1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Max Pross

Max Pross Quotes

Total quotes: 34
“Kramer: You’re becoming one of the glitterati.

George: What’s that?

Kramer: People who glitter.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Race
Tagged: Glitterati
“Salad! What was I thinking? Women don't respect salad eaters.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Wink
Tagged: Salad, Masculinity, Women, Veganism
“I don't get it. Not allowed to ask a Chinese person where the Chinese restaurant is! I mean, aren't we all getting a little too sensitive? I mean, someone asks me which way's Israel, I don't fly off the handle.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Cigar Store Indian
Tagged: Political Correctness, Hypersensitivity, Social Justice, Chinese Restaurants, Israel
“Hey George, what do you like better? The ‘bro’ or the ‘mansiere’?”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Doorman
Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Bro, Mansiere, Man Boobs
“Hey believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship?”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Raincoats
Tagged: Baldness, trends, Aliens
“You know, selling bras exclusively to women, we're really only utilizing fifty percent of the market.”
— Sid Farkus, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Doorman
Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Underwear, Bro, Mansiere
“I'd rather be dating the blind. You know you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good-looking blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Wink
Tagged: Dating, blind dates, Blind People, Sloppiness, Deaf People
“You know what would make a great coffee table book? A coffee table book about coffee tables! Get it?”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Cigar Store Indian
Tagged: Coffee Tables, Books, Coffee Table Books
“A bra is for ladies. I'm talking about a support undergarment specifically designed for men.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Doorman
Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Mansiere, Bro, Underwear
“The transition from summer to fall is a tricky one. Like astronauts returning from space. We had to re-enter the atmosphere of school carefully, so the sudden change in pressure wouldn't kill us.”
— Narrator (Adult Kevin), The Wonder Years, Season 3: Math Class
Tagged: Seasons, Astronauts, Summer, Fall
“I lived with him for forty years, I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover!”
— Estelle Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Doorman
Tagged: Cross-Dressing, Transvestitism, J. Edgar Hoover, Bro, Mansiere
“Yeah, except you don't really have any black friends. Outside of us, you don't have any white friends, either.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Diplomat's Club
Tagged: Racial Pandering, Tokenism, Interracial Friendships
“There are times in life when you think you’re lost. When every turn you take seems wrong. Then just for a moment, you see a light. And so I began that long climb into the light. Only this time I wasn’t alone.”
— Narrator (Adult Kevin), The Wonder Years, Season 3: Math Class
Tagged: Hard Times, Difficulty, Struggle, Overcoming
“Just because you're a communist, does that mean you can't wear anything nice? You look like Trotsky. It's gorgeous. Fine, you want to be a communist, be a communist. Can't you at least look like a successful communist?”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Race
Tagged: Communism, Leon Trotsky, Fashion, Success
“Now see, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies, sitting around, chewing gum, huh?”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Gum
Tagged: Chewing Gum, Friendship, Holidays, Male Bonding
“I don't understand this. Why wouldn't you want to get something that's better if I'm telling you it's better? And it's not a little better—it's much better.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Doll
Tagged: Electric Toothbrush, Free Will
“Because you're a bunch of yuppies. It's your go-go corporate takeover lifestyles that are driving out these Mom and Pop stores and destroying the fabric of this neighborhood.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Mom & Pop Store
Tagged: Yuppies, Corporate Takeover, Gentrification
“See, here, you're just another apple, but in Japan, you're an exotic fruit. Like an orange. Which is rare there.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Checks
Tagged: Japan, orange, Fruit, apples
“Your Nana is missing because she's been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Pledge Drive
Tagged: Bank Fraud, Bad Checks
“Look, honey, I know you're trying to get Lloyd to notice you, but this is too much. Parading around in a wet T-shirt.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Gum
Tagged: Wet T-Shirt Contest, seduction
“What kind of a snobby, stuck-up cult is this?”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Checks
Tagged: Cults, Snobby, Stuck-Up
“A gift not enjoyed is like a flower that doesn't blossom.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Pledge Drive
Tagged: gifts, Flowers
“I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Pie
Tagged: Food Is Greater Than People, Food Over People, Pie, Deserts, Good Reasons To Break Up With Someone
“This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel!”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Pie
Tagged: Pie, mind games
“You were making out during Schindler's List?”
— Helen Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Raincoats
Tagged: Schindler's List, Holocaust, Making Out, Inappropriate
“Well, you really got bald there, didn't you?”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Race
Tagged: Baldness, Cruelty
“Well, Poppie's a little sloppy.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Pie
Tagged: hygiene, Restaurant Inspections, germs
“You really think you're better than me, don't you?”
— The Doorman, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Doorman
Tagged: Envy, Class Differences, Doormen
“Remember that night I found you at Dinky Donuts? You were all hopped up on cinnamon swirls! They wouldn't serve you anymore! You wouldn't even have any teeth if it wasn't for me taking you over to Joe's fruit stand and stuff a cantaloupe down your throat! So much for gratitude...yeah, yeah, yeah!”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Glasses
Tagged: Sugar Addiction, Addiction
“Conformity is an obsession with me.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Pie
Tagged: Conformity, Team Players, Job Interviews
“I-I-I'm not crazy about used clothes. I mean they call it vintage, you know to take your mind off of what it really is ‘nasty wear.’ Oh it's clean you know people wear underwear, ya well they don't wear iron underwear and that's what it's gonna take to get me in those clothes. I mean I'll move into an apartment after a strange person moves out, why would I wanna move into somebody's pants?”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Raincoats
Tagged: Used Clothes, Thrift Stores, Vintage Stores, Underwear
“In four years of high school I would never race anyone again. Not even to the end of the block to catch a bus. And so the legend grew. Everyone wanted me to race. They begged me. The track coach called my parents. Pleading. Telling them it was a sin to waste my God-given talent. But I answered him in the same way I answered everyone: ‘I choose not to run.’”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Race
Tagged: Track And Field, high school, Racing, Talent
“Personal distance is a very important thing. There's a new personal distance, ATM distance. When someone's using an ATM, you wanna be about six feet back, don't you? Because people a little edgy around that ATM, don't they? They got their money out, their eyes are darting all around. The other place I wanna be about six feet away is urinals; you want some distance there, too. ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuable out of their pants you want to give them as much room as possible.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Raincoats
Tagged: ATMs, Personal Space, urinals
“Good, Merry Christmas, George. And bring me back some of those cigars in the cedar boxes, you know the ones with the fancy rings? I love those fancy rings. They kind of distract you while you're smoking. The red and yellow are nice. It looks good against the brown of the cigar. The Maduro, I like the Maduro wrapper. The darker, the better, that's what I say. Of course, the Claro's good, too. That's more of a pale brown, almost like a milky coffee. I find the ring size very confusing. They have it in centimeters which I don't really understand that well...”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Race
Tagged: Cigars, Cuban Cigars, Maduro, Cuba
loading next page...