1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Justin Spitzer

Justin Spitzer Quotes

Total quotes: 12
“I am Beyonce, always.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: Body Language
Tagged: Beyonce, Always, Fierce, Iconic
“My future isn't going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It's going to be determined by two big black balls.”
— Darryl Philbin, The Office, Season 8: Lotto
Tagged: balls, innuendo, Vulgar, humor, Inappropriate, Future
“If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 6: Body Language
Tagged: Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, Gun, shot
“Ryan Howard: I'd like to make a toast: to the troops. All the troops. Both sides.

Party guest: That's weird.”
— Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 8: Garden Party
Tagged: humor, awkward, Toast, The Troops, both sides, Weird
“Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.

Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Product Recall
Tagged: phone calls
“Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3: Product Recall
Tagged: Identity Theft
“Maybe we weren't right together, but, it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?”
— Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 8: Angry Andy
Tagged: Rude, Love, fuckboy, immature person, Alone, Spiteful
“Tomorrow is gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday.”
— Amy Dubanowski, Superstore, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Funny Deep, Deep But Also Amusing, Life
“I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls, my bible is the employee code of conduct.”
— Dina Fox, Superstore, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Working In Christianity
“Dr. Kelso: Do you think I got to be chief of medicine by being late?

Dr. Cox: No. You got there by back-stabbing and ass-kissing.

Dr. Kelso: Maybe so, but I started those things promptly at eight.”
— Bob Kelso, Scrubs, Season 3: My Butterfly
Tagged: Chief of Medicine, early, Prompt, Back-stabbing, Ass-Kissing, SASS, late
“I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. Again, that could change.”
— Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 8: Angry Andy
Tagged: Love, Indecisive, fuckboy, Change, Today, This Moment, Dating, Modern Dating
“Dwight Schrute: Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? What's this? What's The Fist?

Jim Halpert: It's just a social club. Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking.

Dwight Schrute: You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion?

Jim Halpert: Nope, social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion.

Dwight Schrute: Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist.

Jim Halpert: And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 7: Dwight K. Schrute,
Tagged: Troll, overthrow, Rebellion, Revolution, Prank, French Revolution, Black Panthers, Communism, Exclusive
loading next page...