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Nick Offerman

75 quotesActor · Born Jun 26, 1970 · United States Of America · Male

Nicholas "Nick" Offerman (born June 26, 1970) is an American actor, producer, screenwriter, director, author, musician, stand-up comedian and carpenter widely known for his breakout role as Ron Swanson in the acclaimed NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation, for which he received the Television Critics Association Award for Individual Achievement in Comedy. His first major television role since the end of Parks and Recreation was his role as Karl Weathers in the FX series Fargo, for which he received a Critics' Choice Television Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor in a Movie/Miniseries. 2Early life Offerman was born in Joliet, Illinois and grew up in Minooka, Illinois. He is the son of Cathy (née Roberts), a nurse, and Ric Offerman, who taught social studies at a junior high school in nearby Channahon. Offerman was raised Catholic. He received a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the University of Illinois at Urbana–Champaign in 1993. That year, he and a group of fellow students co-founded the Defiant Theatre, a Chicago-based theatre company. 2Career Offerman lived in Chicago in the mid-1990s, where he participated with theatre companies such as Steppenwolf, Goodman, and Wisdom Bridge. At Steppenwolf, he also worked as a fight choreographer and master carpenter. During this time, Offerman became acquainted with Amy Poehler, who was heavily involved with the Chicago improv comedy scen

All humor (6)Breakfast Food (5)Fishing (4)Fear (3)don't care (3)ex-wife (3)Crying (2)Wrong Name (2)Chummy (2)Smart (2)Pain (2)Enthusiasm (2)Scared (2)Meat-Eaters (2)Capitalism (2)

From “Emergency Response”

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.

Dogs cats Small Dogs

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

dog fifty pounds Cat useless

From “Sweet Sixteen”

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

Half-Assed Whole-Assed

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

humor

From “Partridge”

I regret nothing. The end.

Regret Nothing The End

There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

Skim Milk lying Water Personification Examples

From “Flu Season”

The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Solipsism Best friend don't care

You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.’

Meat Tornado

I'm not interested in caring about people.

Love socialization Human Interaciton

Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

idiots give 100%impossible more than 100%

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

worked never learned name Best friend

From “Anniversaries”

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.

Frozen Yogurt Celery zero stars

From “Farmers Market”

[Holds up iPod] TOM PUT ALL MY RECORDS INTO THIS RECTANGLE. THE SONGS JUST PLAY ONE AFTER THE OTHER. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT RECTANGLE.

iPod Records Songs rectange Happy

From “Camping”

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

Fishing Relaxing yoga Murder

Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something.

humor Fishing Hunting

From “Win, Lose, or Draw”

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Clear Alcohol Rich Women Diets

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Scotch Hard Liquor Drinking Alcohol Quips

From “Indianapolis”

Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait... wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Bacon eggs Understand food

From “Born and Raised”

When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.

Chummy Wrong Name don't care

When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

Chummy Wrong Name don't care

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