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Marjorie Gross Quotes

Total quotes: 17
“You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra. I’m terribly sorry.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary
Tagged: Attraction, Irony, Job Interviews
“Oh, understudies are a very shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy
Tagged: Understudies, Substitute Teachers
“No one is touching my feet. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I've got a foot odor problem.”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy
Tagged: Feet, Podiatry, Pedicures, Foot Odor
“Now, the ending is kind of an option. I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a great capper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry
Tagged: Sex, The Move, David Puddy
“You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry
Tagged: Dating, Out There, Electroshock Therapy
“So, my dear, you think you can get to Broadway. Well, let me tell you something. Broadway has no room for people like you. Not the Broadway I know. My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy
Tagged: broadway, Understudies, Show Business
“It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head
Tagged: baths, Bathing, Germophobia, Parasites, Microorganisms
“Well, all those mechanics do is work all day with their hands and their big, muscular arms on machines, and then they come home dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski. What a huge turnoff that is.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry
Tagged: Mechanics, Attraction, Manual Labor, muscles, Stanley Kowalski
“Then in the distance I heard the bulls. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian Captoe Oxfords. Sophisticated yet different; nothing to make a huge fuss about. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching leather vent. Men's whole and half sizes 7 through 13. Price: $135.00.”
— J. Peterman, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Understudy
Tagged: J. Peterman, Fashion, Oxfords, Leather, Men's Shoes
“I don't even know what, what is supposed to be attractive about fur? Why does a man want to see a woman in a fur? Men want women to shave their legs, shave their armpits, pluck their eyebrows and then before we go out, we dress them up like a bear.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary
Tagged: fur, Animal Rights
“Sure, I like a cupcake every now and then, like everybody else. You know I like it when they have a little cream on the inside, it's a surprise. That's good, plus the chocolate ones are good, too. Sometimes I just can’t even make up my mind. A lot of times I’ll mix the two together, make a vanilla fudge.”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Secretary
Tagged: Cupcakes, Pastries, chocolate, Vanilla
“He stopped short? That's my move. I'm gonna kill him!”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry
Tagged: Sex, Threats, Sexual Moves
“Swinging? What are you, out of your mind? Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death—which is not far off, by the way.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head
Tagged: Swinging, Aging, Mortality, Grim Death, Grim Reaper, Flatulence
“I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtze in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown. All of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. ‘Just a taste,’ he said. That was all it took.”
— J. Peterman, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head
Tagged: Opium, Addiction, Yangtze River, 1979
“Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: ‘It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.’”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Fusilli Jerry
Tagged: Proctologists, Rectal Foreign Objects, parties
“All right. Anyway, the point I was making before Goebbels made your hamburger is a man like you could be dating women twenty years younger. C'mon, Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in a mirror? You're an Adonis! You've got beautiful features, lovely skin, you're in the prime of your life here, you should be swinging. If I were you I'd tell this Lydia character, ‘It's been real,’ move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign: Open for business.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head
Tagged: Adonis, Males, Players, Playing The Field, Joseph Goebbels, Bachelor Pad
“Yeah, I got some family backstage. Course my family's nuts; they're crazy. Yep. My uncle Leo. I had lunch with him the other day, he's one of these guys that anything goes wrong in life, he blames it on anti-Semitism. You know what I mean, the spaghetti's not al dente? Cook's an anti-Semite. Loses a bet on a horse. Secretariat? Anti-Semitic. Doesn't get a good seat at the temple. Rabbi? Anti-Semite.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Shower Head
Tagged: Anti-Semitism, spaghetti, Secretariat, Crazy Family Members, Jay Leno
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