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Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop" Quotes

Total quotes: 6
“What's my problem? Punks like you, that's my problem. And you better not screw up again Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle.”
— Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop", Seinfeld, Season 3: The Library
Tagged: Punks, Pit Bulls, Revenge, Tough Guys
“Hard feelings? What do you know about hard feelings? You ever have a man die in your arms? You ever kill somebody?”
— Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop", Seinfeld, Season 3: The Library
Tagged: Police, Interrogators, Feelings
“I remember when the librarian was a much older woman: Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't WANT to know anything about her private life. She didn't HAVE a private life.”
— Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop", Seinfeld, Season 3: The Library
Tagged: Librarians, Spinsters, Privacy
“Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says ‘New York Public Library’? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flouting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how you get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over.”
— Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop", Seinfeld, Season 3: The Library
Tagged: Libraries, Interrogations, Humorlessness, Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat, Pornographic Drawings
“Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abbie Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.”
— Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop", Seinfeld, Season 3: The Library
Tagged: 1971, Hippies, Abbie Hoffman, New York Public Library, Rock Music
“You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried Crystals.”
— Lieutenant Bookman, the "Library Cop", Seinfeld, Season 3: The Library
Tagged: Coffee, Freeze-Dried Coffee, Preparedness
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