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Karl Pilkington Quotes

Total quotes: 17
“Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe.”
— Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Nature, Safe, Woods
“Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.”
— Karl Pilkington, The Ricky Gervais Show
Tagged: Walls, window, Change of perspective, Nature, Art
“The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.”
— Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Marriage, Tattoos, Cafe
“It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Clutter, Archaeology, History, humor
“There are more idiots in the world than bright ones, but it’s the odd good one that makes a big difference.”
— Karl Pilkington, Karlology
Tagged: idiots, Making A Difference, Knowledge
“[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.”
— Karl Pilkington
Tagged: environment, Water, Jellyfish, Ocean
“I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.”
— Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Age, Ageing, Life, Living Life To The Fullest, Death
“I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Identity, humor, stupidity
“It annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. at the end of the day they're the same thing, except that squirrels have had a better upbringing.”
— Karl Pilkington, Happyslapped by a Jellyfish: The Words of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Animals, Squirrels, Rats, Upbringing
“I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Fart, Biology, Science, human
“I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Perception, travel, Preference, Decisions
“I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Pyramids, Structure, Building
“The problem is, these days you have to listen to too many parts of your body. Sometimes I go with my gut feeling, some say go with what your heart says - it's only a matter of time before my appendix will have an opinion. This is probably why there are so many helplines these days. No one knows who to bloody listen to!”
— Karl Pilkington, The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad
Tagged: Body, Feelings, Listening To Your Heart, Listening to your body, unknown
“Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Gandhi, humor, camera, India, travel, Fame, Attention
“There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly.”
— Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
Tagged: Ants, Flying, Nature, ability
“I’ve found out that Malakula was named by Captain James Cook. It comes from the French mal au cul which means ‘pain in the arse’ after Cook found it difficult to deal with cannibals, volcanoes and other annoying features. It’s good to know proper explorers sometimes share the feelings I have on my travels.”
— Karl Pilkington, The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad
Tagged: Discovery, name, Exploration, travel
“I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.”
— Karl Pilkington
Tagged: talking, Communication, humor
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