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Louis C.K. Quotes

Total quotes: 15
“When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.”
— Louis C.K.,
Tagged: Feelings, Feelings aren't facts, Pain
“It’s not your life, it’s life. Life is bigger than you. Life isn’t something that you possess, it’s something that you take part in and you witness.”
— Louis C.K.,
Tagged: Life, Living, life advice
“I’m bored is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless. It goes on forever, inwardly. Do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say I’m bored.”
— Louis C.K., Louis C.K. and Philosophy: You Don't Get to Be Bored
Tagged: Bored, Boring, Boredom, Words, Speak, say, live, Life, Living, World, Mind, Mindset, Thinking, Thought, Understand, alive, Choice, Choose
“Max: You're my mom. I want you to know if I have sex or if I wanna get high.

Sam Fox: Ahhh. No. Hide things from me. Please.”
— Max, Better Things, Season 1: Sam/Pilot
Tagged: Parents, Getting High, Hide Things
“My mother is just insane. She makes people feel weird. It's like her hobby.”
— Sam Fox, Better Things, Season 1: Brown
Tagged: mother, insane, Weird
“When I feel bad, I drink, and I don't feel bad anymore. And when I feel good, I drink, and I feel better.”
— Mike, Lucky Louie, Season 1: Drinking
Tagged: Drinking, Alcoholic
“Sunny: Are you having dirty with Mel Trueblood? Oh my god, I love your life.

Sam: You love what you pretend my life is.”
— Sam Fox, Better Things, Season 1: Brown
Tagged: dirty, pretending
“For me, money is like oxygen. You breathe it in and out. You don’t hold your breath. What are you going to do then? You just have to let it go.”
— Louis C.K., Howard Stern Comes Again
Tagged: Money, Oxygen
“You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.”
— Louis C.K., Amazing Quotes That Perfectly Describe Being in Your 20s
Tagged: 20 somethings
“God is like a shitty girlfriend.”
— Louis C.K., Louie
Tagged: Religion, humor, comedy, God
“Well, I think ‘likability’ is an overused word. I don’t watch people ’cause I like them; I watch them because they’re compelling. Sympathetic is a little different … Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows.”
— Louis C.K., Louis C.K. on the Importance of Acting Like an Asshole
Tagged: likability, sympathy, Good, Bad, humanity, characters
“Sam Fox: Have I shut down, down there? Am I a man yet? Please tell me I'm close to being a man. No more periods.

Dr. Okoye: I hate to tell you, but you have the reproductive system of a sixteen-year-old.

Sam Fox: Oh, my god.

Dr. Okoye: Yeah. Your tubes are ripe and working.”
— Sam Fox, Better Things, Season 1: Period
Tagged: periods, menstruation, Menopause, Reproductive System
“And that voting for Trump is a way of saying ‘fuck it. Fuck them all’. I really get it. It’s a version of national Suicide. Or it’s like a big hit off of a crack pipe. Somehow we can’t help it. Or we know that if we vote for Trump our phones will be a reliable source of dopamine for the next four years. I mean I can’t wait to read about Trump every day. It’s a rush. But you have to know this is not healthy.”
— Louis C.K., Louis C.K. Compares Donald Trump to Hitler: ‘He’s an Insane Bigot’
Tagged: Election 2016 Jokes, national suicide, Trump, Donald Trump, Louis C.K., humor
“Sam Fox: It really disgusts me how you will sometimes say anything to avoid responsibility for your mistakes. You had a party and you wrecked the house! You're not the first kid to do that. It's not the end of the world.

Max: Then why are you acting like it is?

Sam Fox: Because you make me get this mad before you even look up from your phone!”
— Sam Fox, Better Things, Season 1: Period
Tagged: Responsibility, Mistakes, End of the World
“The American government is a very volatile, dangerous mechanism, and Hillary has the most experience with it. It’s like if you were on a plane and you wanted to choose a pilot. You have one person, Hillary, who says, ‘Here’s my license. Here’s all the thousands of flights that I’ve flown. Here’s planes I’ve flown in really difficult situations. I’ve had some good flights and some bad flights, but I’ve been flying for a very long time, and I know exactly how this plane works.’ Then you’ve got Bernie, who says, ‘Everyone should get a ride right to their house with this plane.’ ‘Well, how are you going to do that?’ ‘I just think we should. It’s only fair that everyone gets to use the plane equally.’ And then Trump says, ‘I’m going to fly so well. You’re not going to believe how good I’m going to fly this plane, and by the way, Hillary never flew a plane in her life.’ ‘She did, and we have pictures.’ ‘No, she never did it.”
— Louis C.K., Louis C.K. on the Right to Be Offensive, Why White Guys Should Stop Whining, and Bored Masturbation
Tagged: Election Jokes 2016, Election, Trump, Clinton, Sanders, Metaphor, humor
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