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Nick Swardson

14 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Oct 9, 1976 · United States Of America · Male

Nicholas Roger Swardson (born October 9, 1976) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, screenwriter and producer. He is best known for his recurring role as Terry Bernadino in the comedy series Reno 911!, for his work with Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions, and for his own personal sketch comedy series Nick Swardson's Pretend Time. 2Early life A native of the Minneapolis–Saint Paul area, Swardson was born to Pamela and Roger Eric Swardson, and is the youngest of three siblings — he has a sister, Rachel, and a brother, John. Roger Swardson (1934–2003) was an editor and journalist — having written for publications such as the Cincinnati Enquirer and City Pages, as well as founding the Grand Gazette, a former Saint Paul community newspaper. Roger Swardson also invested in land development in Saint Paul, revitalizing Grand Avenue — an area now known as Victoria Crossing. Roger and Pamela divorced in 1989. Swardson attended St. Paul Central High and started acting and performing improv comedy at the age of 16. A mischievous student who struggled with alcohol and drugs, Swardson was expelled from school on four occasions for pulling fire alarms in order to go outside and smoke cigarettes, fighting, posting a lewd sign in class, and for smoking marijuana; he was enrolled in a rehab program while still in school. After graduating in 1996, Swardson decided to pursue stand-up comedy rather than attend colleg

All Bad Rhymes (7)Hollywood Actors (5)Comedians (5)stand up comedy (5)Adam Sandler Crew (5)Fake Tough Guys (2)Traffic (1)Vanilla Ice (1)Poseurs (1)Robbie Van Winkle (1)Poser (1)Fuck (1)Ford Maverick (1)Tired-Ass (1)Weak (1)

From “Nick Swardson”

Everybody loves pot brownies. But I bring crystal meth cupcakes to the party and suddenly I'm the weirdo.

stand up comedy Comedians Adam Sandler Crew Hollywood Actors

I got alcohol poisoning. Its not fun, I don't recommend it. Its actually so funny because you can die that way. Its such a weird way to die, its so stupid. But its funny to me trying to explain it. Dying that way. "Dude did you hear about Nick? He died." "What, how? Who did it?" "Nick." "With what?"…

stand up comedy Comedians Adam Sandler Crew Hollywood Actors

That movies called Boner Soup? About the dad who died and the kids? What the fuck is Boner Soup? I didn't see a boner or soup in the whole trailer.

stand up comedy Comedians Adam Sandler Crew Hollywood Actors

I always thought it would be really funny if they showed a really dramatic trailer, really serious, and they have a title at the end of it that has nothing to do with the trailer. This is again to mess with the audience.

stand up comedy Comedians Adam Sandler Crew Hollywood Actors

I always thought it would be funny if a movie like that, to mess with all the stoned people in the audience. If right before the movie started, like Transformers, they put "Based on a True Story".

stand up comedy Comedians Adam Sandler Crew Hollywood Actors

From “Malibu's Most Wanted”

[high-pitched scream] STOP IT! You say one more line and I'm-a have to smoke myself!

Bad Rhymes

You that weak fuck from the club.

Fake Tough Guys Weak Fuck

Gary: You know who this is! I'm from Bill Gluckman's office! Tec: Damn! He's the one that's down with the bitches and hoes! [awkward silence] What? you think we ignint just cuz we live in tha hood? Gary: No, I didn't say that. Tec: Whatever.

Bad Rhymes The Hood

Traffic, traffic lookin' fo my Chapstick, feelin' kinda carsick, there's a Ford Maverick.

Traffic ChapStick Ford Maverick Bad Rhymes

I'm gonna be on the campaign trizzy too, 24/7. you know, kissin' babies and whatnot.

Bad Rhymes

I got a PHD. Poser Hater Degree.

Bad Rhymes Ph.D.Poser hater

PJ: If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt? B-Rad: I stole that, too.

Poseurs Fake Tough Guys

B-Rad: And If I work hard, I can be the biggest rapper there ever was? Ronnie Rizzat: Rapper? Hell, no, you stink. B-Rad: Don't be hatin'. Ronnie Rizzat: I'd rather eat garbage then listen to your tired-ass rhymes.

Bad Rhymes Tired-Ass

My name is B-rad. Not Robbie van Winkle. I like my lattes nonfat and don't fo-get the sprinkle.

Bad Rhymes Robbie Van Winkle Vanilla Ice latte

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