Hey! You’re Jerry's friend. You're goofy. Mind if I sit? My show is going really well. Have you seen it yet? you should. Everybody else have and you know what? I got recognized the other day. How weird is that? I know. At first I liked the attention, but it's like, whoa! Take three steps back. Get a…
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Kathy Griffin
Kathleen Mary Griffin (born November 4, 1960) is an American comedian and actress. She has starred in several comedy specials for cable TV and has released several comedy albums. In 2007 and 2008, Griffin won Primetime Emmy Awards for her reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. She has also appeared on TV and on film numerous times, mainly in supporting roles. Born in Oak Park, Illinois, she moved to Los Angeles in 1978, where she studied drama at the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute and became a member of the improvisational comedy troupe The Groundlings. In the 1990s, Griffin began performing as a stand-up comedian and also appeared as a guest star on several television shows. She achieved wider recognition after her role as a supporting character in the NBC sitcom Suddenly Susan (1996–2000). Her Bravo reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (2005–2010) became a ratings hit for the network and earned her two Emmy Awards for Outstanding Reality Program. Griffin has released six comedy albums, all of which received Grammy Award nominations. Her first album, For Your Consideration (2008), made her the first female comedian to debut at the top of the Billboard Top Comedy Albums char
Let's just say I'm gonna be so politically incorrect, you might even get sued for being in the audience.
There's something about Shania Twain I just don't trust. I don't know, I can't put my finger...she's just too thin. I like my country singers to have the big hair and the big ass.
You know, my whole life and career has been championing the rights of women, gay folk and disenfranchised folk. This administration is a fucking nightmare for us.
I’m the only one who had to do the perp walk. I’m going to have to figure my way out of this and I’m going to have to do it one joke at a time.
That’s the story of my life, honey. They want to suck the comedy out of me and then they want to detach.
I took a picture that you or any one of your friends could make. I put it online and was under federal investigation for conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States of America. I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s insane and I truly believe if it happened to me it could happen to you.
All my comedian friends were mad that I apologised at all, but having performed in two war zones, I thought this is a narrow apology because the thing people think was depicted I understand.
Confession time. What really keeps me up at night. Apathy of the human condition. Abuse of females. Yemen. The Rohingya. Syria. Syrians. Mugabe’s successor, Emmerson Mnangagwa. Torture. Abject cruelty. You?
By my count, Trump has violated at least 6 of the 10 commandments so as soon as you ask for him to seek forgiveness we can talk about other folks.