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Leon Phelps Quotes
Total quotes (13)
Leon Phelps
Character
Portrayed by
Tim Meadows
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Total quotes (13)
Listen. I don't care what you say. Chlamydia is a soup. It's my opinion. I can have that if I'd like. You don't have to argue. I've seen it on the grocery store shelf. Don't argue with me about it. I don't care if you are a doctor.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
Chlamydia
Soup
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Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh...was your father a meat burglar? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
meat burglar
fine hams
ass
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I will probably begin with a very classy first line...something like: say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
fish sandwich
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Well, Lance, you're clearly gay. There's nothing really else to say about that. I think you all know that. And that's cool, but, you know, you were trying to oil me up and that's not really cool.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
gay
Homophobia
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Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified not by women but by a man.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
erectile dysfunction
gay
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Soul Station Manager
: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed ‘dabut’ under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps
: Yeah, that's ‘da butt.’
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
da butt
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Ya know, when a man works hard his entire life enduring hundreds of ladies, many of whom he does not even remember you'd like to think that at the end of the day he will be given a lot of money, without having had to earn it.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
player
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My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutante, high society...bus station skank.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
Love
skank
Debutante
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How long have you been uhh nunnin' it up?
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
celibacy
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So...you...don't want a fish sandwich?
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
fish sandwich
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But guys you cannot blame the wang.
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
Wang
Impotence
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Well, listen baby. My car, uh, doesn't exist, so...
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
bragging
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What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt. By Leon Phelps
—
Leon Phelps
(Tim Meadows)
,
The Ladies Man
Love
Longing
Togetherness
Diamond
Cosmos
butt
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Related quotes to
Leon Phelps
tagged
Chlamydia
,
Soup
Doctor
: You've tested positive for... chlamydia.
Dylan
: ...That—that doesn't sound positive.
—
Dylan Witter
(Johnny Flynn)
,
Lovesick
,
Season 1
:
Abigail
Chlamydia
positive
Share
You’re through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!
—
Elaine Benes
(Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 7
:
The Soup Nazi
Soup
Nazis
Soup Nazi
Share
Life is like a bowl of soup. You only get blown if you are hot.
—
turddicken
,
Life is like a bowl of soup.
blown
Hot
Soup
Share
The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli.
—
George Costanza
(Jason Alexander)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 5
:
The Marine Biologist
Anger
Delis
Ocean
Soup
Old Men
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There's only one caveat—the guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He's secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.
—
Jerry Seinfeld
(Jerry Seinfeld)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 7
:
The Soup Nazi
Caveats
Soup
Nazis
Soup Nazi
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He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.
—
Cosmo Kramer
(Michael Richards)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 7
:
The Soup Nazi
Soup
Nazis
Soup Nazi
Geniuses
Eccentric People
Share
Jerry
: You will be stunned.
Elaine
: Stunned by soup?
Jerry
: You can’t eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.
—
Elaine Benes
(Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 7
:
The Soup Nazi
Stunned
Soup
Delicious
Share
You can't eat this soup standing up; your knees buckle.
—
Jerry Seinfeld
(Jerry Seinfeld)
,
Seinfeld
,
Season 7
:
The Soup Nazi
Soup
Nazis
food
Foodie
Share
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