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Lundy Bancroft Quotes

Total quotes: 4
“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Tagged: Toxic Relationships, Relationships Ending, Toxic
“Their minds work logically; they understand cause and effect; they don't hallucinate. Their perceptions of most life circumstances are reasonably accurate. They get good reports at work; they do well in school or training programs; and no one other than their partners -- and children -- thinks that there is anything wrong with them. Their value system is unhealthy, not their psychology.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?
Tagged: Abusers, Predators, Abuse, Violence Against Women, Misogyny, Patriarchy
“We do, however, need to create a social ethic that makes it clear that anyone who chooses to go to bat for a man accused of abuse has a responsibility to get all the facts and not just the view that he promotes. The abuse of women is simply too rampant for anyone to assume that an allegation is false or exaggerated without checking it out very, very carefully.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?
Tagged: Abuse, Me Too, FRA
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Tagged: Control, Power, Relationships
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