someone.
Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges.”
— Gomez Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: romance, domestic assault
“Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Bermuda Triangle, vacation, Doom
“[to Debbie] You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him?”
— Morticia Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Slavery, sexual, Spell
“[to Gomez] I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”
— Morticia Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Modern Woman, Having It All, loving husband
“[upon seeing that Fester is actually Gordon] I knew it! You are a fake!”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: fake
“Wednesday: Pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: [sternly] Now.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
“Young Girl: And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!

Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby, too.

Wednesday: They had sex.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Procreation, Sex, Birds and Bees
“Joel: Cara mia.

Wednesday: Mon cher.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: cara mia, mon cher, terms of endearment
“Wednesday: [hooking up an electric chair] Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So we can play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, 'Is There a God?'”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: Sadism, Electric Chair
“Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.”
— Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
Tagged: I Got This, Confidence
“I'm not perky.”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: perky, Deadpan
“You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations; your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadside; you will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation; your people will have stick-shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, 'Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.'”
— Wednesday Addams, Addams Family Values
Tagged: Pilgrims, Native Americans, Highballs
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