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Leslie Knope Quotes

Total quotes: 44
“I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Bad Day, humor, Grumpy, Sad
“Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, Friendship, Love, humor
“I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Salad, food, eating, Health Food
“Lawrence: Hey park lady! You suck.

Leslie: Hear that? He called me park lady.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Season 1: Canvassing
Tagged: Lady, you suck, Insult, Optimistic
“Pawnee's Library Department is the most diabolical, ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen. They're like a biker gang but instead of shotguns and crystal meth they use political savvy and shhhing.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: Ron and Tammy
Tagged: Diabolical, Ruthless, Biker Gang, Political Savvy
“The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Town, Raccoon, Problems
“Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Guys, Dating
“There’s nothing we can’t do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk all other responsibilities in our lives.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, Inspirational
“I'm gonna get drunk and then I'm gonna order a three course meal where each course is made of dessert.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, dessert, humor, Drinking, Stress
“I would like to be president some day, so, no, I have not smoked marijuana.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Marijuana, President, Drugs, Parks And Rec
“I wonder who else was born in Eagleton.

Voldemort, probably.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Government, Voldemort
“Calzones are pointless. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat. No one likes them.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Pizza, Calzones
“Then I’m sure he’s not cheating on you. But if he is, he’s a monster. And if he’s not, you guys are great together. But if he is, I will kill him.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Dating, Cheating
“We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, Parks And Recreation, Friendship, Work, Waffles
“I need you to text me every 30 seconds saying that everything is gonna be okay.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, Friendship, Texting, Love, Anxiety, humor
“You know what? America is awesome. It's so full of hope. And small towns and big cities. And real people and delicious beverages and hot guys.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, America, humor
“Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Parks And Rec, Dating, Men, Relationships
“He told me he liked me and I'm gonna go make out with him right now. On his face.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Making Out, Crush, Love, Relationships, humor, Cute
“No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white male US senator.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Parks And Recreation
“One person’s ‘annoying’ is another person’s ‘inspiring and heroic’.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Parks And Rec
“I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, Drugs, Pot Brownies, humor
“What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, caring, Shouting, Conflict
“I'm going to be direct and honest with you. I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, Wine, Cheap
“I mean, that’s why people respect Hillary Clinton so much, because nobody takes a punch like her. She’s the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Hillary Clinton
“You know, in the 1880's, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Annabeth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was 'A Lively Fisting.' But y'know, they had to change it for...obvious reasons.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: Beauty Pageant
Tagged: rough, Tumble, violent, Famous Fight, Fisting
“Everything hurts and I’m dying”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 4: Campaign Shake-Up
Tagged: Pain, Dying, hurts, Overreaction
“Lucky for me, I've processed all my feelings. And I've gone through the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, internet commenting, cat adoption, African dance, cat returning to the adoption place, watching all the episodes of Murphy Brown, and not giving a flying fart.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 6: Second Chunce
Tagged: Feelings, Grief, Anger, Murphy Brown, emotions
“Jerry: 'I really wish I could have your body.' 
Tom: 'What?' 
April: 'Eww, like tied up naked in your basement?' 
Jerry: 'No, no I mean you’re in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.' 
Leslie: 'That was weird, Jerry.'”
— Jerry Gergich, Tom Haverford, April Ludgate, Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, Funny, Body, Health, Miscommunication, Weird
“Men's rights is nothing.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Men's Rights, humor, Parks And Recreation, Parks And Rec
“I'm cried out but I want to cry more so I'm rehydrating.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, Crying, humor
“The thing about youth culture is I don't understand it.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Youth, Growing Up, humor, youth culture, Millenials
“You're in trouble because of your own stupidity.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: stupidity, humor
“I guess some people object to powerful depictions of awesome ladies.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, feminism, Power, Women
“Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, breakfast, food, eating, humor
“I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: humor, inspiration, Self-Love
“I took your idea and I made it better.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Perfectionism, humor
“I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME!”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, Chill, Relaxed, Personality, Laid-Back, High-strung
“If I had to have a stripper's name, it would be 'Equality.'”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, stripper
“I believe that assault should be legal if the person is a jerk.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Assault, humor, Mean People
“Math is worthless in real life.”
— Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Tagged: Parks And Rec, humor, School, Math, Learning
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