1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Mike Scully
Mike Scully photo

Mike Scully Quotes

Total quotes: 9
“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: Ron and Tammy
Tagged: deathbed, final wish, Ex-Wives, Go to Hell
“I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: Ron and Tammy
Tagged: Simple Man, Pretty Women, Brunettes, Breakfast Food
“Pawnee's Library Department is the most diabolical, ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen. They're like a biker gang but instead of shotguns and crystal meth they use political savvy and shhhing.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: Ron and Tammy
Tagged: Diabolical, Ruthless, Biker Gang, Political Savvy
“I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 4: The Comeback Kid
Tagged: Broad Brush, Thief, Miserable, Incompetent
“Milhouse, knock him down if he's in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone.”
— Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
Tagged: Hockey, face, strategy, plan
“Gym Teacher: Tell you what, Simpson: I won't fail you if you join one of those peewee teams outside the school.

Lisa: You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?”
— Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
Tagged: Fail, peewee, Teams, gym class, leagues, Competitive, failed dreams, glory
“Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 14: How I Spent My Strummer Vacation
Tagged: Simile Examples, Marriage, Coffin, Children, nails
“Are you going to tell a man that he can’t fart in his own car?”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: The Possum
Tagged: Fart
“Nelson: [beating up Bart] This is for wasting teacher's valuable time! 

Lisa: Lay off, guys! He's with me.

Jimbo: It's a lucky coincidence you happen to be your sister's brother.”
— Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Lisa on Ice
Tagged: beating up, Waste, Teacher, valuable time, coincidence, sister, Brother, role reversal
loading next page...