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Marta Kauffman Quotes

Total quotes: 31
“If anybody is going to sit on Ryan Gosling's face it's going to be me.”
— Grace Hanson, Supernatural, Season 5: The End
Tagged: Funny, TV Shows, Moms
“Frankie Bergstein: What brand would you smoke if your husband turned out to be gay? 

Clerk: Uh, Newports? 

Frankie Bergstein: For 20 years? 

Clerk: Lucky's.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The End
Tagged: When Your Husband Turns Out To Be Gay
“Isn't it a little early for that watermelon to be drunk? I'm talking about you, Grace. You're the watermelon.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Bender
Tagged: Drunk, Drinking, Alcohol, Metaphor, Day Drinking, Drunk In The Morning
“Grace: You are in need of some serious cheering up.

Frankie: I'm not without cheer. I'm a little down. It's an honest down, and since you are so up, there's a homeostatic balance.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Bachelor Party
Tagged: Cheering Up, A Little Down, Homeostatic Balance, Sad Times, Pick Me Up
“Grace: Sol's probably going to ask you to do an interpretive dance.

Frankie: I don't think I can. I mean, I could. I mean, I usually see where my body takes me in the moment.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Invitation
Tagged: dance, Interpretive Dance, Body, Body Movements, Free Spirit
“He must decide. He must decide. Even though I made him up, he must decide!”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 2: The One with the List
Tagged: Decide, imaginary friends
“You should probably brace yourself for some light vomiting followed by life altering hallucinations.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The End
Tagged: Funny, Drugs, Mom, TV Shows
“If you're going into the kitchen could you get me two whiskey sours? One for each hand.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Funeral
Tagged: Funny, Mom, TV Shows, Drinking
“Have you ever wondered if Ben and Jerry make more than ice cream together?”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The End
Tagged: Funny, TV Shows, Moms
“Hope is over-rated.”
— Grace Hanson, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Road Trip
Tagged: Hope, Doubt, Overrated, Over It
“I just prefer to have everybody like me.”
— Sol Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 3: The Art Show
Tagged: Need to Be Liked, need to be loved
“We are both formidable people who detest children.”
— Grace Hanson, Grace and Frankie, Season 5: The House
Tagged: kids, Children, Kids Are Annoying
“I don't need anybody but me to tell me that I'm an artist.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 3: The Art Show
Tagged: Creating Art, What Makes You An Artist
“Robert: I mean, what if we'll never be able to be happy because our entire relationship was based on lies and betrayals so awful that karmically we're doomed?

Sol: Wow, you're more Jewish than I am.

Robert: Well, we Catholics know our way around guilt, too.”
— Robert Hanson, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Loophole
Tagged: Guilt, Karma, Happiness, Lies, Betrayal, Jewish, Catholic
“ FLIMSY!”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Loophole
Tagged: Flimsy, Declaration, Shock, Awe, Surprised
“F*** that noise!”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Bender
Tagged: Noise, Dismissive, annoyed, Objection
“I lost both my virginities in this house, it's my house.”
— Brianna Hanson, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Dinner
Tagged: Virginity, Lost My Virginity, My House, Memories, Possession
“Frankie: Is that why you're wearing that ass hugging dress?

Grace: Exactly. Yes. When I walk into Larry's house, everybody's going to look at me and say, 'What a waste?'

Frankie: Wouldn't they be saying that when you walk out?”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Funeral
Tagged: ass, Ass Hugging, Tight Dress, Called Out
“Paper! Snow! A Ghost!”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 10: The One Where The Stripper Cries
Tagged: paper, Snow, Ghost, Things That Are White
“I struggle to believe you.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Fall
Tagged: Belief, Struggle, Doubt
“You play like an Amish kid!”
— Grace Hanson, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Test
Tagged: Amish, Diss, kid, Playing
“Why would you yell at a golden retriever? They're like living hugs!”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Loophole
Tagged: Golden Retriever, hugs, sweet, Kind, Warm, Yelling
“You can't see me, you can't stop me.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Dinner
Tagged: Sneaky, Stealing, Stop Me, See Me
“Grace: Fold the corners. No, fold. Fold the corners.

Frankie: They're round. They do not fold. Anyone who can do this is a powerful witch.

Grace: Well, I can do it.

Frankie: I rest my case.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Invitation
Tagged: witch, Rest My case, Domestic, Folding, chores
“I gained another pound today. But I think it's a pound of knowledge.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Bachelor Party
Tagged: Funny, Drugs, Mom, TV Shows
“This is not the energy I wanted to start my vision quest with.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The End
Tagged: Funny, TV Shows, Moms, Drugs, Psychodelica
“I just took muscle relaxors with peyote?”
— Grace Hanson, Supernatural, Season 5: The End
Tagged: Funny, Drugs, Mom, TV Shows
“Sweet, muscular Jesus!”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Funeral
Tagged: Strong Jesus
“And I am a certified amateur psychologist.”
— Frankie Bergstein, Grace and Frankie, Season 1: The Vows
Tagged: Funny, Mom, TV Shows, Parents
“Grace: I don't know why she has to blow everything out of proportion. Ya know, I might have said some terrible things to her but I was drunk. I didn't mean it.

Babe: Oh. Really? Did you know in North Korea they use vodka as truth serum.

Grace: No they don't.

Babe: Then Dennis Rodman's a fucking liar.”
— Grace Hanson, Grace and Frankie, Season 2: The Party
Tagged: vodka, Alcohol, Liar, Truth Serum, Drunk, Regrets
“Rachel: Chandler wrote something about me on that paper and I want to see it!

Ross: Chandler, isn't that the short story you were writing?

Rachel: Short story? And I'm in it? I want to read it!

Ross, Joey, Chandler: NO!

Joey: Why don't you read it to her?

Chandler: It was summer... and it was hot. Rachel was there... A lonely grey couch…‘OH LOOK!’ cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The End.”
— Rachel Green, Friends, Friends Season 2: The One with the List
Tagged: fairy tales, short stories
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